Give and Take Ch.12A (The Warren Alpert Chronicles)
Title: Give and Take Ch.12A {The Warren Alpert Chronicles P.4a}
Author: Kinwad
Pairing: Brian and Justin
Rating: PG13
A/Ns: Posted in two parts
Summary: We cannot change anything until we accept it.
Disclaimer: I own nothing w/QAF
“Acceptance of what has happened is the first step to overcoming the consequences of any misfortune.” W.James
Bone tired after a week of four new patients, one emergency and one conference, Warren needed to turn off his brain and turn on his body. He couldn't wait to kick back and relax on the weekend. Two days of mindless leisure was just the ticket. But a more immediate yet equally pleasurable indulgence interrupted his daydream, the scent of freshly brewed coffee.
“I thought you could use this about now.” Laura placed the piping hot Starbucks on the desk.
“Mmm. How’d you guess?” He inhaled the rich aroma, savoured the first taste, and exhaled an appreciative sigh. Sometimes the simplest things could produce a most satisfying effect on the body.
She made herself comfortable in the chair next to his desk and opened her appointment book. “After the week from hell, I figured coffee was one of the favored items on your hit list."
He eyed her suspiciously over the rim. “Or was it because you wanted one of your disgusting latte drinks?”
“That, too,” she admitted. “What can I say? I’m a sucker for good advertising.” Her eyes crinkled. “I’ll even be very Emily Post-like and not mention your other favored items.”
“You're too kind, Laura. Okay, what do we have?” He sipped the hot liquid as they went through their scheduled summary of the week.
“Fini!” She closed her book with a snap and headed toward the door.
He caught her sympathetic look. “What's the matter?”
Her appraisal poured over him with the same attention to detail she used in her job. “You work too hard, you know. Only one more. Should I send him in?”
“Please.” Alone in his office, he ran a hand through his hair. He had discovered another gray strand in the shower and while he liked to think he wasn't a vain person, he gave it a fierce pluck. He envied Alex’s premature silver locks. By some quirk of fate, he had been spared the coarse texture that often accompanied the change in color. The nerve endings in his fingertips skittered at the memory of its softness.
A soft knock broke through his reverie. “Come in.” The door inched open like always when this particular patient arrived.
“Justin! Glad you could make the appointment. Laura mentioned there was a problem with your schedule.”
“Yeah, things were a little hectic this week, and I wasn't sure if I could keep it.”
“No problem! Please, have a seat. Want anything?”
“Sanity and a clear conscience would be nice.”
A throaty chuckle bubbled up at the remark. For someone who had experienced more than his share of suffering, there was something beguiling about this tortured young man. After their first session, he had made discreet inquiries to fill in the blanks. He contacted various trusted sources, including Alex who, over dinner and a bottle of Barolo at their favorite Italian restaurant, provided a wealth of knowledge.
* * *
“I really am sorry for throwing this on you, Warren, but I’m not the right one to
handle it.”
“So you automatically thought of me? How considerate, Dr.Wilder. Remind me
to repay the favor sometime.” He shivered as they left the restaurant and pulled
his coat tighter against the chill. Winter was making itself known with a vengeance
this season. Right. Who was he kidding? The frisson through his body had nothing
to do with the weather.
“Hey, that’s what friends are for.”
“Well, I’d better get going. I want to write notes before I forget. Not that I’ll remember
everything. There's enough to fill a fucking medical journal about the two of them.”
Alex grinned as he opened his car door. “If anyone can help, you can. Great seeing
you again, Warren. Stay in touch, okay?”
“Good to see you, too. Yeah, yeah I will. And seriously, thanks.”
“You have your work cut out for you. If you need more information, let me know.”
* * *
He smiled at Justin. “Well, you’re obviously in the right place for sanity. At least, I hope so.”
“You have helped, and I do feel better in general, but nothing's changed. He’s still hardly ever home. And when he is, he isn't. He's either on the computer or he ignores me. He's shutting me out, and if I say anything, we wind up in an argument.”
“These situations don’t resolve themselves over night because they didn"t happen overnight. When you throw in Brian's professional stress, it will take even longer. You do understand, don’t you?”
“Sure. But I hoped it would be better by now.”
“It takes time. We’ve discussed this and also how some of the problems are a result of the difference in your ages.” The issue was a thorny subject and he rushed to add, “That’s not a bad thing and it's not an insurmountable obstacle, but it does cause both of you to occasionally view or experience certain situations through different lenses.”
“Warren, I could show you-”
“Yes, I know. You’ve mentioned your SAT scores on more than one occasion,” he teased. “But there’s a difference between book smart and life smart and in your case, age is a contributing factor, whether or not you want to admit it.”
“I get it intellectually, but I have a problem accepting it emotionally.”
“Why?”
“I, I don't know. I...I just do. It’s-”
“What? How does it make you feel?”
Justin gave one of the sofa cushions a vicious punch.“It makes me feel young, too young to keep him.”
“Well, you are young.”
“Thanks for the newsflash. But see, it’s hard enough being with him without the whole age and life experience shit. I can’t help but think-”
“Yes?” Christ, this kid should be enjoying life, not sitting in this office with such sadness, on the verge of tears.
Words shot out like rapid fire bullets. “I can’t help but think that one day a sanity-sucking leech will attach itself to his brain and convince him that I'm not what he wants after all, that we have nothing in common only because of the age difference, and he'll wonder why the fuck he stayed with me for so long. It scares me, Warren. It fucking terrifies me! It would be so like him to end everything because he found a fucking gray hair-”
He winced at the comment. Ouch.Neuroses have a way of haunting you.
“-or some crock of shit about not wanting to hold me back from 'experiencing life.' ”
“You’re still young. There’s so much you have to know.
There’s so much you have to go through. Look at me, I am old.” ©C.Stevens
“Let me ask you something, Justin. What if Brian weren’t in the picture at all?”
Continue to Ch.12B here: http://kinfic2.livejournal.com/17254.html
deasireastar on November 30th, 2008 11:50 pm (local)
I really love this story. Poor Justin! He is so torn. Please update again soon. "Let me ask you something, Justin, and think carefully before you answer. What if Brian weren’t in the picture, in your life, at all?” I can't wait to see how Justin answers.
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kinwad on December 1st, 2008 04:50 pm (local)
*g* Thank you so much for your lovely comment. i'm so glad you're enjoying the fic! That seems to be the $64,000 question, doesn't it?
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starlightbj on December 1st, 2008 04:58 am (local)
Oooh good question Warren... OMG I adore Cat Stevens!!! ♥
The words tumbled out as if he couldn’t say them fast enough, rapid fire bullets of emotion desperately trying to push their way to the surface in the hope of stopping the pain. Aww great paragraph. Great chapter. Love Warren and Alex - the heat in Alex's touch :D Can't wait to read more of Justin's session.
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kinwad on December 1st, 2008 04:52 pm (local)
Cat Stevens totally rocked! *g* Thank you, sweetie for your very kind feedback. *g* Yeah, Warren and Alex would definitely make a good pair!
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spike7451 on December 1st, 2008 10:28 am (local)
I actually have tears in my eyes. This chapter moved me so much. B/J are breaking my heart. I still hold out hope for a Warren/Alex reunion you know. LOL!
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kinwad on December 1st, 2008 04:55 pm (local)
Aw, you're so very kind! I'm so happy it made you feel. Thanks so much for continuing to read this. I really appreciate it. Warren & Alex...LOL...a few people have mentioned that!
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lucsmom on December 1st, 2008 04:29 pm (local)
I was pretty sure Justin was the patient, but you had me second-guessing myself. Brian and Justin are the same age emotionally, but their life experiences do make them different. I really think part of what appeals to Brian about Justin is his outlook on life. Had Brian had a better childhood and loving parents then he'd be more like Justin. I couldn't imagine Brian being with someone like himself. He needed someone like Justin to teach him how to love. That last quesion is a big one. I'm really curious to see how Justin answers it.
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kinwad on December 1st, 2008 04:56 pm (local)
I agree w/you about B&J. You're absolutely correct. *g* That last question certainly is a doozy! Thanks, Kim, so much for reading and commenting. I really appreciate it.
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venta_lilye on December 1st, 2008 10:08 pm (local)
I'd really like to hear Justin's answer to the last question. For some reason I think that he can't really imagine hislife without Brian in it - for better or for worse. Thank you for the update!
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kinwad on December 1st, 2008 11:54 pm (local)
It will be interesting to see what he says, that's for sure! I'm so glad you enjoyed it. Thanks so much for reading and all of your comments. You've been great!
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randysgirl_645 on December 1st, 2008 11:38 pm (local)
great update :)
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kinwad on December 1st, 2008 11:54 pm (local)
*g* Thanks, hon!
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snowmore on December 6th, 2008 11:53 am (local)
While both Brian and Justin need someone to talk to, I'm glad it's Jusin. I think with Justin being less jaded than Brian, he is more open to listening and thinking. I like Warren and Alex, too. :)
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kinwad on December 6th, 2008 06:32 pm (local)
*Justin being less jaded than Brian* LOL..Is that ever an understatement, to say the least! You're right. They both need someone to talk to! Thanks so much, Robin, for taking the time to read and comment, especially during this busy time of the year.