I'm not gay, fucker.. my husband is.
Who the fuck gets fucking married because they lost twenty games of Connect Four? I FUCKING DO! That's right, I am fucking married to Silent Bitch now! He decided that he couldn't continue living with me cooking, cleaning and supporting my drug habit unless we were married. What the fuck? Am I supposed to do this shit on my own? I can't cook, I can't even twist the caps off of my own bottles how the fuck am I supposed to operate an oven or microwave?! Stupid motherfucker. So, I made a bet. If I won a game of Connect Four, I wouldn't marry him...however, if that fat bitch won, I would. So, we played a game. I lost immediately and demanded a rematch. 19 matches later, he did his stupid Triumphant Fat Dance and I sulked all the way to the fucking Drive-Thru service thingie.
At first some fucker named Jeff wanted to marry us, but I had to have some say I mean shit, I wanted to be married by the male Goldberry impersonator. And so we were.
Did you know people have sex after their married? CAN YOU FUCKING BELIEVE THAT?! So I ranted and raved about him only wanting to marry me to have sex with me Like, omg, isn't he supposed to love me or something? and He.Never.Denied.It. He just sat there and nodded. That fucker!
So we had sex only after I made him agree(and sign a fucking contract)that in the event of his death that I would get everything he owns and also the sex would stop immediately if he tried to put me in any sort of rehab, support groups, or if he could not supply me with everything I need.
A junkie needs their fucking security like everybody else.
At first some fucker named Jeff wanted to marry us, but I had to have some say I mean shit, I wanted to be married by the male Goldberry impersonator. And so we were.
Did you know people have sex after their married? CAN YOU FUCKING BELIEVE THAT?! So I ranted and raved about him only wanting to marry me to have sex with me Like, omg, isn't he supposed to love me or something? and He.Never.Denied.It. He just sat there and nodded. That fucker!
So we had sex only after I made him agree(and sign a fucking contract)that in the event of his death that I would get everything he owns and also the sex would stop immediately if he tried to put me in any sort of rehab, support groups, or if he could not supply me with everything I need.
A junkie needs their fucking security like everybody else.