NavyBlue Flowers
- Title: NavyBlue Flowers
- Author : Himawari aka Sunflower without Sun.
- Translator: me aka Tse
- Link fic: gtopvn.forumvi.com/t69-topic
- Credit: got her permission to translate and post here
- Category : Romance, Sad (a little)
- Disclaimer : Forever they don’t belong to me but this story is mine.
- Rating : K
- Pairing : GTOP
- Status : completed
- Summary : I love the sea and I love you…(not at all exist in this fic =]] )
- Warning : there is nothing to warn, it is for everyone even primary students, hi…
- Notes :
• This story is for people loving the brand Himawari, and is is a gift for romantic readers (not me *laugh*)
• There are some details taking from a real story, however, I don’t copy anything from things called Noble souls, what are real details and whom do they take from? Only personally I know ..:]]
• A new test, an unhumorous-Hima - hope all of you to encourage me. Although it brings you a sad color, it follows my rules, what are the rules, reading to know, he he…
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I myself was special. Be a special individual comparing with other ones around….Thinking that the thing would make me stand out in relief, but in contrast, it did me split out from the crowd. That thing changed as I met him….
Born and grown up in a busy city, I was taught how to be competitive and selfish. Always did I want to really be outstanding. When I was a child in the kindergarten, unlike other children were learning to read the letters, I had read “Tin Tin’s travel to moon” comic books. While they gave up as facing a difficult exercise, I was sitting and happily whistled to write my answer. I also did not show much more my knowledge so that people did not bother me during lunch time. The reason of that, it was I don’t want to share anything.
I could not speak more than two sentences to those who didn’t have the same opinions with me, also did not like telling them to understand what I was doing. The reason of that, it was I just think for myself.
The world in everyone’s mind was vastly larger, but it was too small to me and included just me with myself. That was enough.
I didn’t have many friends and one was enough to me. Injuries in the past made me callus and I hated to sit tight like a fool and vaguely thinking about how to overcome mental pain. Pain? Where emotion went, the answer was a very far place. I thought that if my parents knew I became like this, they would really suffer very much. But I could not absolutely say that the causes come from my parents, I did not shift the blame on some body because that’s everyone’s fault. Just sometimes, I felt a bit lonely in my own shell but I didn’t like to go out. Noise, boisterousness, jealousness ... Car fumes, road dust, dirty water ... mingle, mingle….
.
.
.
- We must split up! - Sung Mi said in her short way and then she turned away.
- Wait ... - I clung to her hand to looking forward to hearing an explanation…
- You only think for yourself, have you ever done for me? I'm sorry!
- She cut me out of her hands and then ran quickly to the car parking in front of the park. And Sung Mi was sobbing in the arms of men in that car.
- Choi Seung Hyun,…. you're a fool - with a soft smile on my lips, I kicked pebbles under my feet and then walked away.
Strangely, I thought I escaped from the world of myself, but unexpectedly did she coldly push me farther into my own world. Seven years of love, one hour break ended...
I did not grab her ... I tried my best but she did not want me, nobody could force her, right? But ... the last wall of my belief had completely collapsed, I were burying myself in the abyss of my soul. Suddenly, I wanted to die more than ever ...
....
I wrote the last letter for my parents. Then, I sent a message to my close friend. It was 2 am now, I certain that he already slept. He looked like such a primary school child and readied to sleep in his soft mattress and warm blanket at 10 pm. Therefore, sending at this time led that he would receive it tomorrow... and ... when he got it, I already left from the world.
Beep...beep…
This message had been sent!
I tired entering the bathroom and prepare to open two bleach bottles that contains fluoride ... After that, when toxic gas sent out, it stormed into my nose, my mouth, and went straight into my lung. And, quickly, I would go away…. forever ... to my own world ...
...Beep beep beep...
The phone rang at the midnight, it was hurried and hasten. Did my friend stay up late? Want to advise me?
Falteringly, I opened the cover of my phone and quickly discovered a strange phone number calling for me, that bell was increasingly urgent.
I looked in the bathroom, worried about toxic gas slowly spreading everywhere in the air, and then I looked at the senseless number range, my heart was fulfilled by an incomprehensible feeling, and I pressed the listen button unconsciously.
"IDIOT!...................."
A voice like yelling out came from the other end. I almost fell down because of the sound effects. Taking several seconds to determine everything, I whispered to answer:
- Yoboseyo ...
- ARE YOU ALIVE??
- Who are you?
- I ASK THAT ARE YOU ALIVE?
- Don’t you hear that I’m answering? The dead can do that?
- Uhm... uhm... - I heard his embarrassed voice and smiled when imagining his puzzled face.
- Who are you?
- You send me a message to say that you want to die so... I ... I...
.
.
Sometimes I thought that I was very calm, like this moment. But I was in terror one minute ago. People standing in the border of their life and death were really weird, to a certain extent, which I thought I sent my friend a message but took wrong number of the other stranger. The result is that I was given a lecture about the importance of life with some frequency of sound when singing hard rock.
- ... in a word, life is important. Understand?
- Yes, completely do!
- So do you want to die again?
- Yes...
- %#*@^%)...
- Why do I have to live?
- You live for yourself, don’t you?
- Personally I don’t have anything to try to live, all is fail!
- So ... ... live for me, okay?
- For you? - I smiled slightly - you think who the hell are you?
- I am Kwon Ji Yong!
So, Ji Yong and I had known each other as well! Beside his name, all things I knew that he was 23 years old and lived in a certain town near the sea. I did not like to learn more about a stranger, yet he messaged and called for me every day. The first question he told me is always: are you alive? (It made me laugh, if I was the death, how could I answer him?).
But after he called me on the first time, I didn’t understand the reason why I didn’t want to die anymore. The only thing that I wanted was to play the last game of my life and to see how long Ji Yong could last my life. I started applying for job, trying being busy, as Ji Yong's advice. My work required me to concentrate, so I did not have time to think around. In those days, Ji Yong’s calls and messages were always by my side. At first I found it annoying to answer his nonsense questions, something like that: Have you gone home yet? Are you tired? I'm working, a lot of fun, blah blah...
Gradually, I considered that I needed that inconvenience. If Ji Yong’s messages come late, I would be worried in the stomach even restlessness. Step by step, I was actively message for him, but I did not know what to say, just some thing like: What are you doing there? Eating yet?...... Sometimes I also found myself as romantic as he did before. Day by day, I was addicted to Ji Yong’s messages and started looking forward his reply.
- Where do you live?
- A town by the sea, I already say it, right? Do you hear the sound of wave? - Then he put his phone away, where surf was whispering.
- Specifically, where?
- Guess it!
- Don’t like to guess, tell me...
- Don’t like to say, ha ha...
Ji Yong always avoided my private questions like he tried to hide something to me. Because I hated curious people, in addition to wonder about Ji Yong’s mysteries, sometimes, I found myself gradually changed. At work, I knew more many friends, and instead of thinking about myself, I started thinking to others as Ji Yong’s words (my heart was wondering why I hear him?). For example, Ms. Sung Ae, the manager of my company, looked very attractive, gentle but powerful indeed. Once, I saw her helping a child out town to avoid from a group of hooligans in street. At that time, I was going to come out but five of them fell down on ground, and everyone knew the reason. Also, Mr. Min Young with bald head liked watching TV series, especially to romantic ones. So I brought my DVD movies to give him (they were purchased for me by Sung Mi so that they watched together but I often fell asleep while watching it)... Much, much more...
All of them returned from Ji Yong ...
Suddenly I wanted to meet Ji Yong, be next to him, and he would talk to me all day ...
- Hey, let me meet you!
- What for?
- There is no reason why we’re like this forever?
- So is it not good?
- Absolutely not ...
- Who's care! ^ ^
Today, Ji Yong refused me again. However, he intelligently used his own way "both hitting and rubbing" as sending me his photo. Holding it on hand, I smiled softly: white skin, red hair and slim appearance. In that picture, he sat on the beach and his eyes full of confidence looked at a far lighthouse and it was a very specially sad, transparent and half-smiling half-crying eye.
But that picture made me want to meet him more and more, to look at his eyes by my own ones, to touch his white skin, want more, so much more ... Why did not you want to meet me?
In two days, Ji Yong had no message for me, this was unusual. Of course, I also actively called for him but the switchboard always told that: the number you called has died, please....
What happened to Ji Yong?
One more person left me, didn’t he?
I was so angry that I threw my phone at the wall and sat down on my bed, where were you?
Why did you disappear from my life?
Beep ... beep ... beep ...
The bell pulled me out of my thought and I rushed to get the phone, a strange number...
- Yoboseyo...
- Seung Hyun? I’m Ji Yong ... I’m here- listen to his voice, I suddenly trembled ...
- Why...
- ...I lost my phone ... - Ji Yong interrupted my words ...
- Lost?
- Yes, I put it in my coat pocket and left it in the car to go shopping, so... Hi hi, I has just bought a new phone, you have to save my phone number...
- Haizz ... - I breathed out- You make me think that some problem happened with you ...
- Do you miss me? - Yong suddenly interrupted me again
- Yes, very much, so much to die! - A strong feeling made me uncontrollable.
- Babo... Who is dead? You must live, understand?
- We will meet, won’t we?
The answer was the same as it before, Yong seems to evade me. Some days later, I received a gift in the mail. It's a big package wrapping by green adorned with white paper and I did not see the sender's name. I carefully removed every layer of wrapper and sticking-plastic. There was a navy-blue flowers making by paper, outlined by a layer of transparent paper along with four layers of colorful paper around, ending by a lightly pink ribbon tied to an awkward bow. Enclosing with it is a shell and a letter containing lightly characters.
Sending to Seung Hyun, for you!
If it is bad, you might already hold it, try to keep well, I made it by myself!
Besides, I enclose a shell for you, when being sad, you can press it against your ear to hear!
Be more optimistic, Seung Hyun fighting!!!!^^
Signed: Ji Yong
Unconsciously, tears flowed out of cheeks softly ...
Why was there a person making a hopeful colored flower because of me?
Was I deserved?
Tears dropped ...
For…
Happiness...
.
.
.
After a tiring work day, I laid on the floor and looked up at flowers on the desk...
Blue flowers...
I sat up, holding hands...
- Seung Hyun, fighting!
Recommending for myself, I think so.
...
... ..
I sat before the mirror and held the bouquet ...
Blue flowers ...
Ji Yong made it by himself?
I became sentimental like women...
...
... ..
- Yoboseyo!
- Ms. Sung-ae, tomorrow I want to be on leave!
- Do you have a vacation?
- Well, going to find blue flowers...
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I sat in a wheelchair to watch the sea and the wind stormed a salty acrid smell into my nose. The sun had just half-opened at the bottom of the foot lighthouse. From to now, I had called for Seung Hyun in one year and lots of things happened. The doctor told that I would be totally paralyzed from the accident. I almost wanted to die. I was a dancing artist but my legs were disabled like this, I became a disabled person, my uncle promised to invest my study but he had written to refuse, that’s of course, no one wanted to concern about a useless person like me. I crouched and hated everything around. That night, while walking on the beach, I got a weird message. That was a person wanted to die just because everyone turned back to him, he did not have any hope to cling on his life at all...
The same as me, completely...
Why must I leave this world?
If my fate was cruel, why did I let things run their course?
He and I...
Two people…
Two worlds...
A same fate...
Why didn’t we rely on each other?
I advised for not only him but also myself. But when he gradually expanded his world, I feared that he would forget me ...
Actually contradicted ...
I feared, when he met me and saw a disabled man like me, whether he considered me as a boredom and left? I both frightened and caught...
Too selfish ...
Making blue flowers for him, I gave him my hope, my trust, and wished him to be brave. Seung Hyun, I love you, love you so much... Suddenly, my tears overflowed, they were sparkling as the sea was illuminated by the sun...
- Who is the idiot here, huh?
I turned back, the warmly husky voice was not coming from the phone, but from behind me.
- Seung Hyun Seung ... ...-I stammered
He was coming toward me, holding blue flowers with a bright smile and he was similar to a god stepping up from the sea. He sat in front of my wheelchair, gave me the flowers and touched his hand on my cheek gently.
- Why can you find this place? -my tears dropped again and my voice was choked by ones.
- For it ... His eyes also glittered in bright water and his finger pointed on the distant lighthouse. It was being covered the sun and left from the lonely look of cold night.
While I was seeing the lighthouse, he suddenly pulled slightly over my head ...
And...
... Placed a kiss on my lips.
I find the taste of the sea on his soft lips.
I was a lighthouse showing everything at night
He was the sun illuminating everything in the daytime...
The sun could not see the moon but could see the lighthouse.
...
We kissed for a long time, our tears mixed together, fell down...
.
…blue flowers ...
The End.
13/09/2010
For the one I love.
Poster: This fic belongs to my friend, Himawari. I just convert it into English to share here. Hima and I hope to see your respones. Thank you for reading.