Another Fun Filled Day!

[kimmerson0022]

Well, I think i can honestly say that things can't get any worse. I have 2 jobs now and I am not very fond of either of them but its money until I find something better. I'm sitting in study hall right now with a bunch of loser kids and its not fun at all. I'm getting excited about the summer tho, I really need a vacation. I guess even if Gino doesn't want us to come out there in June I'll still go for Angelas sake. Apparently little miss smart angela decided to dump water on Tony at lunch so he pushed her and who knows what happened now. I really hate this place but summer is comin up. We only have like 7 school days left til spring break so thats good. I dont think I can take another month of school and tests. I'm so tired especially today because Gino called me at 3:00 am and screamed wake up in my ear! Then he hung up and waited for me to just start fallin back asleep and called again to talk lol. thanks a lot! I dont really know how I feel about him at all, I really dont think I have any feelings for him tho. I used to look forward to his phone calls but then I realized he's not the person I expect him to be and he never will be. Not that I expect him personally to be this loving guy, but thats what I expect out of a boyfriend period. But then he says things like things would be different if he were here and we would probably be together and I think about whether I would be happy with him or not. I dont really think so tho. I never think about him and I couldn't care less if he calls me or not and sometimes I contemplate even picking up my phone at all. I finally accepted that things with Chris will never be the same and its pretty much over so I really dont have that I love him so much feeling in my mind for anyone at all. I used to wish things were back to the way they were before all this bullshit happened but its obvious that hes done so I'm not going to let myself cry and worry if I'll ever be that happy again cuz I know I will. I was happy with Gino but I realized I didn't have any feelings for him so I'm not sad about that. I guess I really dont feel anything towards anyone anymore, I'm just numb on the inside.And thats cool with me because it has to be. I can't dwell in the past I have to move on even tho its hard. I woulda been better this time tho I know that. I guess I'll just save this new effort for someone who needs me too. Cuz i know for a fact that I need someone, I just can't figure out who without knowing who needs me too. I'm outta here now thanks for reading!
<3 kimberly