Greatest survey in recent memory. Stolen from kissmisskate
1. Would you rather kill a puppy with your bare hands or make out with your father?
Sorry puppy. No way I'm gonna make out with my dad. Not enough drugs in the world for that.
2. What would be worse for the world: One giant (approx. 30 feet tall), cybernetic Hitler, or if all food screamed when you ate it.
Oh, totally the giant robot Nazi. That robot would be scrap metal inside a month, but the screaming food would go on and on.
3. Zombies become a very harsh reality. Sensing the ethical code society has instilled in you slipping away, you decide to start killing everything that moves with what weapon?
.50 Cal M2 HB machine gun. That thing is badass my friends.
4. When charging into battle, your war cry is?
"This is for Pearl Harbor!!!"
5. A temporal rift has opened up while you were in the bathroom and sucked you into the distant, distant past. Where do you pray to fucking God that you don't end up?
The Americas. There's not even a hint of civilization here back then, and no way to even get to it. Also I hope that I don't end up too far from a leafy plant. TP is good.
6. Ninjas vs. Pirates: Who wins? Defend your answer.
Pirates. They are some tough sea-going motherfuckers. And they have cannons, and pistols. Ninjas don't have the numbers to take on the Pirates. I mean, yeah, a lot more pirates would be dead than ninjas, but high body counts never stopped pirates before. Plus the ninjas couldn't really handle the rough seas, and the swing rope attacks plus the rocking of the ship would put them at a serious disadvantage.
7. It's your wedding day. However, the night before ants crawled into your head and drove you insane.what song is stuck in your head?
"Grand Theft Autumn" by Fall Out Boy
8. You're driving around and you see an Asian dude on a Kawasaki Ninja motorcycle with a sword strapped to his back. The first thought that comes to your mind is:
I should get in a Suzuki Samurai and challenge him to a high-speed automotive sword weilding duel to the death.
9. The Battle: A Pit Bull vs. A Pit Bull's body weight in ill-tempered weasels.
How ill-tempered are the weasels? Are we talking weasels coming off a three-day meth binge all hopped up on PCP? Cuz then I'll go with the weasels. Otherwise, the pitbull wins.
10. A serious Dance-Dance Revolution accident leaves you with special powers. Unfortunately the powers aren't all that super. It seems that all you can do is:
Follow visual instructions of incredible complexity at blinding speeds.
11. What alcohol do you drink when you absolutely want the whole world to know how much you hate everyone?
Vodka. Or cheap beer
12. You have sinned grossly against God and your country. Your punishment is to be eaten alive by one of God's creatures. Luckily, you get to pick what creature that is:
A massive school of pirhanas. They'd get the job done really fast.
13. In your most humble opinion, what do you feel is the most vile and savage swearword you can spew forth unto another person:
I'm agreeing with Kate here: Republican. Cockjuggling Cumdumpster, if you aren't offended by being called a satanic minion of evil and death.
14. You get to change the name of the state you are living in. You choose:
Dampsylvania
15. Which animal would totally eat you if it could?
Chickens. They want revenge.
16. Sexiest number between 1 and 10:
8
17. You are carrying your drink back from the bar when you accidentally run into this girl, spilling your drink on her. She's being a total bitch about it but, c'mon, it was totally just an accident. Her boyfriend subsequently challenges you to fisticuffs. Name two friends you'd want on your side in a fight:
Chance and Matty. They're on opposite sides of the country, but if I had to pick just two, they're it.
18. If you could, what historical figure would you totally like to peg in the junk with a brick? Don't say Hitler, you uncreative fuck:
Reagan. Ohh... that dirty little republican money-wasting sheep-fucking war-mongering little bitch.
19. What would it cost to make you willingly and knowingly contract pubic lice?
About 15 grand. Honestly I'd probably do it for $5000. Fuck, no I'm still lying. Them shits are curable for the price of a new Mach3 razor and a special shampoo. I'll do it for $1500.
20. Think of the grossest name a strip club could possibly have:
Over the hill and down to the belt.
Sorry puppy. No way I'm gonna make out with my dad. Not enough drugs in the world for that.
2. What would be worse for the world: One giant (approx. 30 feet tall), cybernetic Hitler, or if all food screamed when you ate it.
Oh, totally the giant robot Nazi. That robot would be scrap metal inside a month, but the screaming food would go on and on.
3. Zombies become a very harsh reality. Sensing the ethical code society has instilled in you slipping away, you decide to start killing everything that moves with what weapon?
.50 Cal M2 HB machine gun. That thing is badass my friends.
4. When charging into battle, your war cry is?
"This is for Pearl Harbor!!!"
5. A temporal rift has opened up while you were in the bathroom and sucked you into the distant, distant past. Where do you pray to fucking God that you don't end up?
The Americas. There's not even a hint of civilization here back then, and no way to even get to it. Also I hope that I don't end up too far from a leafy plant. TP is good.
6. Ninjas vs. Pirates: Who wins? Defend your answer.
Pirates. They are some tough sea-going motherfuckers. And they have cannons, and pistols. Ninjas don't have the numbers to take on the Pirates. I mean, yeah, a lot more pirates would be dead than ninjas, but high body counts never stopped pirates before. Plus the ninjas couldn't really handle the rough seas, and the swing rope attacks plus the rocking of the ship would put them at a serious disadvantage.
7. It's your wedding day. However, the night before ants crawled into your head and drove you insane.what song is stuck in your head?
"Grand Theft Autumn" by Fall Out Boy
8. You're driving around and you see an Asian dude on a Kawasaki Ninja motorcycle with a sword strapped to his back. The first thought that comes to your mind is:
I should get in a Suzuki Samurai and challenge him to a high-speed automotive sword weilding duel to the death.
9. The Battle: A Pit Bull vs. A Pit Bull's body weight in ill-tempered weasels.
How ill-tempered are the weasels? Are we talking weasels coming off a three-day meth binge all hopped up on PCP? Cuz then I'll go with the weasels. Otherwise, the pitbull wins.
10. A serious Dance-Dance Revolution accident leaves you with special powers. Unfortunately the powers aren't all that super. It seems that all you can do is:
Follow visual instructions of incredible complexity at blinding speeds.
11. What alcohol do you drink when you absolutely want the whole world to know how much you hate everyone?
Vodka. Or cheap beer
12. You have sinned grossly against God and your country. Your punishment is to be eaten alive by one of God's creatures. Luckily, you get to pick what creature that is:
A massive school of pirhanas. They'd get the job done really fast.
13. In your most humble opinion, what do you feel is the most vile and savage swearword you can spew forth unto another person:
I'm agreeing with Kate here: Republican. Cockjuggling Cumdumpster, if you aren't offended by being called a satanic minion of evil and death.
14. You get to change the name of the state you are living in. You choose:
Dampsylvania
15. Which animal would totally eat you if it could?
Chickens. They want revenge.
16. Sexiest number between 1 and 10:
8
17. You are carrying your drink back from the bar when you accidentally run into this girl, spilling your drink on her. She's being a total bitch about it but, c'mon, it was totally just an accident. Her boyfriend subsequently challenges you to fisticuffs. Name two friends you'd want on your side in a fight:
Chance and Matty. They're on opposite sides of the country, but if I had to pick just two, they're it.
18. If you could, what historical figure would you totally like to peg in the junk with a brick? Don't say Hitler, you uncreative fuck:
Reagan. Ohh... that dirty little republican money-wasting sheep-fucking war-mongering little bitch.
19. What would it cost to make you willingly and knowingly contract pubic lice?
About 15 grand. Honestly I'd probably do it for $5000. Fuck, no I'm still lying. Them shits are curable for the price of a new Mach3 razor and a special shampoo. I'll do it for $1500.
20. Think of the grossest name a strip club could possibly have:
Over the hill and down to the belt.