Dream
I once dreamed I was at my grandparents vacation place--they rented a place on a lake for two weeks every summer, friends owned it. The dream was that one night I floated out the window in the middle of the night and walked away, along the shore of the lake. There had been some yelling on the family, and it was really awful, so I think I was taking a mental vacation. It was really nasty and may have continued or restarted as I slept.
So I wanted to get out of there in the worst way. Over the years sometimes I had the dream where I must have decided to walk home, like I'd gone far enough and was tired, wanted to go back if the coast was clear.
It usually seemed to be night in the dream, as it was when I had originally floated out the window, through the glass.
The last time I had the dream of walking home in the dark, along the shore back to the cabin, it seems like yesterday. But I'm guessing it was fifteen years ago.
It was very dark, though the moon must have been out because you could see very dimly. I walked along the beach, which was getting narrower.
Then I reached a place where the woods came all the way to the shore, and the undergrowth and the darkness were so thick I had to step out on a large rock that was close to shore, just close enough for me to jump on.
I walked a way on the rock, but came to more water. I edged out as far as I could and saw a corner of broken pavement sticking up, close enough to use it as a stepping stone. So I went forward again.
It could hear something from above me saying, this is how you are going get home, there will be a stepping stone or piece of rubble each time you really need it. Or a solution to the problem you are in.
My dad walked out a few years later, a temporary relief. My mom didn't know how to get by very well, and had no one to really help her.
Her dad was another source of big problems, even though he seemed like a nice guy, he could be hard hearted and stupid and do the worst thing thinking he was helping. He was rather judgemental, too. My grandma was just helpless and not healthy, she didn't know much either.
Anyway, I was glad to have the dream, it was helpful to me. I barely got by for a long time.
It's funny because that's what everyone says, that you take things one day at a time, but it wasn't that way for me a lot of the time.
I used to have other dreams about the shore, but it was daytime. I finally figured out it was a pun, on shore was UNSURE, and vacation was VOCATION. The dreams where I was going along shore were about me being unsure of my vocation.
Never knew what I wanted to do. I do want to design and create, and make something with my hands.
…..............…
In other news,
I went shopping yesterday. Normally I just go to the dollar store or Target, that's about it. I am fine with being home a lot, as long as I have internet.
Well, I did go to Target, been a few weeks. I bought a wall clock, it was just a round piece of unfinished wood, with a battery run mechanism and the hands. Three bucks, on final sale.
Otherwise I would not have bothered. I just had one of their lamps go south on me, after about a month of using it. I would take it back, but it sat on a shelf unused for at least six months, and I don't know what I did with the receipt. [I forgot to say, the clock is LOUD! I think I have to buy a new mechanism to change it to one with continuous motion, rather than a ticket.im wondering now if this is prophetic, a clock loudly ticking, reminding me of something!)
It was made in China, and about ten bucks. I was even tempted to buy a similar one, but was getting a full cart. At least this time I would have a receipt. There are just not a lot of places I can walk to, or take a bus. I mean, it's not that much of a problem, but if the new thing peters out like the other one, well I guess I would just feel stupid. But come to think of it I don't know why.
I didn't do anything to it, or drop it. Whoo, inferiority complex. Go away creepy mental attitude.
Edit: I also went to Michaels, got some glue sticks, I guess I haven't had enough of mindless fun. Also, a message board, one of those things where you pin the letters on with inspirational messages. TBH, most of the time I think the current text art fad is just awful. But I always liked the lettering style, and it does seem like fun.
There are just not enough letters in the set for me. It was a cheap thing, so possibly the best way to get more would be to buy a second board with the accompanying letters. I don't but it though. I got a couple other trifling things, and got in home.
I'm thinking, Coffee before Talkies. But something like the voice in my dream said, Remember to Breathe.
So I wanted to get out of there in the worst way. Over the years sometimes I had the dream where I must have decided to walk home, like I'd gone far enough and was tired, wanted to go back if the coast was clear.
It usually seemed to be night in the dream, as it was when I had originally floated out the window, through the glass.
The last time I had the dream of walking home in the dark, along the shore back to the cabin, it seems like yesterday. But I'm guessing it was fifteen years ago.
It was very dark, though the moon must have been out because you could see very dimly. I walked along the beach, which was getting narrower.
Then I reached a place where the woods came all the way to the shore, and the undergrowth and the darkness were so thick I had to step out on a large rock that was close to shore, just close enough for me to jump on.
I walked a way on the rock, but came to more water. I edged out as far as I could and saw a corner of broken pavement sticking up, close enough to use it as a stepping stone. So I went forward again.
It could hear something from above me saying, this is how you are going get home, there will be a stepping stone or piece of rubble each time you really need it. Or a solution to the problem you are in.
My dad walked out a few years later, a temporary relief. My mom didn't know how to get by very well, and had no one to really help her.
Her dad was another source of big problems, even though he seemed like a nice guy, he could be hard hearted and stupid and do the worst thing thinking he was helping. He was rather judgemental, too. My grandma was just helpless and not healthy, she didn't know much either.
Anyway, I was glad to have the dream, it was helpful to me. I barely got by for a long time.
It's funny because that's what everyone says, that you take things one day at a time, but it wasn't that way for me a lot of the time.
I used to have other dreams about the shore, but it was daytime. I finally figured out it was a pun, on shore was UNSURE, and vacation was VOCATION. The dreams where I was going along shore were about me being unsure of my vocation.
Never knew what I wanted to do. I do want to design and create, and make something with my hands.
…..............…
In other news,
I went shopping yesterday. Normally I just go to the dollar store or Target, that's about it. I am fine with being home a lot, as long as I have internet.
Well, I did go to Target, been a few weeks. I bought a wall clock, it was just a round piece of unfinished wood, with a battery run mechanism and the hands. Three bucks, on final sale.
Otherwise I would not have bothered. I just had one of their lamps go south on me, after about a month of using it. I would take it back, but it sat on a shelf unused for at least six months, and I don't know what I did with the receipt. [I forgot to say, the clock is LOUD! I think I have to buy a new mechanism to change it to one with continuous motion, rather than a ticket.im wondering now if this is prophetic, a clock loudly ticking, reminding me of something!)
It was made in China, and about ten bucks. I was even tempted to buy a similar one, but was getting a full cart. At least this time I would have a receipt. There are just not a lot of places I can walk to, or take a bus. I mean, it's not that much of a problem, but if the new thing peters out like the other one, well I guess I would just feel stupid. But come to think of it I don't know why.
I didn't do anything to it, or drop it. Whoo, inferiority complex. Go away creepy mental attitude.
Edit: I also went to Michaels, got some glue sticks, I guess I haven't had enough of mindless fun. Also, a message board, one of those things where you pin the letters on with inspirational messages. TBH, most of the time I think the current text art fad is just awful. But I always liked the lettering style, and it does seem like fun.
There are just not enough letters in the set for me. It was a cheap thing, so possibly the best way to get more would be to buy a second board with the accompanying letters. I don't but it though. I got a couple other trifling things, and got in home.
I'm thinking, Coffee before Talkies. But something like the voice in my dream said, Remember to Breathe.