I didn't pay attention in class when they were teaching celibacy in Kemahiran Hidup
Some days, I wonder how my heart works. Why I still love the people I do and why I feel happyhappy when I see them and get all awkward when I imagine them with someone else. There's no real basis for it, but I believe strongly in what the zodiac tells us about the people around us (mostly because I've had so much real life experience which proves that these profiles are actually pretty accurate). I used to lie awake at night, staring at the darkness, trying to figure out how to stop thinking about the past, but now I realise that I wouldn't even be here if I didn't make the mistakes I did. At the end of it all, there's this empty ache because I don't know whether I really made the right choice. I still haven't changed, I guess. I'm still ready to do the silly things I always said I would do for someone whom I love. I still wear sleeveless shirts and dress so casually people always mistake me for a student or someone's younger brother (yes, I know. Real men wear collared T-shirts, apparently).
I want hugs and soft kisses which make my heart beat faster. I want someone to talk to (yeah, I suck at listening). Someone to buy nice things for. But most of all, I just want to go back to a simple time when everything was clear-cut, my feelings were so clear and I woke up every morning remembering why I was doing all this. Everything is so tangled, but there are still simple things inside me. I'm just not sure what I can do now, everything seems so complicated and laden with hidden meanings.
I've been listening to Annett Louisan's not-so-new but hip album quite a bit recently, but I always glossed over one song because it was so cheery and upbeat. While waiting for someone to come online (yeah, you! Why do you think I'm online so often? xD), I actually listened to the lyrics and I was surprised. She put it in such a light and airy manner, but anyone who has ever loved someone and still has not moved on will understand what she's saying here:
Du hast dich nicht verwählt,
ich habe nur mein Herz mit meinem Telefon und mein PC vernetzt.
Wenn du mir sagen willst,
dass du jetzt um mich weinst,
drück die eins
No, you haven't got the wrong number,
I've just connected my heart to my phone and my PC
If you'd like to tell me,
that you're crying for me now,
press #1
Wenn du mich fragen willst,
ob ich noch sauer bin,
ob wir uns treffen könn´n,
von wegen Neubeginn
oder wer weiss was sonst für eine Heuchelei,
drück die zwei
If you want to ask me,
if I'm still mad at you,
or if we could meet up,
and discuss getting together again
or who knows what kind of crazy ideas you have,
press #2
Brauchst du Hilfe bei der Frage
wie´s mir geht in meiner Lage-
ich Gefühle für dich hege oder Groll.
Wieviel ich dir glauben sollte,
was ich jetzt noch von dir halte
und wie oft mir so was noch passieren soll,
drück die null
If you need help figuring out
how I'm doing here now
or whether I still have feelings for you or plain hate you.
How much I should trust you,
what I still think of you,
and how often something like this should happen again,
press #0
Her voice is so sugary in this song, only the last lines of the song give you an idea of how much sadness there is in these things (here's where I do the obligatory "Ahhh, I want to date someone like her!" statement).
People say I'm shameless and crazy, but when I saw her smiling, I wished that I had been able to sneak up and sing:
Once upon a time I was failing in class,
now I'm only falling in love.
There's nothing I can do, roti canai's bad for the heart.
See! Even I'm shy sometimes! ^^
On a happier note, I was having late-night nasi lemak with some old friends (and a future terrorist), and these indian guys were running a really tight ship. They had trays of drinks ready, you order and they grab one and the kitchen guy would replenish it. They had a huge cooking surface where there were at least 10 eggs being fried at once. The waiters would walk past the kitchen and shout stuff like " ....NASI LEMAK AYAM TELUR GORENG ". They even walked so fast that you feel like you're stuck in a game of Diner Dash. But I think the best part was when the guy came up to *kira*, he cleared the plates, and instantly reeled off a number. I was so impressed with the guy, I did a little *tabik hormat* and he said with a half-serious smile "Manyak makan nasi lemak boleh jadi ini macam!" *shake head*.
I wonder how people do the whole celibacy thing. They make it seem so easy T_T
I want hugs and soft kisses which make my heart beat faster. I want someone to talk to (yeah, I suck at listening). Someone to buy nice things for. But most of all, I just want to go back to a simple time when everything was clear-cut, my feelings were so clear and I woke up every morning remembering why I was doing all this. Everything is so tangled, but there are still simple things inside me. I'm just not sure what I can do now, everything seems so complicated and laden with hidden meanings.
I've been listening to Annett Louisan's not-so-new but hip album quite a bit recently, but I always glossed over one song because it was so cheery and upbeat. While waiting for someone to come online (yeah, you! Why do you think I'm online so often? xD), I actually listened to the lyrics and I was surprised. She put it in such a light and airy manner, but anyone who has ever loved someone and still has not moved on will understand what she's saying here:
Du hast dich nicht verwählt,
ich habe nur mein Herz mit meinem Telefon und mein PC vernetzt.
Wenn du mir sagen willst,
dass du jetzt um mich weinst,
drück die eins
No, you haven't got the wrong number,
I've just connected my heart to my phone and my PC
If you'd like to tell me,
that you're crying for me now,
press #1
Wenn du mich fragen willst,
ob ich noch sauer bin,
ob wir uns treffen könn´n,
von wegen Neubeginn
oder wer weiss was sonst für eine Heuchelei,
drück die zwei
If you want to ask me,
if I'm still mad at you,
or if we could meet up,
and discuss getting together again
or who knows what kind of crazy ideas you have,
press #2
Brauchst du Hilfe bei der Frage
wie´s mir geht in meiner Lage-
ich Gefühle für dich hege oder Groll.
Wieviel ich dir glauben sollte,
was ich jetzt noch von dir halte
und wie oft mir so was noch passieren soll,
drück die null
If you need help figuring out
how I'm doing here now
or whether I still have feelings for you or plain hate you.
How much I should trust you,
what I still think of you,
and how often something like this should happen again,
press #0
Her voice is so sugary in this song, only the last lines of the song give you an idea of how much sadness there is in these things (here's where I do the obligatory "Ahhh, I want to date someone like her!" statement).
People say I'm shameless and crazy, but when I saw her smiling, I wished that I had been able to sneak up and sing:
Once upon a time I was failing in class,
now I'm only falling in love.
There's nothing I can do, roti canai's bad for the heart.
See! Even I'm shy sometimes! ^^
On a happier note, I was having late-night nasi lemak with some old friends (and a future terrorist), and these indian guys were running a really tight ship. They had trays of drinks ready, you order and they grab one and the kitchen guy would replenish it. They had a huge cooking surface where there were at least 10 eggs being fried at once. The waiters would walk past the kitchen and shout stuff like " ....NASI LEMAK AYAM TELUR GORENG ". They even walked so fast that you feel like you're stuck in a game of Diner Dash. But I think the best part was when the guy came up to *kira*, he cleared the plates, and instantly reeled off a number. I was so impressed with the guy, I did a little *tabik hormat* and he said with a half-serious smile "Manyak makan nasi lemak boleh jadi ini macam!" *shake head*.
I wonder how people do the whole celibacy thing. They make it seem so easy T_T