(no subject)
... It transpires that PHASE ONE of John's Cunning Plan to HURT, ANGER, SHOCK, AMAZE, TAKE FOOTBALL HOME AND CRY, LOSE FRIENDS AND ALIENATE PEOPLE, SCREAM AND SCREAM UNTIL SICK, ETC appears to be to post bad pictures of my twat on Livejournal. Gosh. This is a spectacularly ineffectual move, really, since when have I been shy about exposing my lady areas to all and sundry? Not lately, mon chere, more's the pity. Thus:
WHAT'S THAT, BATMAN? MY CUNT ON THE INTERNETS?
OH NOES!
OH NOES!
OH NOES!
OH NOES!
(Seriously kids, fair warning - that is indeed my flange. I apologise unreservedly for the razor burn - if I 'd known you were coming I'd have baked a cake waxed and exfoliated thoroughly, etc. Also, look, both of my bosoms by way of a bonus, and a happy little face with a tomato for a nose. Something of a karmic reminder to not be a GIGANTIC GALLOPING CLOD, what?)
Non-twat BONUS ROUND for clever chilluns!:
... Bullshit as two words, and is that a misplaced apostrophe? You FUCKER!
I DO NOT APPROVE OF ZIS COURSE OF ACTION, HELMUT.
... More to come, or my name isn't Ms Rebecca Think-Outside-The-Box Lawson.
Sender: John
17:36:52 17/03/2005
The fact that it only took a couple of weeks to not love me proves that i never meant much to you. That's ok though cos you're gonna pay and so are some of the people you care about. Then i'll be over it
For the record, and for your own safety, I couldn't care less about any of you fuckers :D xx