bah. i hate arda.
My darling, darling wife decided to put her darling adorable little foot into her fucking mouth and make a vow to her illegitimate son that she wouldn't leave Arda until he did.
I, being of sound mind and rather cleaved to her, must stay with her in this... place (lovely place!) while my precious Tirion is just... without its king. :( At least everyone else is here too so they can't fuck it up either. Last thing I need are those disgruntled former residents of Mandos sitting in my throne/recliner, making decisions, looking pretty, etc.
So what have we been doing? Fucking bupkis. Absolutely fucking nothing. We sit outside in this courtyard a lot while a tour group comes by and points out shit to tourists... this is where they buried Ereinion's pile of ashes.. this is where Elrond first molested his future wife when he was still an elfling or whatever, this is blah blah blah you get the point. Earwen wanders off once in a while when her boy comes in moping and consoles him, he goes off, she comes back, hug cuddle etc. "I'm sorry you're still here, you can go if you want" but I know that if I look at that whore Cirdan without my restraints next to me, I'll end up killing one of the First Elves. And that's just not good for my kingly public image.
But I can kill Fingon, who has escaped my grips everytime I see him around the damn castle. The first day he was bold and threw a water balloon at my "ridiculously large" head, and before Earwen could stop me, I ran after him, caught him in a corner, almost turned his ridiculously large head into putty but his father found me and almost beat the crap out of me with Aeglos until I beckoned to the pointy stick with a cleaning cloth. Five points for House of Finarfin! All the rest of you can suck it.
Earwen just thwapped me on the back of the head, which is either a signal that I should come to bed and shag her senseless or that I shouldn't have written all that. Hey, an elf can dream, can't he?
I, being of sound mind and rather cleaved to her, must stay with her in this... place (lovely place!) while my precious Tirion is just... without its king. :( At least everyone else is here too so they can't fuck it up either. Last thing I need are those disgruntled former residents of Mandos sitting in my throne/recliner, making decisions, looking pretty, etc.
So what have we been doing? Fucking bupkis. Absolutely fucking nothing. We sit outside in this courtyard a lot while a tour group comes by and points out shit to tourists... this is where they buried Ereinion's pile of ashes.. this is where Elrond first molested his future wife when he was still an elfling or whatever, this is blah blah blah you get the point. Earwen wanders off once in a while when her boy comes in moping and consoles him, he goes off, she comes back, hug cuddle etc. "I'm sorry you're still here, you can go if you want" but I know that if I look at that whore Cirdan without my restraints next to me, I'll end up killing one of the First Elves. And that's just not good for my kingly public image.
But I can kill Fingon, who has escaped my grips everytime I see him around the damn castle. The first day he was bold and threw a water balloon at my "ridiculously large" head, and before Earwen could stop me, I ran after him, caught him in a corner, almost turned his ridiculously large head into putty but his father found me and almost beat the crap out of me with Aeglos until I beckoned to the pointy stick with a cleaning cloth. Five points for House of Finarfin! All the rest of you can suck it.
Earwen just thwapped me on the back of the head, which is either a signal that I should come to bed and shag her senseless or that I shouldn't have written all that. Hey, an elf can dream, can't he?