lauren caitlin upton: an alternative hypothesis
By now, I imagine everybody has seen Miss South Carolina pontificate on geographical ignorance; if you have not, I reproduce the video and transcript below for your convenience.
Transcript:
“I personally believe that U.S. Americans are unable to do so because, uh, some, uh… people out there in our nation don’t have maps, and, uh, I believe that our education like such as in South Africa and, uh, the Iraq everywhere like, such as and… I believe that they should, our education over here in the U.S. should help the U.S., err, uh, should help South Africa and should help the Iraq and the Asian countries, so we will be able to build up our future for our
-Lauren Caitlin Upton, Miss Teen USA - South Carolina
It really hits you when you look at the words in print, that this goes beyond bad grammar. This person is not aware that words are intended for communication -- to Miss Teen USA South Carolina, talking is just a series of mouth noises that people make to pass the time, like humming or right-wing political rhetoric.
So I have a theory. Imagine that the Greys are designing their infiltration robot(just go with it for a second), and they get stuck working on the speech center part of the brain. They can build it to pronounce words, but not to use the words to exchange information -- the language center never connects with the reasoning center.
What to do? The conquest of Food Planet XJ6017 cannot proceed. Late into the night, the alien cyberneticians work, drinking little alien Red Bulls. Finally one raises its bulbous head.
"Why don't we just make it look like an attractive 18-year-old girl?" he says. "No one will hear a fucking word it says."
The Reticulans rejoice! The invasion is saved, the timetable will be preserved. Until the giant mechanical brains controlling InfiltraBot get cocky, and start entering it in beauty pageants...
Click to viewTranscript:
“I personally believe that U.S. Americans are unable to do so because, uh, some, uh… people out there in our nation don’t have maps, and, uh, I believe that our education like such as in South Africa and, uh, the Iraq everywhere like, such as and… I believe that they should, our education over here in the U.S. should help the U.S., err, uh, should help South Africa and should help the Iraq and the Asian countries, so we will be able to build up our future for our
-Lauren Caitlin Upton, Miss Teen USA - South Carolina
It really hits you when you look at the words in print, that this goes beyond bad grammar. This person is not aware that words are intended for communication -- to Miss Teen USA South Carolina, talking is just a series of mouth noises that people make to pass the time, like humming or right-wing political rhetoric.
So I have a theory. Imagine that the Greys are designing their infiltration robot(just go with it for a second), and they get stuck working on the speech center part of the brain. They can build it to pronounce words, but not to use the words to exchange information -- the language center never connects with the reasoning center.
What to do? The conquest of Food Planet XJ6017 cannot proceed. Late into the night, the alien cyberneticians work, drinking little alien Red Bulls. Finally one raises its bulbous head.
"Why don't we just make it look like an attractive 18-year-old girl?" he says. "No one will hear a fucking word it says."
The Reticulans rejoice! The invasion is saved, the timetable will be preserved. Until the giant mechanical brains controlling InfiltraBot get cocky, and start entering it in beauty pageants...