It's my pity-party, I'll cry if I want to
I love my husband so much - it hurts to see him doing things that will shorten his life. And not doing things that will help him. When I can bring myself to speak to him about these things, he makes a joke of it, as though he thinks he is so clever to thwart me.
Today, I wanted to get a load of towels out on the line while the weather held, or perhaps the bed linen; he hadn't taken his shower yet, was lying on his bed, wrapped in a blanket. When I told him that I needed him to get moving so I could get on with the laundry (which, by the way, he had asked me to do today), he laughed and replied "I'll take it under consideration."
He does not understand why I am hurt and angry. He doesn't understand how small he makes me feel when he blows off my concerns, my needs. How ... trivial and unimportant.
I went out to check the mail. While I was out there, I checked the recycling bin - it was empty, so I pulled it back to the house - a mitzvah for my son. He came and fussed at me for doing it. No word of thanks, just ... complaint.
Sometimes I think it would be so easy to die. I feel like nothing a lot of the time anyway. A small voice, easily ignored, only noticed when things aren't going right.
Today, I wanted to get a load of towels out on the line while the weather held, or perhaps the bed linen; he hadn't taken his shower yet, was lying on his bed, wrapped in a blanket. When I told him that I needed him to get moving so I could get on with the laundry (which, by the way, he had asked me to do today), he laughed and replied "I'll take it under consideration."
He does not understand why I am hurt and angry. He doesn't understand how small he makes me feel when he blows off my concerns, my needs. How ... trivial and unimportant.
I went out to check the mail. While I was out there, I checked the recycling bin - it was empty, so I pulled it back to the house - a mitzvah for my son. He came and fussed at me for doing it. No word of thanks, just ... complaint.
Sometimes I think it would be so easy to die. I feel like nothing a lot of the time anyway. A small voice, easily ignored, only noticed when things aren't going right.