(no subject)
before i say anything..i dont want anyone to say 'aw' or 'im sorry' or 'i know how you feel' because to be frank with all of you...i dont give a shit. right now i can only care about me. the only people i want support from are the people at school who need to work on this shit for me.
basically...if i dont find a way to make up physics and the 2nd semester of advanced algebra..i will be attending summer school. right now i dont think i will be graduating on time. i will be in summer school when im supposed to be getting ready for college. i dont even know if theyll let me go to prom...right now im very depressed, i just want to take the whole bottle of sleeping pills. my mom kept saying that it wasnt my fault while i was sitting on the floor crying saying 'im sorry. im sorry. im sorry.' but it IS my fault. im lazy but i have so much potential its not even funny. i could have gotten an A in physics if i tried to translate what my teacher said in broken english...basically..if they are no night school programs that i can squeeze myself into, i will have to bring my dad to school and talk to the principal and ms meanie face in the programming office, if i really dont need PE 3 then i can drop the class and substitute it with advanced algebra. and then i will still be able to take physics in saturday school if the teacher is still teaching that class. its not like im asking them to pass me when i dont deserve to be passed or give me credits i havent earned, i just want a schedual change so i dont have to kill myself going from different points in the city.
i dont want your sympathy. i dont want you to pity me. i dont want you to feel sorry for me. i sure as hell didnt feel sorry for josh when he said he was gonna drop out. i didnt feel bad for him. i was angy because i wanted him to graduate too. i dont want him to drop out and im glad that he isnt going to. but now i want to walk across that stage too and do whatever it takes to get my schedual changed, go to saturday school, pass all of my regular classes and get out of that fucking hell hole on june 11th. tomorrow im going to give everyone the silent treatment. i dont feel like talking to any of them or explaining that i might not graduate with them and then have them all give me the same reaction 'why didnt you do this why did you fail that why why why what the hell is wrong with you blah blah blah you better this and you better that and if you dont do this blah blah blah'...i will talk to eryk, the other kids in art, my teachers and the councelors. that is all. i dont need to explain myself to my "friends" when all theyre gonna do is lecture me.
basically...if i dont find a way to make up physics and the 2nd semester of advanced algebra..i will be attending summer school. right now i dont think i will be graduating on time. i will be in summer school when im supposed to be getting ready for college. i dont even know if theyll let me go to prom...right now im very depressed, i just want to take the whole bottle of sleeping pills. my mom kept saying that it wasnt my fault while i was sitting on the floor crying saying 'im sorry. im sorry. im sorry.' but it IS my fault. im lazy but i have so much potential its not even funny. i could have gotten an A in physics if i tried to translate what my teacher said in broken english...basically..if they are no night school programs that i can squeeze myself into, i will have to bring my dad to school and talk to the principal and ms meanie face in the programming office, if i really dont need PE 3 then i can drop the class and substitute it with advanced algebra. and then i will still be able to take physics in saturday school if the teacher is still teaching that class. its not like im asking them to pass me when i dont deserve to be passed or give me credits i havent earned, i just want a schedual change so i dont have to kill myself going from different points in the city.
i dont want your sympathy. i dont want you to pity me. i dont want you to feel sorry for me. i sure as hell didnt feel sorry for josh when he said he was gonna drop out. i didnt feel bad for him. i was angy because i wanted him to graduate too. i dont want him to drop out and im glad that he isnt going to. but now i want to walk across that stage too and do whatever it takes to get my schedual changed, go to saturday school, pass all of my regular classes and get out of that fucking hell hole on june 11th. tomorrow im going to give everyone the silent treatment. i dont feel like talking to any of them or explaining that i might not graduate with them and then have them all give me the same reaction 'why didnt you do this why did you fail that why why why what the hell is wrong with you blah blah blah you better this and you better that and if you dont do this blah blah blah'...i will talk to eryk, the other kids in art, my teachers and the councelors. that is all. i dont need to explain myself to my "friends" when all theyre gonna do is lecture me.