Happy Easter
I'd like to wish everyone a Happy Easter, and hope that you're break was/will be good. Frankly I've never had a worse "break" in terms of the ammount of stress in my life. I'm just glad to see that most of my friends are living life to the fullest, and if its not the greatest yet, its nothing new, but jsut old issues still being dealt with.
Headache, Hell, and Tears.
That has been my motto for this last week as it described everything that I was going through day in and day out. Even as I type this post, my head is throbbing, my tear ducts are trying to get going, and I'm readying my soul to face Hell for yet another night and day.
So many people act so dramatic about so many things that are pointless, and I, of course, have in the past. But this is different. Anyone that doesn't understand that, needs to learn who I am. If you think you know what I'm dealing with and saying "its no big deal," then you need to open your eyes.
To be honest, I think that my grip is slipping from the edge of the cliff I've been holding onto for so many years. Not to suicide or anything equally as pathetic, but insanity or something like that.
(And there will be those of you who will scoff and laugh. Yet I don't care. I know what has happened to me this week. It may not be the worst day in any case that I've ever had, but its the worst combination of events so far that I can remember. Worse yet... things just seem to keep on coming. I've had two or three days rest this entire week, and even then I constantly thought of things.)
Since about Sixth Grade, the only thing I've done is give. When I take, its reluctantly and I usually feel guilty, but I still give. I always give. Give Give Give. That is my credo, that is my soul's way of interaction with other souls, yet I can't seem to ever take. Even more, as much as I believe in the balance of life, and of Karma and of all those sort of things... as much as I give, I never get the few things in Life that I do want. No matter what anyone says...
The main thing I'll always want. The main thing that I'll always love in my life.
Is.
Amber.
Ann.
Timm...
(It hurts so much thinking all that after having heard so many things over this last week. Including... well I won't say it here, but I think I may have to post it privately for my own benefit, maybe protected...)
Headache, Hell, and Tears.
That has been my motto for this last week as it described everything that I was going through day in and day out. Even as I type this post, my head is throbbing, my tear ducts are trying to get going, and I'm readying my soul to face Hell for yet another night and day.
So many people act so dramatic about so many things that are pointless, and I, of course, have in the past. But this is different. Anyone that doesn't understand that, needs to learn who I am. If you think you know what I'm dealing with and saying "its no big deal," then you need to open your eyes.
To be honest, I think that my grip is slipping from the edge of the cliff I've been holding onto for so many years. Not to suicide or anything equally as pathetic, but insanity or something like that.
(And there will be those of you who will scoff and laugh. Yet I don't care. I know what has happened to me this week. It may not be the worst day in any case that I've ever had, but its the worst combination of events so far that I can remember. Worse yet... things just seem to keep on coming. I've had two or three days rest this entire week, and even then I constantly thought of things.)
Since about Sixth Grade, the only thing I've done is give. When I take, its reluctantly and I usually feel guilty, but I still give. I always give. Give Give Give. That is my credo, that is my soul's way of interaction with other souls, yet I can't seem to ever take. Even more, as much as I believe in the balance of life, and of Karma and of all those sort of things... as much as I give, I never get the few things in Life that I do want. No matter what anyone says...
The main thing I'll always want. The main thing that I'll always love in my life.
Is.
Amber.
Ann.
Timm...
(It hurts so much thinking all that after having heard so many things over this last week. Including... well I won't say it here, but I think I may have to post it privately for my own benefit, maybe protected...)