Rhythmic Emotions
Title: Rhythmic Emotions ( I suck at titles, i know >.<)
Genre: Romance, Drama,Angst, FAIL!humor *seriously*
Pairing: Forever my otp <3 Yunjae
Disclaimer: If I by any chance happened to own them, i wouldn't even let them leave a room without the other :D
unbeta-ed
So on to the story...
---
Jaejoong silently sipped the cup of tea in his hands. His eyes were trained at the window beside him as he watched people and cars pass by, his mind drowned in all the thoughts that bothered him continuously.
To be quite honest, he didn’t even know what he was doing in this restaurant in the first place. Why had he agreed to meet him anyway? His life was already, had finally gone the right path. He was able to glue himself back together again, of course with the help of his new lover- the lover that never gave up until he had finally agreed to go out with him. So why was he out here, without the knowledge of his boyfriend, meeting up with his ex-lover?
Flashback
Jaejoong was busy reading some files for work when he heard his phone beep. Thinking it was his boyfriend, he quickly reached for the phone sitting on his desk and clicked on the message
From: Unknown Number
02-12-20xx
Jaejoong, it’s me. I’m back home…
I heard you’re already with someone else now.
But I have to talk to you. I know we hadn’t parted in the best way, so we have to do this.
I’ll meet you at the usual place.8pm.
P.S. I don’t know if I’m still allowed to say this…but I love you…and I miss you so much…
I’ll be waiting…..
He had stared at the message in shock for a few minutes before he woke up from his daze. He hadn’t been able to do anything that morning as he thought about what to do. Should he go? But that would mean he’d be betraying his present lover and that he still hasn’t changed and was still the weak Kim Jaejoong that was always at his beck and call… and he wasn’t, he really wasn’t, not anymore.…
Should he not go then? He knew this was the right thing to do, after all he was the one who left Jaejoong hanging, and he was the one who had broken Jaejoong until he couldn’t find some pieces of his self anymore…then again, he couldn’t deny the fact that he still had some feelings for the said man. He was his first love; therefore he really was someone Jaejoong wasn’t able to forget that easily… He was so confused… He was torn between his present life- his passionate lover, his blossoming career, his loyal friends-his perfect life- and his past- his ex-lover that he had loved with all he had and had once been his life and world as well…
His musings were interrupted as a familiar figure loomed over his table. He carefully moved his eyes from the window as his gaze landed on the still attractive face.
“ Hello Jaejoong-ah,” his voice was still the same beautiful timbre that never failed to make Jaejoong feel butterflies in his stomach, even until now
Jaejoong blinked and swallowed as he acknowledged the other man’s presence, “ Hyunjoong-ah…”
--
He and Hyunjoong were the best of friends. They met during their first year in high school and remained friends until they both graduated. They were studying in the university when Hyunjoong finally found the nerve to confess his feelings. They both knew they had felt something towards each other but ignored it since they didn’t want to ruin the friendship they had developed for years. They became an official couple and had been each other’s firsts. They’re relationship were going really good until Hyunjoong was granted a scholarship to the Julliard School of Arts in New York on their third year in school thus leading to him leaving for the states and Jaejoong being left alone in Korea. At first they had tried to make the long distance relationship work, but then Hyunjoong suddenly stopped replying to any of Jaejoong’s calls, texts, e-mails and even letters. Jaejoong waited for months for a simple reply, even for a message that told him Hyunjoong already wanted the relationship to end, but none came. Jaejoong was heartbroken, their plans, their future, the dreams Jaejoong built around him,everything… everything was suddenly gone in a blink of an eye and he didn’t know how to go on. That’s when his present boyfriend appeared; he helped Jaejoong get back up, helped Jaejoong glue back the broken pieces of himself. When he thought about it now, could it be that he only went out with him out of gratitude? And now that he could go on his own, he can’t break up with him because he’d only feel guilty?
And yet he’s in the same restaurant again, meeting with his old lover- the one that had left him all alone without any explanation. Why was he here? Why was he risking his two-year old relationship with the best guy he had met for years? Why was he choosing this guy who had hurt him to the point of death over the person who had showed him how to love life once again?
He felt his heart being eaten up with guilt and regret as he read the message the he was about to send to his lover
To: Yunniekins <3
02-18-20xx
Baby, I’m sorry I can’t come with you today.
Something came up. I know we haven’t been able to celebrate Valentine’s Day yet but I promise to make it up to you.
I’m really sorry,Yun. Please forgive me. I’ll see you this weekend, okay?
(He contemplated on whether he should say those three words when he wasn’t sure if he really meant them or not. But in the end, he had still written them on the message- in an effort to ease the swallowing guilt he felt.)
I love you.
He closed his eyes as the guilt doubled up multiple times in his heart. He felt the back of his eyes sting as he read the reply that came almost immediately,
To: Boojae<3
Don’t worry, love. We’ll just spend time together this weekend. I know we’re both busy with work. I understand.
But don’t overwork yourself okay? You have to get some rest, I don’t want you sick.
I love you too<3
P.S I miss you so much xoxo
Oh, how wrong his boyfriend was.
Work? Yeah right.
“ I’m sorry Yunho” he whispered in his heart as a lone tear formed at the corner of his eyes
His musings were once again interrupted as the person he can’t seem to ever forget appeared before him
“Hey, Jae. Sorry, I’m late.” Hyunjoong greeted as he took the seat in front of Jaejoong
Jaejoong took a deep breath and turned to him with a smile, “That’s alright. Should we start to order?”
--
Jaejoong really didn’t know what he was doing. Was he deliberately trying to hurt Yunho by meeting up with Hyunjoong? Will he continue this until his boyfriend finds out that he’s been meeting his ex-lover behind his back? And if Yunho does find out and eventually break up with him, will he go back to Hyunjoong?
So many questions formed in his head, but he didn’t have any answer to any of them.
But still he found himself sitting on the same spot, in the same restaurant, waiting for the same person for the third time that month.
Just as he was busy pondering about what he should be doing to his life, a familiar woman walked in the same restaurant.
He squinted his eyes; he knew that he knew this woman from somewhere; he just couldn’t get his head to remember. Her name was in the tip of his tongue…Where had he seen this woman again? Who was she anyway?
His question was answered when the maitre d’ acknowledged her, “Good evening, Mrs.Jung” he bowed to show his respect for her
‘Shit.’
Jaejoong’s eyes widened and he felt his heart fasten its pace as he finally recognized the woman. It was Yunho’s mother. How could he forget?
Well, in his defense, he had never met the woman anyway, not that Yunho never wanted to introduce him to her, in fact he had always pestered him to finally agree to introduce Jaejoong to his family but it was Jaejoong who refused. For him, introducing someone to a family meant that the commitment was something serious, something that could last forever, and that exactly what Jaejoong was avoiding. He had learned his lesson when he gave his everything to his previous relationship, and this time around he was barely giving, in fact he barely even made time to meet with his lover. For him, their relationship was for companionship. He knew that Yunho was head over heels in love with him, and when Yunho confessed to him, he didn’t have the heart to tell him no, so he agreed. And yes, he was aware that this was very unfair to Yunho, but to be honest, he liked Yunho, he liked him more than a friend, he just wasn’t sure if he loved him enough… and just as he was contemplating on his feelings for Yunho, his ex-lover that he hasn’t quite gotten over with just had to come waltzing in again, making Jaejoong more confused and torn than ever.
He quickly hid himself under the menu when Yunho’s mother walked towards his general direction, then again, she didn’t know him anyway so why was he even hiding?
As he was thinking about what the hell he should do right now, a voice so familiar, he’d recognized it in his sleep, resonated throughout the whole restaurant. His heart almost leaped out of his chest and his eyes widened so much it almost fell out of its sockets when he heard it.
“Umma!”
“Yunho-ah!” the woman confirmed
‘Aw,Fuck.’
Jaejoong felt his stomach lurch and turn so many times, out of nervousness. Yunho was there! In the same restaurant! Where he was about to meet his ex- and Yunho didn’t have any idea about it. Yunho didn’t tell him he was going out tonight, then again he never really cared that much and just let Yunho go wherever he needed to be. He remembered telling Yunho he didn’t have to ask permission about where he went every time. Well, Yunho was always one to follow what Jaejoong said…And this, this is just what they called wrong timing.
Just as Jaejoong continued to curse in his mind, it didn’t occur to him that the mother and son was walking towards his way and had sat at the table in front of him. Good thing the restaurant was arranged in a way that tables were divided by booths therefore Jaejoong had slid down and scooted away so that his backside was facing Yunho, hiding him from view.
He quickly texted Hyunjoong to tell him to postpone their meeting and could only hope that the latter received the message before he arrived.
His heart continued to beat wildly inside his ribs as he thought about a way to get out of the restaurant. He couldn’t possibly just walk towards the main entrance since he had to pass by the two to be able to reach there. He sighed and silently berated himself for managing to get himself into a very deep trouble. He didn’t know he’d be one of those people who got stuck in these kinds of situation. He cant imagine that he’d be one of those people who saw someone else behind their lover’s back. Thinking about it now, he loathed himself for doing this, even if he wasn’t sure if he loved Yunho, the guy didn’t deserve to be treated like this.
Without anything left to do but wait, he unconsciously found himself leaning backwards and eavesdropping on the pair. The mother asked his son of how he was doing, the son answered he was fine and then they went on and talked about the business.
Just then, another figure, a beautiful woman entered the restaurant and glided her way to the Jung’s table. Jaejoong narrowed his eyes, he didn’t remember Yunho mentioning about a sister, all he knew was that Yunho was an only child and had a younger cousin whom he treated as his own brother.
“Seulgi-ah, Good evening. Thank you for agreeing to meet with us.” Yunho’s mother stood up from her seat and hugged the lady
She then turned to Yunho with a smile, “Seulgi-ah, this is my son, Jung Yunho.”
Yunho being the gentleman that he was, bowed down then straightened up to offer one hand for a handshake,
“Good evening,” He greeted and smiled brightly at her (much to Jaejoong’s annoyance, but of course he’d never admit that)
Yunho’s mother giggled at this and Jaejoong couldn’t help but think, ‘What the hell?’
“ Yunho-ah, this is Bae Seulgi-ssi…”
“ Hello, Ms. Bae.”
“…your fiancée.”
Yunho impossibly paled and his smile slowly turned into one of a shock expression,
“MY WHAAT?!!” he exclaimed, flabbergasted
“Your fiancée… you know…someone you have gotten engaged with-“she calmly stated
“Mom!”
“…and have to marry…”
“MOM! I know what a fiancée is! But what I’m trying to say is…..MINE?!” Yunho asked, still shaken because of the revelation
“ Why yes, Yunho-ah…your fiancée.” His mother repeated with a satisfied smile
“I…..”
Nothing got passed Jaejoong’s ears after he heard the word, “fiancée”.
Jaejoong sat stock-still, his eyes widened to its fullest and his hand covered his gaping mouth as the words slowly sank in and registered in his mind.
Yunho….
…Seulgi…
…fiancée?
Yunho was….getting married?
His hand unconsciously found its way to his all of a sudden hurting chest. Why was his heart suddenly in pain? And why was his vision turning blurry?
It wasn’t after the first drop of tear fell on the table that he realized he was crying.
He stole a glance at them and saw Yunho was sitting with his hands on his face as Bae Seulgi sat beside him and tried to comfort him, while Yunho’s mother was still indifferent and oblivious to his son’s predicament.
“But…Mom...I can’t…I…” Yunho stuttered, still unable to believe what was happening
“Don’t tell me you already have a lover Yunho-ah, because if that’s the case then I should have already met that person by this time,” she spoke, as if taunting her son to say otherwise
“ I….No. I don’t…have a lover.” Yunho answered with a defeated sigh, unable to come up with another reasonable excuse
As much as Jaejoong knew that this was all his idea in the first place, he still couldn’t help the stinging pain he felt in his heart at Yunho’s words. He knew it was his fault. He had brought this pain upon himself and he suddenly felt so sick he thought he’d vomit.
“Well, that’s settled then. Now let’s eat, I’m hungry.”
He covered his face to silence his cries. God, why was it hurting him this much?
Yunho then excused himself to the restroom and that’s when Jaejoong stood up and walked out of the restaurant.
He didn’t know where he wanted to go to. He just let his feet take him as his eyes continued to shed tears.
Yunho was getting married.
He couldn’t fathom why he was crying and hurting this much when he had told and convinced himself several times that he didn’t love Yunho. That he hadn’t grown to love the man even after all the love and care he had shown him while they were together. That he hadn’t grown to be so attached to the man and didn’t know how to live without him anymore. That he hadn’t grown to love those sweet words that he said every time they made love or those romantic surprises he prepared for him every time. That he hadn’t grown to love Yunho’s smiles, jokes, laughter, the pouts and aegyo he showed whenever he got Jaejoong mad and asked for forgiveness,the mole on his upper lip- every single detail that made Yunho, him. That he doesn’t love Yunho’s saccharine kisses and warm comforting hugs. That he hadn’t grown to love the man he ignored so much, without even noticing.
That he had taken for granted the best thing that ever happened in his life- Yunho.
As realization upon realization dawned on him, he couldn’t contain his sobs anymore and he broke down in the middle of nowhere, his knees weakening as he slowly crouched to the ground.
Yunho had unconsciously become his world in a matter of time- and he didn’t even notice it from happening.
Yunho…his Yunho… was getting married.
He was losing the love of his life yet again and this time he had no one to blame but himself. This time, it was his entire fault. This time, it was all him.
For the past few weeks that he had met up with Hyunjoong he had wondered and thought hard about whom he really loved…about who really owned his heart, mind and soul.
That night, he got his answer.
“Hello, Hyunjoong-ah….”
“Jaejoong?”
“Listen, let’s not meet up anymore…”
A short pause
“I’m already in love with someone else…”
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