ahchoo!
No I'm not sneezing any more, me thinks my allergies have given up I've moved in and victoria is shaping up to be everything i expected it to be, i'm in school and tomorrow i hope or at the very least my day's off i will finally register for classes starting in January.
My emotions however. 'nother story. I'm distraught. really that's the nicest way of putting it. I have huge guilt concerning the arraignments here. these being, my time of departure from my old house and my father being sick, and the fact that its "yearly family togetherness time" (i don't like chirstmas read more) Even tho my roomate assures me that everything is OK and we will endure I cannot help but feel i may become a bigger pain in the ass then i can bare right now.
Some times i wish i didn't have any friends, this is a lame idea because i love my friends muchly and the thought of removing the precious few i have left is more frightening every time i think it. my friends mean lots more to me now then ever, I've weeded out the fake ones and the manipulating kind. all i have left are those that really care and want to help.
I had a freak-out today, truth be told I cannot stand this season we have entered in to nor can i stand that a year ago my dad was to die without treatment.
Christmas with all its pomp and circumstance surrounding the latest and greatest toy's no longer appeals to me. Yes there are things i want and yes there are things that i will buy for others but really, what i want i can buy my self and i don't need a designated day to bestow on to others gifts that represent how much they mean to me. When in reality all i really need right now is what i received earlier today: a hug
I don't like the fact I'm putting one of my best friends out, Even tho again i am being assured that everything for the moment is OK and open communication will occur should any problems arise. I do feel honored tho that she would open up her house to me, I don't have any where else i can go really, living with family will only last for so long out here and of all my friends she understands what i'm feeling and is there to offer suggestions.
Work is progressing steadily and its nice to be in charge of a bake shift again. working here is different then any other timmies, its lighter and its got more too it then in the other stores.
I don't feel very good i think i'm going to go lie down and sleep.
things'll get better after sleep
at least the sun is there tomorrow, even obscured by clouds its light out and right now that is what counts for me
sid
My emotions however. 'nother story. I'm distraught. really that's the nicest way of putting it. I have huge guilt concerning the arraignments here. these being, my time of departure from my old house and my father being sick, and the fact that its "yearly family togetherness time" (i don't like chirstmas read more) Even tho my roomate assures me that everything is OK and we will endure I cannot help but feel i may become a bigger pain in the ass then i can bare right now.
Some times i wish i didn't have any friends, this is a lame idea because i love my friends muchly and the thought of removing the precious few i have left is more frightening every time i think it. my friends mean lots more to me now then ever, I've weeded out the fake ones and the manipulating kind. all i have left are those that really care and want to help.
I had a freak-out today, truth be told I cannot stand this season we have entered in to nor can i stand that a year ago my dad was to die without treatment.
Christmas with all its pomp and circumstance surrounding the latest and greatest toy's no longer appeals to me. Yes there are things i want and yes there are things that i will buy for others but really, what i want i can buy my self and i don't need a designated day to bestow on to others gifts that represent how much they mean to me. When in reality all i really need right now is what i received earlier today: a hug
I don't like the fact I'm putting one of my best friends out, Even tho again i am being assured that everything for the moment is OK and open communication will occur should any problems arise. I do feel honored tho that she would open up her house to me, I don't have any where else i can go really, living with family will only last for so long out here and of all my friends she understands what i'm feeling and is there to offer suggestions.
Work is progressing steadily and its nice to be in charge of a bake shift again. working here is different then any other timmies, its lighter and its got more too it then in the other stores.
I don't feel very good i think i'm going to go lie down and sleep.
things'll get better after sleep
at least the sun is there tomorrow, even obscured by clouds its light out and right now that is what counts for me
sid