(no subject)
"emotionally constipated"
"emotionally cripple"
"emotionally stubborn"
no sweetheart, i'm really not.
i'm absolutely not.
everything is so out of my hands.
i'm not a control freak;
i don't want to be this supreme power who can make everyone follow my orders
and morph them to the way i want them to be,
but i'd like to know if i can trust someone again, if intentions are set right, if i'm capable of pursuing anything
whatsoever with everything i've got with an honest heart, if there's any way i'm capable of letting things go,
or if a heart is still beating steadily enough to function.
i'd like to know those things.
how do i say this.
how do i say, this.
i do mind!
i mind!
i do fucking mind!