Kimochi
Lately I've been scared by a vision....Vision of my future...I've been dreaming about it two weeks ago...Little by little I'm starting to believing that's how my life will go....This morning I even cried literally when I woke up from my sleep and terrified...
Last week I've been out with my Smappies...I felt so happy that I finally gonna have a neutralizer for my pain...Laugh and laugh all the way that evening...eat and eat..hahaha...
I went home and forgetting those pain I have....I thought it's for good, like it usually does, but the pain came again....Perhaps it because lots of events happened....And the pressure I got...Being left out each of the time...Time goes by you know...!!!For everyone, but it seemed like not for me...
Soooo...until this morning my chest was narrow...I barely able to breath sometimes...Tears often fell without me realizing it...At a bus, I was so ashamed....It's ME, a person that never let her tears fall especially in front of people, but now I think I've let 1 liter of tears from my eyes just by this 2 weeks.
I became a cold person... I thought of letting it go but I can't change my act...Not now I guess...This time I'm in a "blaming everything" phase...It's not good...Dame kore...But I just can't stop....They are really leaving me....The vision is slowly becoming into reality....I'm scared...Where should I go?????
So I went to work this morning, still being cold to everyone... "Ahhh...I wanna hurry finish today's work and go...home or anywhere..." that's what I thought...And suddenly I got a text message from one of Smappies that they have plans to spent night at karaoke....And "BOOM" no need second thoughts...I say I wanna come...
And finally I had lots of fun with them....That's all that I need right now...Lots of fun...
I wish I won't have those horrible vision anymore...Not only the vision, but also in my reality...I don't wanna end up like that
Last week I've been out with my Smappies...I felt so happy that I finally gonna have a neutralizer for my pain...Laugh and laugh all the way that evening...eat and eat..hahaha...
I went home and forgetting those pain I have....I thought it's for good, like it usually does, but the pain came again....Perhaps it because lots of events happened....And the pressure I got...Being left out each of the time...Time goes by you know...!!!For everyone, but it seemed like not for me...
Soooo...until this morning my chest was narrow...I barely able to breath sometimes...Tears often fell without me realizing it...At a bus, I was so ashamed....It's ME, a person that never let her tears fall especially in front of people, but now I think I've let 1 liter of tears from my eyes just by this 2 weeks.
I became a cold person... I thought of letting it go but I can't change my act...Not now I guess...This time I'm in a "blaming everything" phase...It's not good...Dame kore...But I just can't stop....They are really leaving me....The vision is slowly becoming into reality....I'm scared...Where should I go?????
So I went to work this morning, still being cold to everyone... "Ahhh...I wanna hurry finish today's work and go...home or anywhere..." that's what I thought...And suddenly I got a text message from one of Smappies that they have plans to spent night at karaoke....And "BOOM" no need second thoughts...I say I wanna come...
And finally I had lots of fun with them....That's all that I need right now...Lots of fun...
I wish I won't have those horrible vision anymore...Not only the vision, but also in my reality...I don't wanna end up like that