Now and Then - Part 2
Read part one here.
When Jun wakes up he’s greeted with a ‘friendly’ reminder of the past. Feeling caught, he quickly pulls his hand back out of his pants and checks on Sho. Luckily, he’s still sound asleep and snoring as if his life depended on it.
Jun allows himself two seconds to marvel at the sight of Sho’s peaceful face, the slight stubble growing on his chin and morning hair sticking out in every direction - not to mention his bare chest rising and falling with every snore he’s taking.
Maybe it’s more like ten or twenty seconds before he forces his mind away from the sight he could admittedly get used to waking up to. Jun is sticky and his pyjama bottoms stained, and he sure as hell doesn’t want to let Sho see him like this.
As quietly as he can, he wiggles out of the blanket and off the bed to just grab some clothes without really looking if they match, and makes a bee-line for the bathroom.
This hasn’t happened in a long time and, to be perfectly honest, he could have done without it. Deciding it would be best to take a cold shower instead of a warm one, he turns the water on and quickly steps out of his stained pyjamas - he can decide later whether to hand them to the hotel’s cleaning service or to better store them in a plastic bag and hide it in his suitcase. Either way - Sho will never find out about any of it.
With a sigh, Jun steps under the shower, gasping when the cold water hits his flushed skin. “Fuuuuck!” A few more moments pass until he decides that this has to do and adjusts the temperature a little. He’s awake now, that much is for sure.
From the room he can hear Sho’s alarm going off even over the running water - and laughs despite himself as the swearing starts. He makes out something that sounds a lot like a tirade on the unreliability of yukata in general and Sho’s ‘dislike’ for that kind of clothing. Just to put it mildly - but it is enough to help Jun chuckle and ease up a little.
Once he feels clean again, he turns off the water and steps out of the shower, quickly shaves before using all his products. He doesn’t take as much time as he’d like to but Sho probably would like to use the bathroom as well, so Jun hurries up a little.
Getting dressed, he’s genuinely surprised that his clothes match - washed out jeans, rosé sweater, can’t go wrong with that - then he wraps his pyjama bottoms in a towel and leaves the bathroom.
“I’m truly sorry if I’ve molested you,” is the first thing he hears from his friend who has readjusted his yukata.
It’s a good thing he’s facing away from Sho as he’s packing away the pyjama bottoms never to be seen again. Jun has to tell his heart to stop racing and needs a couple of moments to set his face in a more neutral and less caught expression. When he’s sure he’s back in control, he turns to his friend, a slight frown on his face. “Why would you be molesting me?”
“In that case, thank you for not noticing. Stupid thing had a mind of its own.” Pointing to his garment, Sho rolls his eyes and exhales heavily. “Nevermind.”
“Well, that’s hardly your fault, is it? If you really feel like apologizing, then how about that snoring of yours? Seriously Sakurai, you sound like an old man at night. Not very becoming,” feeling it’s safer to tease, Jun quickly changes the topic and is relieved when Sho bursts into laughter.
He looks incredibly cute as he scratches his head in embarrassment - making his messy hair even messier. “I’m sorry - but you did get some sleep, right?” There is a hint of hopefulness and caring in his brown eyes that gives Jun stupid butterflies in his stomach and he hates himself for it.
“I did. Barely,” he nods, trying to keep it together, but his mind is wandering back to the night all of its own. So much for changing topic. He’s busying himself with his cell, checking for the time and new mails instead of looking at Sho.
“How about I’ll get you some extra strong coffee to make up for it?” It seems like a genuine apology but that only heightens Jun’s awareness of Sho’s presence.
“How about you hit the shower first? I’ll get your stuff in the meantime and then you can get me that extra strong coffee.”
“Sounds like a good plan.” Sho agrees and, after a short pause, he adds “MatsuJun, you’re the best.”
“I know…”
He feels relief wash over him once he’s left the room and able to put at least some physical distance between the two of them. At any rate he’ll have the room to himself again once the day is over - making things a little easier again.
His life wouldn’t be such a mess if he only felt attracted to his colleague. Attraction’s something you can get over - or so he believes. There’s enough distraction to keep his mind off things - even if he allows himself a fantasy every now and then, but rather when he’s alone. Who could blame him, Sho is a good-looking guy.
But he genuinely likes him and that’s where things get complicated - a feeling he has unsuccessfully been trying to shake off for the past years. Things have gone worse ever since he’s found out about Sho’s preferences - making the impossible possible all of a sudden.
Still - possible doesn’t mean probable. Neither of them has made a move at the other in all those years, though. And Jun can’t shake the feeling that if Sho likes him more than just as a friend, then he would have. Or would he? Jun hasn’t. And there are those moments like earlier when his colleague would look at him and…
It would have been a lot easier, too, if Sho were an ass. Jun could get over him a lot better, even over the knowledge that he might have a shot, if his friend weren’t such a genuinely nice person. Sure, Sho still has a flaring temper sometimes, but they are long past the stage where he’s throwing bags at people.
As things are, Jun will never find out. He’s never come out to his friend - neither about what has happened at the club, nor about the way he feels. A confession would put too much at risk - and Jun wouldn’t know what to say in the very first place. He knows what he feels but not how to put it. How to make Sho understand. Besides, he’s always been better with actions than with words.
And that’s when it hits him, when an idea starts forming in his head. It’s so stupid, it might even work - or at least he’d know for sure. With a stupid grin on his face, he pulls out his cellphone to make some calls.
~*~
„Sorry, but this has to be a bad joke...“ Sho is fuming as he slams the door shut. “Someone really fucked up, I mean… really? How likely is it they lose my reservation twice? One time, okay - even though this has never happened before, but two times? Seriously?”
Letting his suitcase fall to the floor, he stomps into the room. Jun understands where the frustration’s coming from. If he didn’t know what he knows, oh well… he’d probably give the staff some piece of his mind. And he’s not the one with the famous temper.
“I told you, it’s no trouble when you stay here for another night, really. Please don’t worry about that, okay?” Jun’s already by the sofa, opening his suitcase, and tries to figure out what to say to calm Sho down a little. He might no longer be throwing duffle bags around, but his friend can still get pretty angry.
“I... thank you, I really appreciate it. But that’s not the point. The point is, that this is… unheard of. Sorry, but this is just unacceptable. It is their job to make sure the booking runs smoothly - plus, it really isn’t too much to ask for to get all of us a room for the night, right?”
Feeling a little uncomfortable, Jun’s nervously chewing his lip and his eyes follow Sho while listening to his rants. He’s right - although he isn’t. In a way. Sho’s always doing his best, working hard and constantly pushing himself. So it is no wonder he expects the same from everyone else. Jun gets that. He’s no friend of half-assed work ethics either.
Although, the hotel staff hasn’t screwed up the booking this time - but Jun is no longer sure if it really was such a good idea to make the call this morning. Going on with the way things are is… well, probably not madness but it isn’t healthy either. He’s tried to get rid of all these ‘inappropriate’ feelings over and over again - and if almost 15 years didn’t do the trick…
No. He needs an answer. Yes, no - it doesn’t really matter. Of course, Jun’s keeping his fingers crossed for a yes but basically, he just needs an answer, just needs to hear it out of Sho’s mouth so he can either finally close this chapter or open a new one.
“You know what? I’m making the call now. I’d really like to hear an explanation. Actually, I should have made it yesterday.”
But first, he needs to keep Sho from raising hell at the jimusho or at the hotel. “You should at least calm down before calling them, don’t you think?”
Sho stops pacing up and down and looks at Jun as if he’s suddenly grown a second head - but eventually, he sighs and shrugs his shoulders. “Yeah… you’re probably right.”
Luckily, Sho’s temper tends to fade as quickly as it’s up to ninety. Plus, the years have knocked some sense into that stubborn head of his.
A close call.
Watching Sho put his cellphone back into his pocket, Jun exhales slowly. It is only then he realizes he’s been holding his breath the entire time.
Maybe he should just spill the beans and come clear before Sho changes his mind again and calls management - he’d better hear it from Jun than from anyone else, giving him some time to explain.
Making Sho share a room with him again seems a pretty lousy ‘plan’ in retrospect, especially as he still hasn’t made his move yet. It’s just… there’s no turning back after that. Once the words are out, they are out and Jun really cherishes that the two of them are not only colleagues but friends. Maybe not as close as they used to be, but…
… but as long as there’s even the slightest chance it could be more, as long as Jun doesn’t know for sure, it’ll never be enough. He just needs to know and sometimes, well, sometimes you need to risk something to get somewhere.
Okay. Okay, okay, okay - now or never. Gathering all his courage, Jun turns around and slowly starts unbuttoning his shirt, clearing his throat to get Sho’s attention. His colleague looks up, frowns, and turns back to unpack again.
Okay…
Subtle won’t do here - it’s amazing how daft Sho can be with his college degree, but then again, Jun hasn’t done much yet to have his alarms go off. So he steps closer, clearing his throat again, louder this time and catches Sho’s eye first before he slowly circles the fourth ivory button and undoes it. His heart is racing, palms going sweaty, but Jun does his best to not let any of it show - instead, he’s giving Sho his best seductive smile, taking yet another step in the other’s direction.
“Are you okay? You look a little funny?” Sho’s eyes are darting from Jun’s face to his hands, back to his face before seeming to settle for his hands again, not sure what’s happening.
Eyes glued to every little move the other man makes and heart hammering in his chest, Jun forces himself to take his time opening all of the buttons of his shirt, one after the other. “Never been better,” he lets his voice drop into a deeper timbre.
It’s different from ripping his shirt open on stage. Every movement is so exaggerated, so stylized, choreographed and, above all, expected. This is nothing like it. This is real, slow and Jun has no clue how Sho will react to it. Of course, he has a very good idea of what kind of reaction he’s hoping for - but this is new unfamiliar ground.
“You sure?”
Unable to resist a smile at the uncertain-confused tone in Sho’s voice, Jun slowly traces his finger across his lips and then places it right between his collarbones. “Mhmmmm.” He’s got Sho’s attention now, that much is for sure. “Don’t you like what you see?” In small circles, he’s tracing his finger down, his eyes never leaving Sho’s face.
“I’m not even sure what I’m seeing…”
To be completely honest, he is a bit disappointed at the reaction he’s getting - even though he knows this is Sho. “Maybe you just have to look harder,” he can’t help but suggest. He can feel his fingers trembling but wills them to go on at a steady pace. Further down, circling his bellybutton.
At least Sho hasn’t yelled at him or - worse - laughed. Hasn’t told him off, but is still watching, swallowing hard. Seems like his mind is slowly catching up to what is happening.
“I see what you’re doing, but what are you doing?”
Maybe he should just stop. This is clearly not the reaction Jun was hoping for and it’s really hard to keep going when you’re losing confidence. But he’s not quite ready to give up just yet.
“Take a wild guess.”
A smirk is spreading on his face as Sho’s eyes go wider in surprise when Jun’s finger leaves his navel to wander further south, gently tracing the waistband of his washed-out jeans. He’s still nervous as hell, unsure if this really was a good idea - but the dark look in Sho’s eyes gives him some reassurance.
Although it means breaking eye contact, Jun lets his head fall back, showing Sho the long line of his throat while he carefully rolls his right shoulder, making his shirt slip, thus exposing more of his skin.
Technically, Sho still hasn’t replied yet, but Jun generously takes the nervous cough for an answer as he mirrors his previous movement with his left shoulder.
Jun still won’t look, afraid of what he’ll find, heart hammering in his chest - at the same time turned on by what he knows and can clearly picture he would like to find, and shaking with fear at making a complete fool of himself. There are goosebumps chasing down his spine and his fingers are positively shaking as they start pulling his belt from its buckle.
He hasn’t told him to stop - that’s the straw Jun’s holding on to. Sho still hasn’t told him to stop and that has to account at least for something, right?
While Jun can’t see, he concentrates hard on what he can hear - Sho’s sharp intake of breath, his uncomfortable shifting while not moving away, apparently still not sure what he’s supposed to do. Well, Jun isn’t entirely sure either, so that makes two of them.
With a final tug, his belt comes loose - Jun’s cue to look up again to meet Sho’s eyes fixed on him, burning. He can still spot traces of doubt but this emotion is quickly clouded by something else. Lust, arousal, for sure… curiosity, yes.
“You’re for real, aren’t you?” Sho’s voice is deeper, slightly rough on the edge of hoarse but Jun doesn’t mind, on the contrary.
With a reassuring smile curling around his lips, Jun lets his belt fall to the ground, his fingers playfully moving to the first button of his jeans. “What does it look like?”
“And you have thought this through?” One final question Jun decides to answer by straitening his arms to have his shirt slowly sliding off with only a soft rustle as it lands on top of the belt.
The next thing he registers are Sho’s lips against his own, soft, shy - so very different from what he’s pictured again and again after his little revelation in the men’s room. So very, very different and a million times better.
Yet Jun’s still keeping his hands to himself. This wonderful, mind-blowing kiss is more of an answer than he hoped for and he doesn’t trust they won’t give away just how nervous he has been and still is. Their lips are the only point their bodies are touching, instead, a lot more chaste than he would have expected this to go. Although his hope is that this is far from the end…
The tip of his tongue is darting out and brushing Sho’s lips probingly. Sho replies by slightly parting them, granting Jun entrance while Jun feels the other’s hand curving around his jaw, thumb brushing over his cheek.
Happily, he leans more into the kiss, carefully moving forward, exploring, enjoying. There’s this slight tingle when the tips of their tongues meet for the first time, sending pleasant shivers down Jun’s spine.
‘Sho.’ The name won’t quite form but finds its way into his friend’s mouth as a sigh. The echo in his mind is deafening, though. Happily so. All he can think of right now is Sho - and how he wants to feel him. The warm hand cupping his cheek feels like such a sweet promise, but Jun is greedy, wants it all now; he has been waiting and hesitating and pining way too long.
His hands find his way around Sho’s waist, pulling him closer until their lips aren’t the only parts touching. Sho’s body heat feels good against his bare skin, even when it’s only through layers of fabric, Jun decides while he deepens the kiss, tilting his head slightly for a better angle.
Delicate fingers dance over his back as Sho’s other hand moves further, finding their way to Jun’s neck and further up, locking in his hair, gently pulling to break the kiss to gasp for air - only to kiss him again, less sweet this time, but still far from rough.
That’s when Jun gets more daring. He is impatient now that he’s taken the plunge and not been rejected so far. Almost of their own accord, his fingers slip underneath all the fabric, running up and down Sho’s sides, tracing his broad chest, before making short work of his shirt and just pulling it over his head roughly.
It means breaking their kiss and Jun wonders if it’s possible a tongue can feel lonely. He can hear Sho chuckle but doesn’t have enough time to worry if the other man has changed his mind - Sho’s full lips have already found his throat and start placing a trail of butterfly kisses all the way down to his shoulder while Jun’s still trying to get Sho’s stupid shirt off the other’s wrist.
Eventually, he decides to just leave it there as all his pulling remains fruitless - and as he’s way too distracted by the bliss he feels when Sho breathes against his shoulder. A little hot air is all it takes to leave goosebumps that still remain when Sho’s already back claiming Jun’s mouth again.
For a split-second he laments that he still hasn’t had the chance to look at Sho - but he’s waited almost 15 years, so a few more minutes won’t make that much of a difference. Feeling him, tasting him, is so much more real anyway.
Jun is overcome by the desire to leave proof this isn’t just a dream, just some sort of fantasy that’ll be over as soon as he blinks. He hesitates to leave that fuckable mouth, but then trails his tongue along Sho’s jaw, along the side of his neck, and starts sucking.
Shun’s words from back then echo in his mind - no marks where people can see them - but Jun couldn’t care less. Again he hears Sho chuckle and feels a pull at his hair, separating him from the patch of skin he’s fallen in love with.
“We’ve got a concert tomorrow…”
Never. Never ever has he heard that tone in Sho’s voice, not even back then when he was involuntarily eavesdropping. He wants to commit it to memory, has to do so. Whatever this is, whatever’s happening between them must be for one night. Jun isn’t foolish enough to trick himself into believing that this is forever - his heart wouldn’t make it otherwise.
“…but…” With a little pressure, Sho directs him elsewhere, guiding Jun’s lips to just above the other man’s chest. “… I don’t think any of my costumes have a cut-out there. Only glitter.”
Rather hearing than actually seeing Sho smile, he starts sucking again, thrilled by the revelation that his friend doesn’t mind him leaving proof of this on his body. As much as he would want people to see and wonder, he’s not delusional enough to risk all of their jobs.
While he concentrates on leaving the perfect hickey, he can suddenly feel hands opening the buttons on his jeans, then the zipper. A wave of heat and want washes over him at that, and it’s almost embarrassing just how much he wants all of this. His nails are practically digging into Sho’s pants so deliciously tight over his ass.
The other just makes an appreciative sound that is drowned in the low moan slipping through Jun’s lips at the sensational feeling of Sho’s palm rubbing flatly against his hard-on.
“More.” His eloquence is gone, but Jun’s way too into this to even care at this point - all he knows is that against is not enough, no matter how good it might feel, but around, on is what he wants. Sho’s hand on him, curving around him. “Sho, more.”
Luckily, Sho complies, although pushing Jun’s open jeans down first, pulling his underwear along in the process. Noticing Sho’s dark eyes scanning his naked body, Jun suddenly feels very self-conscious as he steps out of his clothes around his ankles and kicks them out of the way. It is unfair that Sho’s still half-dressed while he…
…doesn’t get to finish that thought as Sho’s fingers gently brush over thin skin stretched over needy heat, sweet caresses before he wraps his hand around Jun’s hard-on, slowly moving up and down. His mind goes blank for a second. Or two. Maybe longer.
He barely registers Sho’s shirt still caught around his wrist flapping against Jun’s bare thighs with every movement. Not that it matters, this is bliss…
Knees turning weak, he is crowding Sho against the next best… couch, apparently. Half of it is still littered with his suitcase and haphazard items of clothing. But as Sho flops down backwards and into it, he won’t let go of Jun. He is barely able to think coherently anymore - Sho’s still got his pants on. Not good. Jun’s so going to come before if…
…if…
…if…
What?
Jun shakes his head to clear his mind, finding back into the here and now. Sho looks up at him from where he’s sitting, his expression a memorable mixture of amusement, excitement and lust with a question shining through - another thing he has to commit to memory for the days and years to come.
Once again, he shakes his head, this time to answer said unspoken question and Sho releases him, hesitantly, but he understands, Jun’s sure of it. Should he…?
Swallowing, Jun slowly gets down on his knees, taking his time to kiss his way down Sho’s torso, his lips brushing over firm muscles. Stopping by the man’s bellybutton, he can feel the dent the piercing has left but misses the cold metal itself.
Like he is in any position to complain - right.
The feel of Sho’s hands tangled in his hair encourages him to look up again, Sho’s trapped shirt brushing his cheek. “May I?” His hand is already resting on the waistband of Sho’s pants.
“Be my guest.”
Jun’s breath catches slightly at the openly heated look he’s getting. So it is a little dazed that he nods. “You’ll first need to get up again, though,” he murmurs. The pants are still in the way.
In one fluid motion, as if they had choreographed it, Jun has opened the buttons and zipper, Sho has gotten up and Jun is pulling down pants and underwear alike just as Sho is falling back into the cushions.
Their eyes meet again, and a smirk is pulling at Jun’s lips. He takes his time, after all, now it is his turn to look, taking all of Sho in - metaphorically speaking - before he leans forward to gently huff against Sho, stealing an open moan from the man above him.
Teasingly, he brushes his fingertips over silken skin, tracing Sho’s vein and feeling his pulse against his finger. “God, Jun…” It’s almost embarrassing how much the dark timbre turns him on right now.
Thinking the cool metal of his ring would offer a nice contrast, Jun scratches it all the way back to the head, repeating the motion several times to see what other sounds he can coax out of Sho.
“Jun!”
It is then, that he replaces his fingertips with his mouth - his lips stretch around the head, tip of his tongue tasting what is decidedly Sho - Jun slowly bumps his head down. A primal sound from the other man is his reward and encouragement to go on.
On his way up, he carefully scratches his teeth over sensitive skin and sucks gently - a sharp hiss from Sho - before going down again. Jun makes quite a show of it, drinking up all the little noises, hoarse breath, guttual moans and primal sounds Sho’s making because of him. It’s so cliché but he feels like a god, enjoys the pull of Sho’s hands in his hair, feels himself respond to the other’s rocking hips when his hand reaches for Sho’s balls while the other hand against his body tries to keep him in place.
It’s too soon when Sho pulls him away, dragging him up for a heated kiss that has nothing to do with the chaste innocent first lock of their lips earlier.
Jun straddles him, his legs no longer able to support him, but his hands exploring greedily. If this is his one chance, then he wants to make good use of it and commit as much as possible to memory - sight, touch, sound, taste, smell, all of it. All of Sho. Just as he wants Sho to remember, to bear marks, at least for a while, proving this isn’t all just a wet dream.
So just like the kiss oscillates between heated biting and nipping, tongues chasing each other, and just exploring every inch of the other’s mouth… just like that, Jun’s hands go from feather-light touches to kneading to scratching and probably - hopefully - leaving red scratch marks.
“It… is unfair you… are such an… exhibitionist… on… stage,” Sho complains between kisses, his hands smoothing along Jun’s sides and Jun laughs. True, his playground for leaving proof of the night is way bigger than Sho’s - and he intends to make the best of it. The thought of Sho carrying a script of tonight is equally thrilling as it is exciting.
His head is falling back when Sho’s hands reach his ass, nails finally digging into his skin with just enough force to not break his skin but leave a mark - and of course Sho’s taking the opportunity to lean forward and suck at his adam’s apple, making Jun go to jelly.
It is time, he has no idea how long he - both of them - can keep this up without coming and if he gets to do this, he wants to go the whole nine yards.
“Sho…”
“Mmmmh?” Jun can feel the vibration against his neck, goosebumps spreading.
Reaching blindly for the suitcase, for what he knows is in it, he shifts a little in the other’s lap. They gasp in unison as their lengths are brushing against each other and Jun hast to conjure up every last scrap of concentration to continue in his search for…
Ha! A slight rustling is heard, then his hand re-emerges, clutching the bottle of lube tightly.
Sho stops his movements and looks up in surprise, his eyes darting from Jun to the lube back to Jun. “You’ve come prepared?”
If his cheeks weren’t flushed already he’d probably blush but Jun tries his best to hold Sho’s gaze. “Like you mind.” Deciding it is best to not let Sho’s mind wander and think, Jun takes the other’s hand and pours some lube in it.
They have a concert tomorrow and Jun isn’t delusional enough to think he’d make it through the show when he’s completely sore. Just leave all the planning to him. Jun has to congratulate himself for thinking ahead and taking a long shower after today’s show and making extra sure with kleenex at the restaurant before they left for the hotel - but Sho really doesn’t seem to mind…
And he sure knows how to make preparation an experience. Jun’s head falls back as he feels Sho’s fingers gently prodding, making their way in, scissoring, stretching, preparing and already brushing over that sensitive spot inside again and again and again - making him nearly come undone.
“Please!” He doesn’t even recognize his own voice and by the time Sho replaces his fingers, Jun’s no longer sure if he could even write his own name - all he can think of is Sho, Sho, Sho, barely noticing the sound of a condom wrap Sho must have found in his luggage. He’s in a warm happy place right now and - oh god - he feels so full.
In unison, they rock their bodies against each other, sweat-slicked skin against sweat-slicked skin, moaning, panting, screaming. They’re probably giving their neighbors something else to complain about other than Sho’s snoring but Jun’s beyond caring - and so is Sho.
Somehow, Sho’s shirt gets caught between their bodies, constraining Sho’s movements but that doesn’t keep them from going further and further and further - until Jun screams out as he comes, pulling Sho over the edge with him.
Minutes pass until Jun finally slips off, exhausted, coming to rest next to Sho and the suitcase. Wow, he - just wow. Of all the things he’s pictured before going back to their room… okay. His heart is still beating like mad and they probably should clean up soon unless they want it to get sticky - but not just yet. A few more moments to enjoy the, well, moment and… yeah. He’s happy, just happy and tired and a little dizzy, but definitely in a good way.
There’s a soft hum next to him, and as he looks over, Sho sits slumped back into the cushions, head fallen back and resting on the couch as well, eyes closed. Basking in the afterglow.
Jun swallows and tries not to think of things sure to come. He will just commit all this to memory and lock it away. Keep it safe and something just between the two of them. It will be hard to do, really hard…
Maybe, just maybe, he hasn’t really thought this through. Anytime now Sho will drop a line like he did back then with Shun and things will grow awkward between them.
He feels Sho shift on the sofa, watches him get rid of the condom and toss it in the bin (erm, disgusting?) before meeting his eyes. Now, it’s sure coming now and he isn’t prepared for this at all.
“Jun...”
Tears welling up at his name whispered with so much affection, Jun tries to blink them away. All the years, all the tension, it falls off his shoulders, his heart beating like mad, almost bursting. “I… before you say anything, I have a confession to make.”
“Mhmmm?” Sho leans forward to gently brush a single tear aside.
“Please don’t call management, the hotel didn’t mess up the reservation. At least not today.” He meant to say something else but isn’t quite ready yet. Hopefully, Sho won’t take it the wrong way.
The soft chuckle surprises him, but he can feel himself relax at the same time. “I know.”
“You know?”
“Well… I figured by the time you got out the brand new lube…”
Despite himself, Jun has to chuckle as well. “You should have seen the poor assistant’s face when-” He stops himself and instead asks, “Anyway, I hope you’re not mad?”
Sho takes a deep breath, looking pensive for a second, before his eyes meet Jun’s again. “Maybe a little.” He nods to give his words more weight, it seems, naked as they still are.
“I’m sorry,” Jun finally says after giving it some thought, meaning it.
“I’m not.” Sighing, Sho once again tries to free himself from the shirt that’s still caught around his wrist. “But next time, just say something, okay? No need to trick me into anything.”
“So there’s a next time, huh?” Jun inquires, leaning forward to take Sho’s hand to help him get rid of the fabric.
“Oh, I hope there is.”
~*~
When Jun wakes up he’s greeted with a ‘friendly’ reminder of the past. Feeling caught, he quickly pulls his hand back out of his pants and checks on Sho. Luckily, he’s still sound asleep and snoring as if his life depended on it.
Jun allows himself two seconds to marvel at the sight of Sho’s peaceful face, the slight stubble growing on his chin and morning hair sticking out in every direction - not to mention his bare chest rising and falling with every snore he’s taking.
Maybe it’s more like ten or twenty seconds before he forces his mind away from the sight he could admittedly get used to waking up to. Jun is sticky and his pyjama bottoms stained, and he sure as hell doesn’t want to let Sho see him like this.
As quietly as he can, he wiggles out of the blanket and off the bed to just grab some clothes without really looking if they match, and makes a bee-line for the bathroom.
This hasn’t happened in a long time and, to be perfectly honest, he could have done without it. Deciding it would be best to take a cold shower instead of a warm one, he turns the water on and quickly steps out of his stained pyjamas - he can decide later whether to hand them to the hotel’s cleaning service or to better store them in a plastic bag and hide it in his suitcase. Either way - Sho will never find out about any of it.
With a sigh, Jun steps under the shower, gasping when the cold water hits his flushed skin. “Fuuuuck!” A few more moments pass until he decides that this has to do and adjusts the temperature a little. He’s awake now, that much is for sure.
From the room he can hear Sho’s alarm going off even over the running water - and laughs despite himself as the swearing starts. He makes out something that sounds a lot like a tirade on the unreliability of yukata in general and Sho’s ‘dislike’ for that kind of clothing. Just to put it mildly - but it is enough to help Jun chuckle and ease up a little.
Once he feels clean again, he turns off the water and steps out of the shower, quickly shaves before using all his products. He doesn’t take as much time as he’d like to but Sho probably would like to use the bathroom as well, so Jun hurries up a little.
Getting dressed, he’s genuinely surprised that his clothes match - washed out jeans, rosé sweater, can’t go wrong with that - then he wraps his pyjama bottoms in a towel and leaves the bathroom.
“I’m truly sorry if I’ve molested you,” is the first thing he hears from his friend who has readjusted his yukata.
It’s a good thing he’s facing away from Sho as he’s packing away the pyjama bottoms never to be seen again. Jun has to tell his heart to stop racing and needs a couple of moments to set his face in a more neutral and less caught expression. When he’s sure he’s back in control, he turns to his friend, a slight frown on his face. “Why would you be molesting me?”
“In that case, thank you for not noticing. Stupid thing had a mind of its own.” Pointing to his garment, Sho rolls his eyes and exhales heavily. “Nevermind.”
“Well, that’s hardly your fault, is it? If you really feel like apologizing, then how about that snoring of yours? Seriously Sakurai, you sound like an old man at night. Not very becoming,” feeling it’s safer to tease, Jun quickly changes the topic and is relieved when Sho bursts into laughter.
He looks incredibly cute as he scratches his head in embarrassment - making his messy hair even messier. “I’m sorry - but you did get some sleep, right?” There is a hint of hopefulness and caring in his brown eyes that gives Jun stupid butterflies in his stomach and he hates himself for it.
“I did. Barely,” he nods, trying to keep it together, but his mind is wandering back to the night all of its own. So much for changing topic. He’s busying himself with his cell, checking for the time and new mails instead of looking at Sho.
“How about I’ll get you some extra strong coffee to make up for it?” It seems like a genuine apology but that only heightens Jun’s awareness of Sho’s presence.
“How about you hit the shower first? I’ll get your stuff in the meantime and then you can get me that extra strong coffee.”
“Sounds like a good plan.” Sho agrees and, after a short pause, he adds “MatsuJun, you’re the best.”
“I know…”
He feels relief wash over him once he’s left the room and able to put at least some physical distance between the two of them. At any rate he’ll have the room to himself again once the day is over - making things a little easier again.
His life wouldn’t be such a mess if he only felt attracted to his colleague. Attraction’s something you can get over - or so he believes. There’s enough distraction to keep his mind off things - even if he allows himself a fantasy every now and then, but rather when he’s alone. Who could blame him, Sho is a good-looking guy.
But he genuinely likes him and that’s where things get complicated - a feeling he has unsuccessfully been trying to shake off for the past years. Things have gone worse ever since he’s found out about Sho’s preferences - making the impossible possible all of a sudden.
Still - possible doesn’t mean probable. Neither of them has made a move at the other in all those years, though. And Jun can’t shake the feeling that if Sho likes him more than just as a friend, then he would have. Or would he? Jun hasn’t. And there are those moments like earlier when his colleague would look at him and…
It would have been a lot easier, too, if Sho were an ass. Jun could get over him a lot better, even over the knowledge that he might have a shot, if his friend weren’t such a genuinely nice person. Sure, Sho still has a flaring temper sometimes, but they are long past the stage where he’s throwing bags at people.
As things are, Jun will never find out. He’s never come out to his friend - neither about what has happened at the club, nor about the way he feels. A confession would put too much at risk - and Jun wouldn’t know what to say in the very first place. He knows what he feels but not how to put it. How to make Sho understand. Besides, he’s always been better with actions than with words.
And that’s when it hits him, when an idea starts forming in his head. It’s so stupid, it might even work - or at least he’d know for sure. With a stupid grin on his face, he pulls out his cellphone to make some calls.
~*~
„Sorry, but this has to be a bad joke...“ Sho is fuming as he slams the door shut. “Someone really fucked up, I mean… really? How likely is it they lose my reservation twice? One time, okay - even though this has never happened before, but two times? Seriously?”
Letting his suitcase fall to the floor, he stomps into the room. Jun understands where the frustration’s coming from. If he didn’t know what he knows, oh well… he’d probably give the staff some piece of his mind. And he’s not the one with the famous temper.
“I told you, it’s no trouble when you stay here for another night, really. Please don’t worry about that, okay?” Jun’s already by the sofa, opening his suitcase, and tries to figure out what to say to calm Sho down a little. He might no longer be throwing duffle bags around, but his friend can still get pretty angry.
“I... thank you, I really appreciate it. But that’s not the point. The point is, that this is… unheard of. Sorry, but this is just unacceptable. It is their job to make sure the booking runs smoothly - plus, it really isn’t too much to ask for to get all of us a room for the night, right?”
Feeling a little uncomfortable, Jun’s nervously chewing his lip and his eyes follow Sho while listening to his rants. He’s right - although he isn’t. In a way. Sho’s always doing his best, working hard and constantly pushing himself. So it is no wonder he expects the same from everyone else. Jun gets that. He’s no friend of half-assed work ethics either.
Although, the hotel staff hasn’t screwed up the booking this time - but Jun is no longer sure if it really was such a good idea to make the call this morning. Going on with the way things are is… well, probably not madness but it isn’t healthy either. He’s tried to get rid of all these ‘inappropriate’ feelings over and over again - and if almost 15 years didn’t do the trick…
No. He needs an answer. Yes, no - it doesn’t really matter. Of course, Jun’s keeping his fingers crossed for a yes but basically, he just needs an answer, just needs to hear it out of Sho’s mouth so he can either finally close this chapter or open a new one.
“You know what? I’m making the call now. I’d really like to hear an explanation. Actually, I should have made it yesterday.”
But first, he needs to keep Sho from raising hell at the jimusho or at the hotel. “You should at least calm down before calling them, don’t you think?”
Sho stops pacing up and down and looks at Jun as if he’s suddenly grown a second head - but eventually, he sighs and shrugs his shoulders. “Yeah… you’re probably right.”
Luckily, Sho’s temper tends to fade as quickly as it’s up to ninety. Plus, the years have knocked some sense into that stubborn head of his.
A close call.
Watching Sho put his cellphone back into his pocket, Jun exhales slowly. It is only then he realizes he’s been holding his breath the entire time.
Maybe he should just spill the beans and come clear before Sho changes his mind again and calls management - he’d better hear it from Jun than from anyone else, giving him some time to explain.
Making Sho share a room with him again seems a pretty lousy ‘plan’ in retrospect, especially as he still hasn’t made his move yet. It’s just… there’s no turning back after that. Once the words are out, they are out and Jun really cherishes that the two of them are not only colleagues but friends. Maybe not as close as they used to be, but…
… but as long as there’s even the slightest chance it could be more, as long as Jun doesn’t know for sure, it’ll never be enough. He just needs to know and sometimes, well, sometimes you need to risk something to get somewhere.
Okay. Okay, okay, okay - now or never. Gathering all his courage, Jun turns around and slowly starts unbuttoning his shirt, clearing his throat to get Sho’s attention. His colleague looks up, frowns, and turns back to unpack again.
Okay…
Subtle won’t do here - it’s amazing how daft Sho can be with his college degree, but then again, Jun hasn’t done much yet to have his alarms go off. So he steps closer, clearing his throat again, louder this time and catches Sho’s eye first before he slowly circles the fourth ivory button and undoes it. His heart is racing, palms going sweaty, but Jun does his best to not let any of it show - instead, he’s giving Sho his best seductive smile, taking yet another step in the other’s direction.
“Are you okay? You look a little funny?” Sho’s eyes are darting from Jun’s face to his hands, back to his face before seeming to settle for his hands again, not sure what’s happening.
Eyes glued to every little move the other man makes and heart hammering in his chest, Jun forces himself to take his time opening all of the buttons of his shirt, one after the other. “Never been better,” he lets his voice drop into a deeper timbre.
It’s different from ripping his shirt open on stage. Every movement is so exaggerated, so stylized, choreographed and, above all, expected. This is nothing like it. This is real, slow and Jun has no clue how Sho will react to it. Of course, he has a very good idea of what kind of reaction he’s hoping for - but this is new unfamiliar ground.
“You sure?”
Unable to resist a smile at the uncertain-confused tone in Sho’s voice, Jun slowly traces his finger across his lips and then places it right between his collarbones. “Mhmmmm.” He’s got Sho’s attention now, that much is for sure. “Don’t you like what you see?” In small circles, he’s tracing his finger down, his eyes never leaving Sho’s face.
“I’m not even sure what I’m seeing…”
To be completely honest, he is a bit disappointed at the reaction he’s getting - even though he knows this is Sho. “Maybe you just have to look harder,” he can’t help but suggest. He can feel his fingers trembling but wills them to go on at a steady pace. Further down, circling his bellybutton.
At least Sho hasn’t yelled at him or - worse - laughed. Hasn’t told him off, but is still watching, swallowing hard. Seems like his mind is slowly catching up to what is happening.
“I see what you’re doing, but what are you doing?”
Maybe he should just stop. This is clearly not the reaction Jun was hoping for and it’s really hard to keep going when you’re losing confidence. But he’s not quite ready to give up just yet.
“Take a wild guess.”
A smirk is spreading on his face as Sho’s eyes go wider in surprise when Jun’s finger leaves his navel to wander further south, gently tracing the waistband of his washed-out jeans. He’s still nervous as hell, unsure if this really was a good idea - but the dark look in Sho’s eyes gives him some reassurance.
Although it means breaking eye contact, Jun lets his head fall back, showing Sho the long line of his throat while he carefully rolls his right shoulder, making his shirt slip, thus exposing more of his skin.
Technically, Sho still hasn’t replied yet, but Jun generously takes the nervous cough for an answer as he mirrors his previous movement with his left shoulder.
Jun still won’t look, afraid of what he’ll find, heart hammering in his chest - at the same time turned on by what he knows and can clearly picture he would like to find, and shaking with fear at making a complete fool of himself. There are goosebumps chasing down his spine and his fingers are positively shaking as they start pulling his belt from its buckle.
He hasn’t told him to stop - that’s the straw Jun’s holding on to. Sho still hasn’t told him to stop and that has to account at least for something, right?
While Jun can’t see, he concentrates hard on what he can hear - Sho’s sharp intake of breath, his uncomfortable shifting while not moving away, apparently still not sure what he’s supposed to do. Well, Jun isn’t entirely sure either, so that makes two of them.
With a final tug, his belt comes loose - Jun’s cue to look up again to meet Sho’s eyes fixed on him, burning. He can still spot traces of doubt but this emotion is quickly clouded by something else. Lust, arousal, for sure… curiosity, yes.
“You’re for real, aren’t you?” Sho’s voice is deeper, slightly rough on the edge of hoarse but Jun doesn’t mind, on the contrary.
With a reassuring smile curling around his lips, Jun lets his belt fall to the ground, his fingers playfully moving to the first button of his jeans. “What does it look like?”
“And you have thought this through?” One final question Jun decides to answer by straitening his arms to have his shirt slowly sliding off with only a soft rustle as it lands on top of the belt.
The next thing he registers are Sho’s lips against his own, soft, shy - so very different from what he’s pictured again and again after his little revelation in the men’s room. So very, very different and a million times better.
Yet Jun’s still keeping his hands to himself. This wonderful, mind-blowing kiss is more of an answer than he hoped for and he doesn’t trust they won’t give away just how nervous he has been and still is. Their lips are the only point their bodies are touching, instead, a lot more chaste than he would have expected this to go. Although his hope is that this is far from the end…
The tip of his tongue is darting out and brushing Sho’s lips probingly. Sho replies by slightly parting them, granting Jun entrance while Jun feels the other’s hand curving around his jaw, thumb brushing over his cheek.
Happily, he leans more into the kiss, carefully moving forward, exploring, enjoying. There’s this slight tingle when the tips of their tongues meet for the first time, sending pleasant shivers down Jun’s spine.
‘Sho.’ The name won’t quite form but finds its way into his friend’s mouth as a sigh. The echo in his mind is deafening, though. Happily so. All he can think of right now is Sho - and how he wants to feel him. The warm hand cupping his cheek feels like such a sweet promise, but Jun is greedy, wants it all now; he has been waiting and hesitating and pining way too long.
His hands find his way around Sho’s waist, pulling him closer until their lips aren’t the only parts touching. Sho’s body heat feels good against his bare skin, even when it’s only through layers of fabric, Jun decides while he deepens the kiss, tilting his head slightly for a better angle.
Delicate fingers dance over his back as Sho’s other hand moves further, finding their way to Jun’s neck and further up, locking in his hair, gently pulling to break the kiss to gasp for air - only to kiss him again, less sweet this time, but still far from rough.
That’s when Jun gets more daring. He is impatient now that he’s taken the plunge and not been rejected so far. Almost of their own accord, his fingers slip underneath all the fabric, running up and down Sho’s sides, tracing his broad chest, before making short work of his shirt and just pulling it over his head roughly.
It means breaking their kiss and Jun wonders if it’s possible a tongue can feel lonely. He can hear Sho chuckle but doesn’t have enough time to worry if the other man has changed his mind - Sho’s full lips have already found his throat and start placing a trail of butterfly kisses all the way down to his shoulder while Jun’s still trying to get Sho’s stupid shirt off the other’s wrist.
Eventually, he decides to just leave it there as all his pulling remains fruitless - and as he’s way too distracted by the bliss he feels when Sho breathes against his shoulder. A little hot air is all it takes to leave goosebumps that still remain when Sho’s already back claiming Jun’s mouth again.
For a split-second he laments that he still hasn’t had the chance to look at Sho - but he’s waited almost 15 years, so a few more minutes won’t make that much of a difference. Feeling him, tasting him, is so much more real anyway.
Jun is overcome by the desire to leave proof this isn’t just a dream, just some sort of fantasy that’ll be over as soon as he blinks. He hesitates to leave that fuckable mouth, but then trails his tongue along Sho’s jaw, along the side of his neck, and starts sucking.
Shun’s words from back then echo in his mind - no marks where people can see them - but Jun couldn’t care less. Again he hears Sho chuckle and feels a pull at his hair, separating him from the patch of skin he’s fallen in love with.
“We’ve got a concert tomorrow…”
Never. Never ever has he heard that tone in Sho’s voice, not even back then when he was involuntarily eavesdropping. He wants to commit it to memory, has to do so. Whatever this is, whatever’s happening between them must be for one night. Jun isn’t foolish enough to trick himself into believing that this is forever - his heart wouldn’t make it otherwise.
“…but…” With a little pressure, Sho directs him elsewhere, guiding Jun’s lips to just above the other man’s chest. “… I don’t think any of my costumes have a cut-out there. Only glitter.”
Rather hearing than actually seeing Sho smile, he starts sucking again, thrilled by the revelation that his friend doesn’t mind him leaving proof of this on his body. As much as he would want people to see and wonder, he’s not delusional enough to risk all of their jobs.
While he concentrates on leaving the perfect hickey, he can suddenly feel hands opening the buttons on his jeans, then the zipper. A wave of heat and want washes over him at that, and it’s almost embarrassing just how much he wants all of this. His nails are practically digging into Sho’s pants so deliciously tight over his ass.
The other just makes an appreciative sound that is drowned in the low moan slipping through Jun’s lips at the sensational feeling of Sho’s palm rubbing flatly against his hard-on.
“More.” His eloquence is gone, but Jun’s way too into this to even care at this point - all he knows is that against is not enough, no matter how good it might feel, but around, on is what he wants. Sho’s hand on him, curving around him. “Sho, more.”
Luckily, Sho complies, although pushing Jun’s open jeans down first, pulling his underwear along in the process. Noticing Sho’s dark eyes scanning his naked body, Jun suddenly feels very self-conscious as he steps out of his clothes around his ankles and kicks them out of the way. It is unfair that Sho’s still half-dressed while he…
…doesn’t get to finish that thought as Sho’s fingers gently brush over thin skin stretched over needy heat, sweet caresses before he wraps his hand around Jun’s hard-on, slowly moving up and down. His mind goes blank for a second. Or two. Maybe longer.
He barely registers Sho’s shirt still caught around his wrist flapping against Jun’s bare thighs with every movement. Not that it matters, this is bliss…
Knees turning weak, he is crowding Sho against the next best… couch, apparently. Half of it is still littered with his suitcase and haphazard items of clothing. But as Sho flops down backwards and into it, he won’t let go of Jun. He is barely able to think coherently anymore - Sho’s still got his pants on. Not good. Jun’s so going to come before if…
…if…
…if…
What?
Jun shakes his head to clear his mind, finding back into the here and now. Sho looks up at him from where he’s sitting, his expression a memorable mixture of amusement, excitement and lust with a question shining through - another thing he has to commit to memory for the days and years to come.
Once again, he shakes his head, this time to answer said unspoken question and Sho releases him, hesitantly, but he understands, Jun’s sure of it. Should he…?
Swallowing, Jun slowly gets down on his knees, taking his time to kiss his way down Sho’s torso, his lips brushing over firm muscles. Stopping by the man’s bellybutton, he can feel the dent the piercing has left but misses the cold metal itself.
Like he is in any position to complain - right.
The feel of Sho’s hands tangled in his hair encourages him to look up again, Sho’s trapped shirt brushing his cheek. “May I?” His hand is already resting on the waistband of Sho’s pants.
“Be my guest.”
Jun’s breath catches slightly at the openly heated look he’s getting. So it is a little dazed that he nods. “You’ll first need to get up again, though,” he murmurs. The pants are still in the way.
In one fluid motion, as if they had choreographed it, Jun has opened the buttons and zipper, Sho has gotten up and Jun is pulling down pants and underwear alike just as Sho is falling back into the cushions.
Their eyes meet again, and a smirk is pulling at Jun’s lips. He takes his time, after all, now it is his turn to look, taking all of Sho in - metaphorically speaking - before he leans forward to gently huff against Sho, stealing an open moan from the man above him.
Teasingly, he brushes his fingertips over silken skin, tracing Sho’s vein and feeling his pulse against his finger. “God, Jun…” It’s almost embarrassing how much the dark timbre turns him on right now.
Thinking the cool metal of his ring would offer a nice contrast, Jun scratches it all the way back to the head, repeating the motion several times to see what other sounds he can coax out of Sho.
“Jun!”
It is then, that he replaces his fingertips with his mouth - his lips stretch around the head, tip of his tongue tasting what is decidedly Sho - Jun slowly bumps his head down. A primal sound from the other man is his reward and encouragement to go on.
On his way up, he carefully scratches his teeth over sensitive skin and sucks gently - a sharp hiss from Sho - before going down again. Jun makes quite a show of it, drinking up all the little noises, hoarse breath, guttual moans and primal sounds Sho’s making because of him. It’s so cliché but he feels like a god, enjoys the pull of Sho’s hands in his hair, feels himself respond to the other’s rocking hips when his hand reaches for Sho’s balls while the other hand against his body tries to keep him in place.
It’s too soon when Sho pulls him away, dragging him up for a heated kiss that has nothing to do with the chaste innocent first lock of their lips earlier.
Jun straddles him, his legs no longer able to support him, but his hands exploring greedily. If this is his one chance, then he wants to make good use of it and commit as much as possible to memory - sight, touch, sound, taste, smell, all of it. All of Sho. Just as he wants Sho to remember, to bear marks, at least for a while, proving this isn’t all just a wet dream.
So just like the kiss oscillates between heated biting and nipping, tongues chasing each other, and just exploring every inch of the other’s mouth… just like that, Jun’s hands go from feather-light touches to kneading to scratching and probably - hopefully - leaving red scratch marks.
“It… is unfair you… are such an… exhibitionist… on… stage,” Sho complains between kisses, his hands smoothing along Jun’s sides and Jun laughs. True, his playground for leaving proof of the night is way bigger than Sho’s - and he intends to make the best of it. The thought of Sho carrying a script of tonight is equally thrilling as it is exciting.
His head is falling back when Sho’s hands reach his ass, nails finally digging into his skin with just enough force to not break his skin but leave a mark - and of course Sho’s taking the opportunity to lean forward and suck at his adam’s apple, making Jun go to jelly.
It is time, he has no idea how long he - both of them - can keep this up without coming and if he gets to do this, he wants to go the whole nine yards.
“Sho…”
“Mmmmh?” Jun can feel the vibration against his neck, goosebumps spreading.
Reaching blindly for the suitcase, for what he knows is in it, he shifts a little in the other’s lap. They gasp in unison as their lengths are brushing against each other and Jun hast to conjure up every last scrap of concentration to continue in his search for…
Ha! A slight rustling is heard, then his hand re-emerges, clutching the bottle of lube tightly.
Sho stops his movements and looks up in surprise, his eyes darting from Jun to the lube back to Jun. “You’ve come prepared?”
If his cheeks weren’t flushed already he’d probably blush but Jun tries his best to hold Sho’s gaze. “Like you mind.” Deciding it is best to not let Sho’s mind wander and think, Jun takes the other’s hand and pours some lube in it.
They have a concert tomorrow and Jun isn’t delusional enough to think he’d make it through the show when he’s completely sore. Just leave all the planning to him. Jun has to congratulate himself for thinking ahead and taking a long shower after today’s show and making extra sure with kleenex at the restaurant before they left for the hotel - but Sho really doesn’t seem to mind…
And he sure knows how to make preparation an experience. Jun’s head falls back as he feels Sho’s fingers gently prodding, making their way in, scissoring, stretching, preparing and already brushing over that sensitive spot inside again and again and again - making him nearly come undone.
“Please!” He doesn’t even recognize his own voice and by the time Sho replaces his fingers, Jun’s no longer sure if he could even write his own name - all he can think of is Sho, Sho, Sho, barely noticing the sound of a condom wrap Sho must have found in his luggage. He’s in a warm happy place right now and - oh god - he feels so full.
In unison, they rock their bodies against each other, sweat-slicked skin against sweat-slicked skin, moaning, panting, screaming. They’re probably giving their neighbors something else to complain about other than Sho’s snoring but Jun’s beyond caring - and so is Sho.
Somehow, Sho’s shirt gets caught between their bodies, constraining Sho’s movements but that doesn’t keep them from going further and further and further - until Jun screams out as he comes, pulling Sho over the edge with him.
Minutes pass until Jun finally slips off, exhausted, coming to rest next to Sho and the suitcase. Wow, he - just wow. Of all the things he’s pictured before going back to their room… okay. His heart is still beating like mad and they probably should clean up soon unless they want it to get sticky - but not just yet. A few more moments to enjoy the, well, moment and… yeah. He’s happy, just happy and tired and a little dizzy, but definitely in a good way.
There’s a soft hum next to him, and as he looks over, Sho sits slumped back into the cushions, head fallen back and resting on the couch as well, eyes closed. Basking in the afterglow.
Jun swallows and tries not to think of things sure to come. He will just commit all this to memory and lock it away. Keep it safe and something just between the two of them. It will be hard to do, really hard…
Maybe, just maybe, he hasn’t really thought this through. Anytime now Sho will drop a line like he did back then with Shun and things will grow awkward between them.
He feels Sho shift on the sofa, watches him get rid of the condom and toss it in the bin (erm, disgusting?) before meeting his eyes. Now, it’s sure coming now and he isn’t prepared for this at all.
“Jun...”
Tears welling up at his name whispered with so much affection, Jun tries to blink them away. All the years, all the tension, it falls off his shoulders, his heart beating like mad, almost bursting. “I… before you say anything, I have a confession to make.”
“Mhmmm?” Sho leans forward to gently brush a single tear aside.
“Please don’t call management, the hotel didn’t mess up the reservation. At least not today.” He meant to say something else but isn’t quite ready yet. Hopefully, Sho won’t take it the wrong way.
The soft chuckle surprises him, but he can feel himself relax at the same time. “I know.”
“You know?”
“Well… I figured by the time you got out the brand new lube…”
Despite himself, Jun has to chuckle as well. “You should have seen the poor assistant’s face when-” He stops himself and instead asks, “Anyway, I hope you’re not mad?”
Sho takes a deep breath, looking pensive for a second, before his eyes meet Jun’s again. “Maybe a little.” He nods to give his words more weight, it seems, naked as they still are.
“I’m sorry,” Jun finally says after giving it some thought, meaning it.
“I’m not.” Sighing, Sho once again tries to free himself from the shirt that’s still caught around his wrist. “But next time, just say something, okay? No need to trick me into anything.”
“So there’s a next time, huh?” Jun inquires, leaning forward to take Sho’s hand to help him get rid of the fabric.
“Oh, I hope there is.”
~*~