(no subject)
Dear Hunter,
I am writing this letter to you as an exercise to warm myself up for writing some college application essays. “Oh, wow, I’m glad I mean so much that it takes such a lame task to make you want to write to me,” I’m sure you’re thinking. Well, yeah. We live in a digital age and I could just IM you, why write a letter?
I have lately taken to dilly dallying while leaving English, my second period class, so as to arrive at Avendaño’s room about the same time you do. If I just leave at a normal time, then I get through the room long before you arrive. Today I guess I took too long because you were already in there when I got there but I couldn’t really catch your attention. I had already decided that, should I manage the perfect timing, I would say something like, “So had you heard that Cobra demo before?” It would get us talking about the mix without me asking outright about how you liked it. But that’s really what I want to know. I want to know if you picked up on any subtle theme, or if you thought I was trying o convey a message with it. I’m not really saying I am, but if i was, what would you think I was trying to say. Because I actually started with an idea of what I wanted the songs to say, because I always do that when I start a mix, but then I decided to just try and pick songs you would like and that the theme would come through itself as long as I didn’t choose any songs that were like, woah what in the world could this mean. “Bitch Went Nuts” doesn’t really fit the theme that developed that I couldn’t have even named before burning the CD, but the more I listened to the mix (because when I make someone a mix I usually listen to it once or twice a day for a few days after I make it) I started arranging a bit of a theme that I like to think my subconscious put there. It’s kind of like, I’m coming out of a weird palce right now and while I think there is some sort of potential for us, you need to know that I will probably screw it up because that’s just what I do. I think the line that sums it up best is from track 5, “Better Open The Door”. “I cannot let you inside myself for fear I’ll sink the ship and drag us both down,”. Now, I don’t really know how true this is. I haven’t ever been in what I would consider a real relationship. I kind of dated this guy for a little while in 9th grade but for some reason I feel like it doesn’t “count”. Maybe it’s because it wasn’t for very long or because he ended up coming out a few months later, I don’t know. WHATEVER. I over dramatize everything anyway. Usually I just have unreasonably large crushes on guys and then I tell them and it’s not mutual and then I try to ignore them for a while and then I get back to them and either i’m still crushin’ or I want to crush them. You know. Typical teenage angst.
I’m not gonna lie - I first started developing an interest in you because I was bored. Ok, I know that sounds completely terrible, but let me try to explain this a little differently. I like having crushes. I haven’t had a fresh one in a while. I’ve just been rehashing the same old boys over and over. So it’s like, I meet you and I think, hey, I could like this guy. Let’s give it a shot and start acting like I do and see what happens. I don’t mean that I’m faking liking you to see how you react, but to see how I start to act. And I dunno, I guess I’m feeling something cause here I am writing this letter. Yeah. I really wish you were on aim right now because I want to talk to you. I think you’re pretty cool and would like to get to know you better. You’re kind of weird and I like that. I would like to become a cast member in your movie life. Maybe then some of the romantic comedy elements would be a little more apparent :) Ok that emoticon was so cheesy, I’m sorry.
So I feel pretty confidant in my assumption that a guy wouldn’t really appreciate a girl telling him right off the bat that she doesn’t like one of his really good friends, so it’s a good thing I’m never actually going to give this letter to you. James Thieke drives me NUTS. I feel like he is constantly undermining my authority in Brain Bowl which I hate because that club means a lot to me. I am president and he is not. He needs to realize that and let his behavior reflect it. Fact is, he holds no position of authority in that club at this point in time. He gets to choose the team for state and that is it. I do not appreciate him simply deciding that he is reading today. I have no problem letting other people be moderator, but it’s pretty nice when they ASK. And when I jokingly say, who said you’re reading? I don’t like receiving a snippy answer like, well you never let me play. WHICH IS NOT TRUE AT ALL. Yeah, I might ask him to sit out so a new person can play but he has played like, every week except once! So please JAmes Thieke, get off your high horse and stop arguing with me. It doesn’t matter if the first name isn’t underlined, if you give an incorrect first name, THE ANSWER IS WRONG. I don’t care if you don’t think the packets are godo for studying. If I want people to get the packets and study them THATS MY DECISION. BECAUSE I AM PRESIDENT. And the packets ARE a good starting place.
I am very sorry that this letter writing exercise turned into a Rant like the exercise on the next page of the book I was perusing about writing a college application essay. This is that “What would you actually say to him” exercise. Except I would never really say any of this to you. So to wrap this up, you should be my boyfriend. Let me list some reasons why I think I would be a good girlfriend.
I make awesome mix cds (but you knew that).
Is it bad that I am already on the second point and having a hard time thinking of something?
I am fun to be around/talk to. Honestly, never a dull moment.
I am a good listener, usually. Exceptions are when my mind is somewhere else. Which, ok, I won’t lie, that’s pretty often. But I think I would listen to you pretty well because you seem to hold my attention.
Scoring an olda’ gurl will totally impress your friends.
On a related topic, I am pretty good at not letting other people’s opinions affect my decisions. Like the fact that some of my friends are weirded out by my interest in you because you’re younger. But they’re lame.
To be fair, I will list some cons also. Hopefully you will be able to overlook these or they won’t even matter in the first place!
I can’t drive.
I tend to over analyze things and obsess over minute details of conversations. Especially with boys.
But look this con list adds another pro! I am as good at seeing the larger picture, both negative and positive aspects, as I am at breaking things down into smaller sections.
So yeah. Your move now.
Sincerely yours,
Hayley Cox
P.S. This letter was about 1,300 words, which is like 2-3 times longer than any of the essays I need to write. Why is it so much easier to write things like this when your future isn’t on the line? I don’t know if I should save this or not. Maybe I’ll just put it in a locked, private livejournal entry. Yeah, that sounds good.
I am writing this letter to you as an exercise to warm myself up for writing some college application essays. “Oh, wow, I’m glad I mean so much that it takes such a lame task to make you want to write to me,” I’m sure you’re thinking. Well, yeah. We live in a digital age and I could just IM you, why write a letter?
I have lately taken to dilly dallying while leaving English, my second period class, so as to arrive at Avendaño’s room about the same time you do. If I just leave at a normal time, then I get through the room long before you arrive. Today I guess I took too long because you were already in there when I got there but I couldn’t really catch your attention. I had already decided that, should I manage the perfect timing, I would say something like, “So had you heard that Cobra demo before?” It would get us talking about the mix without me asking outright about how you liked it. But that’s really what I want to know. I want to know if you picked up on any subtle theme, or if you thought I was trying o convey a message with it. I’m not really saying I am, but if i was, what would you think I was trying to say. Because I actually started with an idea of what I wanted the songs to say, because I always do that when I start a mix, but then I decided to just try and pick songs you would like and that the theme would come through itself as long as I didn’t choose any songs that were like, woah what in the world could this mean. “Bitch Went Nuts” doesn’t really fit the theme that developed that I couldn’t have even named before burning the CD, but the more I listened to the mix (because when I make someone a mix I usually listen to it once or twice a day for a few days after I make it) I started arranging a bit of a theme that I like to think my subconscious put there. It’s kind of like, I’m coming out of a weird palce right now and while I think there is some sort of potential for us, you need to know that I will probably screw it up because that’s just what I do. I think the line that sums it up best is from track 5, “Better Open The Door”. “I cannot let you inside myself for fear I’ll sink the ship and drag us both down,”. Now, I don’t really know how true this is. I haven’t ever been in what I would consider a real relationship. I kind of dated this guy for a little while in 9th grade but for some reason I feel like it doesn’t “count”. Maybe it’s because it wasn’t for very long or because he ended up coming out a few months later, I don’t know. WHATEVER. I over dramatize everything anyway. Usually I just have unreasonably large crushes on guys and then I tell them and it’s not mutual and then I try to ignore them for a while and then I get back to them and either i’m still crushin’ or I want to crush them. You know. Typical teenage angst.
I’m not gonna lie - I first started developing an interest in you because I was bored. Ok, I know that sounds completely terrible, but let me try to explain this a little differently. I like having crushes. I haven’t had a fresh one in a while. I’ve just been rehashing the same old boys over and over. So it’s like, I meet you and I think, hey, I could like this guy. Let’s give it a shot and start acting like I do and see what happens. I don’t mean that I’m faking liking you to see how you react, but to see how I start to act. And I dunno, I guess I’m feeling something cause here I am writing this letter. Yeah. I really wish you were on aim right now because I want to talk to you. I think you’re pretty cool and would like to get to know you better. You’re kind of weird and I like that. I would like to become a cast member in your movie life. Maybe then some of the romantic comedy elements would be a little more apparent :) Ok that emoticon was so cheesy, I’m sorry.
So I feel pretty confidant in my assumption that a guy wouldn’t really appreciate a girl telling him right off the bat that she doesn’t like one of his really good friends, so it’s a good thing I’m never actually going to give this letter to you. James Thieke drives me NUTS. I feel like he is constantly undermining my authority in Brain Bowl which I hate because that club means a lot to me. I am president and he is not. He needs to realize that and let his behavior reflect it. Fact is, he holds no position of authority in that club at this point in time. He gets to choose the team for state and that is it. I do not appreciate him simply deciding that he is reading today. I have no problem letting other people be moderator, but it’s pretty nice when they ASK. And when I jokingly say, who said you’re reading? I don’t like receiving a snippy answer like, well you never let me play. WHICH IS NOT TRUE AT ALL. Yeah, I might ask him to sit out so a new person can play but he has played like, every week except once! So please JAmes Thieke, get off your high horse and stop arguing with me. It doesn’t matter if the first name isn’t underlined, if you give an incorrect first name, THE ANSWER IS WRONG. I don’t care if you don’t think the packets are godo for studying. If I want people to get the packets and study them THATS MY DECISION. BECAUSE I AM PRESIDENT. And the packets ARE a good starting place.
I am very sorry that this letter writing exercise turned into a Rant like the exercise on the next page of the book I was perusing about writing a college application essay. This is that “What would you actually say to him” exercise. Except I would never really say any of this to you. So to wrap this up, you should be my boyfriend. Let me list some reasons why I think I would be a good girlfriend.
I make awesome mix cds (but you knew that).
Is it bad that I am already on the second point and having a hard time thinking of something?
I am fun to be around/talk to. Honestly, never a dull moment.
I am a good listener, usually. Exceptions are when my mind is somewhere else. Which, ok, I won’t lie, that’s pretty often. But I think I would listen to you pretty well because you seem to hold my attention.
Scoring an olda’ gurl will totally impress your friends.
On a related topic, I am pretty good at not letting other people’s opinions affect my decisions. Like the fact that some of my friends are weirded out by my interest in you because you’re younger. But they’re lame.
To be fair, I will list some cons also. Hopefully you will be able to overlook these or they won’t even matter in the first place!
I can’t drive.
I tend to over analyze things and obsess over minute details of conversations. Especially with boys.
But look this con list adds another pro! I am as good at seeing the larger picture, both negative and positive aspects, as I am at breaking things down into smaller sections.
So yeah. Your move now.
Sincerely yours,
Hayley Cox
P.S. This letter was about 1,300 words, which is like 2-3 times longer than any of the essays I need to write. Why is it so much easier to write things like this when your future isn’t on the line? I don’t know if I should save this or not. Maybe I’ll just put it in a locked, private livejournal entry. Yeah, that sounds good.