My Birthday is soon :)
Been busy, but the highlights are:
Gelati's twice (its like ice cream but better! and i probably spelled it wrong)
Rodney's Birthday, then Mike's Birthday (Happy Birthday boys!)
Talked to Ashley for like an hour
Gym, then panera where I killed my phone, then Billy's to watch Star Wars Episode 1 (apparently I have to see all of them now)
Lilly's graduation party
yea, thats all kinds of out of order but whatever.
Ok and now the big stuff. My parents actually left me and Steff home alone this weekend for the first time ever! They went to Tampa to find my dad an apartment, which he did, the first place he looked. They left at 7am Saturday morning and came home Sunday night at 7pm. Worst part was that me and Steff had to be home by Midnight on Saturday (like my parents where gunna call the house to make sure and stuff) and we both ended up home before like 10am! I got home first and talked on the phone til Steff got home....b/c yes i'm a baby and it was a little scary!
So my Dad is moving on Saturday. it just hit me last night that he was moving. I've gotten used to him being around the house all the time. like him always being here when i got home from school and stuff. its gunna be weird. i'm gunna miss him a lot more than i realize I think. last time he moved it was here. he came down in December and we followed him when school got out in July. At that point I was used to him being at work most of the time and it wasn't all that big, but now its a whole year and I'm used to him being around all the time. i don't like this whole idea...but theres not much i can do, just grow up and deal w/it I guess. but i'm going to miss my daddy :(
Also I have Orientation Wednesday and Thursday (yes on my birthday!) then I have training next week and I shadow someone the following week, then i guess i start on my own :) i've excited....nervous, but excited!
I keep thinking (and i keep saying i need to stop this, but it just keeps happening, i can't seem to help it!) and i'm not really sure where this thinking comes from. i'm a very happy person, always have been. but i'm thinkin thats about it, theres not so much more too me, and i am so being compleatly honest. i've been noticing that being so happy all the time leads to a very lonely feeling most of the time. not that my happiness is fake, i can't help being happy and perky around people, i hate it when people are always down and upset and stuff all the time so I make a choice not to be. I'm a firm believer in the idea that we all have a choice, to wake up in the morning and decide if it will be a good day or a bad day, decide if you want to be nice or be mean, decide to smile or frown, decide is we will be positive or negative, decide if our life will meaningful or meaningless, basicly I think we have much more control over our emotions and our feelings than we give ourself credit for. And I think we use that as an excuse, people will say "i did something mean b/c i was having a bad day"....no you did something mean because you decided it would make you feel better. I am able to be nice to people that I don't care too much for, I don't understand why others can't do that as well. Its not being fake and its not being two-faced, its just be considerate and decent. But I suppose its my own fault, I just have an enormous wall that i am wonderful at hiding, the secret is to keep people from feeling that they need to look. This is part of the reason, i suppose, that I love being around a large group of people....less attention focused on one person, makes the hiding behind a loud, perky smile that much easier...otherwise i start thinking all these kinds things....and i don't think i would ever be able to really say them out loud. i love avoidence and I recently found out that I get it from my mother, but i make the choice to use it whenever possible.
And now off the shower and head to bed. I have to talk to my teacher about whether there is a possibly i could stay in the class or now....i'm guessing not, but it can't hurt to ask. wish me luck with my new job! i'm excitedly nervous! :) i pick up my stuff for the drug test tomorrow...yea all kinds of now worried about that! they could so just sit down and have one conversation with me and know i'm fine! (which reminds me....yesterday i watched Simply Irrestitably, then Beauty and the Beast, then Thumbelina, AND my mom found an Aladdin box of tissues for me, hehe its fun!)
*~*Good nite :)*~*
PS: My birthday is Thursday (June 2nd) and Jessie and Julie (because they are the bestest and i love them) are having "Kim's Kickin Feista" at Jessie Bauer's house at 8pm! its gunna be the bestest time ever so you should all be there! (this is not a request, you are all now instructed to come) we're playing pocker (with M&Ms, not real money cuz we're cool) and there could be swimming involved (so bring your swim suit) and presents are not mandatory but always welcomed ;) hehe but no really i just want you to come :) call, email or something if you need directions