Comments | kimonkey7: FIC: Lake Effect (1/2)

kimonkey7

FIC: Lake Effect (1/2) - Complete

Apr 06, 2007 06:38

Title: Lake Effect
Author: kimonkey7
Rating: PG-13 for strong language
Pairings: none, teen!Dean, tween!Sam (gen)
Disclaimer: not mine, damn it.
Word Count: 14,866 total (parts one and two)
Summary: Pre-series. Perception of our own maturity is sometimes as murky as lake water.

A/N: The first 1400 words of this were flist-lock posted as a one-shot ( Read more... )

fic, spn

Comments 19

quellefromage April 6 2007, 15:04:07 UTC

Mmmmmmmp. God, I just love Sam in this.

Sam’s forehead took up residence on his porched arms, and he brought his chin down against his chest. He breathed in and out through his mouth several times, building up the moisture and heat in the box canyon of his bent limbs. When he spoke, the words echoed against the table and around his ears. “I don’t want you to go.”

the box canyon of his bent limbs...jeebus. There are people writing in this fandom that I study to improve my own writing, and you're one of them. Your talent for description just blows me away sometimes. It's like a language buffet. I have to go back and read passages a few times, just to savor the words. Thankfully, you don't have any calories. *grins*

kimonkey7 April 7 2007, 00:31:15 UTC

You know, I'll admit to really loving myself for that phrase "...box canyon of his bent limbs." I think it might be my most favorite image in the whole fic. So it tickles me to know end that you pointed it out.

You and me and this fic...we have a history. And I'm glad for it. You made this a better story, dollface. You really did.

*HUGE HUGS*

anonymous April 6 2007, 18:33:02 UTC

You do this thing to me when you write, and this story.... This story was like creepy and moody and sent me back to old musty cabins and wearing shoes in the water.... You took me home, to those dark woods where I grew up. That fear of drowning in the water when swimming when you weren't suppose to. You brought back that feeling of being 14 and having stuff dumped on your shoulders. I could SMELL! the cabin, and see the old worn tiled floor, I know what that screen door looks like.

I loved this story, really I do have better less gushy things to say, but right now, this very second FUCK you rock.

lemmypie April 6 2007, 20:16:01 UTC

that's me! There with the "anonymous"

kimonkey7 April 7 2007, 00:33:28 UTC

Just, huge fucking love to you, babe.

I know that cabin, too. And the lake and the raft...all the smells and the noises and the itch of misquitoes under swirls of Crest toothpaste...

Just, huge fucking love to you, babe.

*hugs*

lemmypie April 7 2007, 14:09:13 UTC

Right back at you.....
*hugs* love *hugs*
mand aren't we just so emo and girlie?

(The comment has been removed)

kimonkey7 April 7 2007, 00:35:39 UTC

Hi, sweets! *hugs* Missed you. :) And I'm glad you like it so far!

YAY!!!

(The comment has been removed)

kimonkey7 April 7 2007, 01:32:20 UTC

Heee! Yay!

Also: Hi! *waves* How are you? *hugs*

(The comment has been removed)

kimonkey7 April 7 2007, 03:47:52 UTC

How are you doing?

To paraphrase Bob Dylan, 'I'm not doin' too bad, but I could be doin' a whole lot better...'

Gettin' there. Thanks.

Miss you guys, though. :)

iamstealthyone April 7 2007, 04:15:48 UTC

Ooh, this is a very intriguing fic! I like the buildup, how Dean doesn’t know exactly what’s going on, and Sam goes from teasing to worried, and then the hunt is on.

I like how you’re writing both boys, and pissy, puberty-ridden Dean and tattletale Sam at the beginning amused me. *g* You do a good job showing how they don’t always get along. (I love Sam’s version of “Frere Jacques.” *g*)

For some reason I was unable to highlight and copy text so I could quote favorite lines back to you. Argh! So … I just picked a few lines here and there since I’m too lazy to type out tons of lines. *g*

Favorite lines:

Dean hated the sight of her soft, pink scalp peeking between the rows of snowy hair.

Great detail.

“And his brother’d probably taken great pains to detail all of it for their dad. Little fucker probably made a pie-graph.

LOL!
“You stopped breathing, Dean, and then you were coughing up water.” Sam almost cried when he said the last; cried because it was all too much to comprehend, and he was scared.

So was Dean.

Oh, boys.

( ... )

kimonkey7 April 8 2007, 02:05:21 UTC

*hugs*

Aw, thank you! And, as usual, you've picked some of my favorite lines, here. I'm sorry my LJ was being all wonky for you - I've had the highlighting trouble before myself.

*kicks LJ*

But thank you so much for going to the extra effort to do your usual kick-ass feedback thing.

iamstealthyone April 8 2007, 03:12:02 UTC

I'm sorry my LJ was being all wonky for you - I've had the highlighting trouble before myself.

*kicks LJ*

Glad I'm not the only one to run into this problem.

*kicks LJ with you*