Pain in Bliss
Everything should be all smiles in my world, but sitting here I feel like I'm getting over emotional. I don't know what I'm feeling, but I feel like i just want to breakdown and cry, thinking about it makes it worst. I enjoy my job, I have great friends, I'm getting my bills all paid(slowly), and I'm usually happy. Tony and my Bar & Grill / Indoor Paintball Arena got approved and we are excited for everything to go through. Finacially, I'm going to be set for a while, but I'm still just down, I feel heartbroken, depressed, and sidelined, when everything is fine. I feel like I'm losing everything... I feel like my friends are leaving me, when they aren't. I feel like everything I have isn't what I want, when I'm honestly content with what I have. I want more, when I am happy with nothing. I feel like I'm dying, when I'm living everyday to its fullest. I feel like this huge burden on me, when there isn't. I feel bad, cause there is only one person I can really talk to, and she has her own things going on. I hate..... me. ~B