Gah.

[kimsmith]

I talked with Lila for a while today, it made me feel so much better than I've been feeling. She's amazing, the way she rises above everything that's been happening and just accepting people for who they are and how they really feel, while not hiding her emotions. I really admire you for that, Lila.

Meg, I don't know all the details of some of the problems and issues you've been having, but I'm here if you want to talk. Remember that it's never too late to start over and change things into what you want them to be. You're one of the most inspiring people I have ever known, and I mean that. The way you handle yourself despite all your shortcomings (and you're the first to point them out) is incredible.

I figured out what's been keeping me down..it's about a boy. It doesn't make sense why I feel the way I do, because I never thought that I could fall for someone who didn't treat me a certain way. Everything I know about this person is different than what I've always thought I wanted, but suddenly my thoughts are taken over by him. I can't do anything without thinking about him. Before I get too into the details, I'm going to stop thinking about what i'm writing and just give you this...


I hurt: When I see people I care about hurting
I love: Lots of people
I hate: To feel alone
I cry: When something hurts me deeply
I fear: Ending up by myself
I hope: I can make someone happy someday
I sadden: ...over sad things?
I kill: Bugs with my winshield..sorry..
I feel: Nervous
I talk: Way too much! Sorry guys.
I listen: Hmm? Just kidding.
I break: When things pile up on me and I can't take it anymore
I see: Yogurt, water, and my fish
I smell: Friends. Haha. One in particular, but we won't go there. Smelly.
I taste: All the food I'm eating!
I work: Because I love what I do
I remember: Being nervous about how I looked in swimsuits and lingerie
I hold: Lots of pens, and sometimes cameras!
I hide: When I don't want to say something or when I've said too much
I pray: To God
I walk: To calm down
I drive: An Eclipse, but I want an Aztek. Don't ask.
I burn: When I lose something I care about deeply
I breathe: By default
I play: As often as my schedule allows ;D
I miss: Someone..
I touch: As many people as I can
I feel: Really, really nervous
I know: Lots of things
I said: Who I was thinking about, to Lila
I dream: Often
I have: A heck of a lot.
I want: Something to sleep to at night
I fall: Unexpectedly
I wait: For answers...wow..that was really cheesy. Oh well.
I need: People to get online.
I live: In my huge house, when I'm there.
I'll die: Just like everyone else
Current music: Dashboard Confessional
Current hair: Dark, wavy, and hanging loose
Current dress: A tube top and shorts with flip-flops
Current thing I ought to be doing: Sleeping, but I can't
Current windows open: AIM, LJ, WinMX
Current desktop picture: From my friend Stephanie - -


She must have been bored, but I think it's sort of adorable.
Current favorite artist: Hmm..I have a painting on my wall by Edward Robert Hughes.."Midsummer Eve." It's my favorite.
Current favorite group: My friends
Current book: Just finished one, so currently I'm on YM.
Current CDs in stereo: Bebo Norman, Vanessa Carlton, Hoobastank
Current color of toenails: Hot pink
Current worry: If I talk about it, I'll worry even more, so you just get to wonder.
Current favorite celeb: :runs away and hides: I think I'm gonna pass on saying. :D

Okay, well that was long. Uh, I have lots to think about, and I should try to get some sleep. Not that it's going to happen.