The adventures of Silent Bitch and I
The past month or so was spent trying to fucking find our way home or at least in familiar fucking territory. Since Silent Bitch and I basically piss off half of those we come in contact with or just associate with people that really don't give a fuck, we know and don't care that we weren't missed. Well, maybe Silent Bitch does, the fatb bastard weeps for anything. Stupid fuck.
Anyway, we spent most of our fucking time doing the ever so popular thing of smoking blunts and drinkin' beer. Repetitive as all hell but it's something that needs to be done. So we did it and got drunk of our asses and got mugged by a couple of dwarves. Silent Bitch had the chance to fucking smite the fuckers but did he do so? Of course not, pulling out his fucking machine gun would require too much fucking effort on his behalf and Eru fucking forbid the fat fuck lose at least 14 punds of his arm fat.
So of course this errupted into a screaming match in which Silent Bitch got furious and wanted a divorce, I tried to explain yet again that Drive-Thru Chapel service wasn't the real deal, he never listened and changed his mind about a divorce. What a poor pitiful delusional fucker. In the midst of using every insult I could throw at him, we were kidnapped by sado-masochistic midgets with tricycles. I won't even begin to describe the fucking torture inflicted.
We finally escaped by slashing the tires and disguising ourselves as women, I look fucking great in a dress. Then we were sheltered by hippies with a really bad Mexican stash. For days we were zoned and occassionally got out of our drug hazed stupor thinking we were part of some weird chicken coven.
The next few days we were brutually harrassed by a perfume salesman.
After that we went to some stupid beach in which I buried myself in the sand to do some soul searching, I didn't find my soul. All I found was sand burrowed in places it shouldn't be.
Now, we're back and sitting amongst crumpled Doritos bags, empty beer bottles and moldy hoagies. Someone next door won't stop singing that fucking "Finally" song that every drag queen in Middle Fucking Earth performs.
All these fucking pills and not one of them is Advil.
Anyway, we spent most of our fucking time doing the ever so popular thing of smoking blunts and drinkin' beer. Repetitive as all hell but it's something that needs to be done. So we did it and got drunk of our asses and got mugged by a couple of dwarves. Silent Bitch had the chance to fucking smite the fuckers but did he do so? Of course not, pulling out his fucking machine gun would require too much fucking effort on his behalf and Eru fucking forbid the fat fuck lose at least 14 punds of his arm fat.
So of course this errupted into a screaming match in which Silent Bitch got furious and wanted a divorce, I tried to explain yet again that Drive-Thru Chapel service wasn't the real deal, he never listened and changed his mind about a divorce. What a poor pitiful delusional fucker. In the midst of using every insult I could throw at him, we were kidnapped by sado-masochistic midgets with tricycles. I won't even begin to describe the fucking torture inflicted.
We finally escaped by slashing the tires and disguising ourselves as women, I look fucking great in a dress. Then we were sheltered by hippies with a really bad Mexican stash. For days we were zoned and occassionally got out of our drug hazed stupor thinking we were part of some weird chicken coven.
The next few days we were brutually harrassed by a perfume salesman.
After that we went to some stupid beach in which I buried myself in the sand to do some soul searching, I didn't find my soul. All I found was sand burrowed in places it shouldn't be.
Now, we're back and sitting amongst crumpled Doritos bags, empty beer bottles and moldy hoagies. Someone next door won't stop singing that fucking "Finally" song that every drag queen in Middle Fucking Earth performs.
All these fucking pills and not one of them is Advil.