My Heart's Keeper (Sequel to How Am I Supposed to Live Without You) Part c FINAL
Yunho…come back...please come back.. I have to tell you how much I love you... I have to tell you how much you mean to me… Yunho…please… I can’t live without you…come back, baby… I need you…
“Jae?”
His heart stopped beating. That voice.
He opened his eyes, still blurry with tears. He wiped them off.
And then he saw him.
“Jaejoong? What are you doing here?”
The figure slowly approached him. Jaejoong on the other hand tried to sit up. He blinked his eyes several times.
It was him.
It was really him.
“Y-Yunho?” he managed to croak out
Yunho nodded skeptically. “Yeah, its me. What are you doing here?”
He slowly lifted his hands, albeit shakily, to touch the other’s face, to see if he was for real.
“Jaejoong? What’s wrong with you?”
“YUNHO!” Jaejoong breathed out, throwing himself into Yunho’s arms “it’s you.. it’s really you.. Oh my God Yunho.. I thought.. I--I” Jaejoong began gasping for air, suddenly hyperventilating
“Jae? Are you okay?” Yunho asked worriedly as he peeled the pretty man off him
His face turned into a shocked one as he saw how badly Jaejoong was gasping for air.
“Jae?! Oh my God Jaejoong! Jaejoong!”
The pretty man’s eyes were wide and he was slowly turning red as he tried to get some oxygen into his lungs
“Jae?! Breath-dammit. , Kim Jaejoong! breathe!” Yunho’s voice commanded
Jaejoong’s surprised wide eyes turned to Yunho, as the latter hugged him from behind, rubbing his back soothingly. He leaned into the leader’s chest, wanting him to envelope him with his warmth, wanting to make sure he was really there
After a while, his heavy gasps turned into small puffs of breathe, he closed his eyes to compose himself and then took one long shuddering breath, and then he looked at Yunho
He brought one shaky hand to Yunho’s face, caressing him softly.
“I thought I lost you” he breathed out, choking his sobs.
Oh God, that fear took over his whole being. He didn’t even want to think of how he felt.
“Oh my God Yunho. I was so so soo scared” He whispered brokenly, hugging Yunho so tight, clutching onto Yunho’s shirt as if his life… no, actually, clutching onto Yunho because his life depended on him
He sobbed continuously, holding onto Yunho so tight. So very tight. Never wanting to let go ever again.
Yunho albeit confused, hugged the smaller man back, who was crying and shaking uncontrollably, trying to calm him down
After another few moments, and after Yunho deemed Jaejoong collected enough to answer some questions, he finally spoke
He looked down at the still weeping man in his arms, stroking his soft hair affectionately
“Jaejoong, are you okay? What happened? And why are you here?”
Jaejoong stopped shaking and looked up at him with teary eyes “I’m sorry” he whispered
“For what? For rejecting me that day? You don’t have to apologize for that Jae, I knew it had to happen sooner or later” Yunho replied looking away, trying so hard not to care, but failing
And then something dawned on him,
“What do you mean ‘you thought you lost me’?” turning his eyes back to Jaejoong, who was staring at him as if still not believing that he was there, talking to him
“No Yunho, I’m sorry it took me this long to realize just how much I love you. I’m sorry for only coming back now, when I could have taken care of you so you wouldn’t end up being sick….”
Yunho froze at Jaejoong’s words, not believing that Jaejoong was confessing to him now, telling him he loved him back, at the mention of the word ‘sick’ though Yunho’s expression darkened and he let go of his hold on Jaejoong, walking towards the window
Jaejoong was confused at the action, missing Yunho’s warmth around him terribly
“Yunho?” he hesitantly asked from the bed, he looked at Yunho, looking pale yet serene as he looked out the window of the hospital room
“You don’t have to tell me you love me just because me I’m sick, Jaejoong” he said, his voice cold but lacing with hurt
“You don’t have to come back to take care of me just because I have a heart disease” he added somberly yet firmly and turned to look at Jaejoong with a sad but somewhat angry expression on his face
Jaejoong’s eyes widened in surprise, Yunho was misunderstanding him, he had to explain this, he can’t let Yunho go again, that fear he felt earlier was proof enough of how he can’t live without Yunho anymore
“N-No.. Yunho..you don’t understand...I love you.. I love you with my whole heart.. I lied that day.. when I made you feel like I didn’t want you in my life, I lied. All I wanted was you Yunho, but I was so afraid of the people’s acceptance around us that I chose to lie to you .. and to myself ” Jaejoong solemnly explained, fresh tears pouring down his face
Yunho looked searchingly at Jaejoong, trying to find something that can tell him that Jaejoong was there just because he learned that he was sick, and that he was guilty for causing him to neglect his health like that, but found nothing.. In Jaejoong’s eyes, there were only sincerity and love.. Love? For him?
“ But that day, when I asked you if you loved her-”
“I didn’t say anything Yunho” Jaejoong cut off “I didn’t tell you I was in love with her”
Yunho paused, it was true, Jaejoong didn’t confirm his feelings for Soojin that day..
“But the look you had on your face..in your eyes..”
“I was looking at you Yunho. Of course there’d be love in my eyes.And the other emotions? What, the pain and guilt? I was in so much pain hearing you only tell those words at that time, that time when I decided I had to move on, I had been waiting for so long to hear those words from you but our responsibilities for our families came to mind and I was in so much pain because I had to refuse the only love I’ve been wanting to accept all my life..and then I was guilty beyond belief for making you feel like that, for rejecting you, for hurting you when I should be the one making you happy” Jaejoong was back to sobbing right now
Yunho felt his tears pour down from his eyes at Jaejoong’s words. Was this real? Jaejoong loved him? Really really really loved him?
“Then when I learned you were ill, i couldn’t stop thinking about you. I knew I had to be with you. I couldn’t even stand the thought of you being sick and then leaving for good.. So I called off the wedding… and I came back- this morning I was in front of your apartment, ready to confess my real feelings but then.... ”
“Jaejoong- I…I don’t think I still can…” Yunho began softly, still hesitant and doubtful; his heart afraid and still in pain; but no matter how hard he tried to deny, still very much in love with Jaejoong
“It’s painful Jae~ loving you…it hurt me so much” he added brokenly
“I’ll prove my love to you, Yunho. I’ll.. I’ll do anything.. I’ll beg if I have to…Just please… let me heal your heart…I’m so sorry for hurting you. I’m sorry.. I’m really really sorry.. I love you Yunho, please believe me.. I’m sorry… I love you so so so much..Please Yunho..I-- ” Jaejoong was sobbing non-stop again, Yunho rushed to his side to hug him before he started hyperventilating once more
Jaejoong clutched to Yunho, holding him close for all he’s worth
“God, Yunho. I thought you died on me” he whispered, voice tight with pain, eyes shutting as he remembered the grief and pain he felt just moments ago
Yunho thought about how devastated he had been for the past few months.. Past few years actually…the depression, the longing, the frustrations, the helplessness, the anger, and the pain, the overwhelming pain that threatened to take over his whole being… but everything (including his pride) just flew out of his mind -along with the fact that Jaejoong wasn’t even supposed to know he was sick in the first place- the minute he heard and truly felt for the first time-- that Jaejoong loved him back
“Shh.. Its okay, baby. I’m here now” Yunho whispered to the weeping man, kissing his soft hair
Maybe just maybe, if Jaejoong was the only one capable of hurting him this way, then he’d be the only one able to cure this heartache as well
“Its okay. I wont leave you.” He added, as Jaejoong’s tears continued to fall
“I love you. I love you so much. Please don’t scare me like that ever again” Jaejoong whispered, burying his face into Yunho’s chest and clutching the back of the taller man’s shirt tightly
“Shh.. Everything’s fine. I love you too” Yunho responded, pulling Jaejoong out of his embrace enough to kiss the fear, the pain, the guilt, the hurt, the love from the crying pretty man
Jaejoong kissed back almost immediately, wanting to drown in everything that was Yunho. At this moment in time, Yunho was all he cared about.
When they finally pulled apart for some oxygen, Jaejoong leaned forward to rest his head on the crook of Yunho’s neck
Yunho hugged him back; he can’t help feeling so relieved and happy that Jaejoong was finally his, officially this time, and will be forever his, no matter what happens.
“Jae? How come you thought I was dead? I only came here for an overnight medical check-up, you know. I wanted them to check everything, and well luckily I’m fine. I’ve been feeling mild chest pains and shortness of breath for a few weeks but they told me it was just stress. As long as I keep living a healthy life then they’re pretty sure I’ll be okay.”
Jaejoong took a deep breath before looking at him. Yes, he was embarrassed that he had freaked out like that, but if he hadn’t , then he wouldn’t have realized just how important Yunho was to him
“And now, you’re here to make sure I do just that, right?” Yunho spoke, smiling at him happily
Jaejoong couldn’t help but smile back despite his teary eyes. He nodded, “Yes of course. I’ll do everything I can just so you stay healthy forever and ever” he promised
“And just so you know, I’ll be living with you so you can’t sneak off drinking or doing anything else that can harm your heart, arasso?”
Yunho smiled, happy at the thought that they were going to stay under one roof together “Arasso”
But then he thought about that one small, okay, not really small, since the problem was approximately 188 cm tall, minor setback from the their plan
“You’ll have to make Changmin move out though” Yunho voiced out with a smirk
Jaejoong pulled himself off of him “Changmin’s living with you?!” he asked, dumbfounded
Yunho nodded “Yeah. come to think of it, why didn’t you just ring the doorbell? Changmin knows why I was here, you know”
“Changmin was there?” he asked, more to himself than Yunho
“Well- Your neighbor told me you were here before I could even knock so I-I panicked and rushed over here …and then you weren’t here so I got alarmed even more…and then that nurse, and the woman.. and the…” Jaejoong stuttered, suddenly feeling ridiculous for his assumptions and hasty actions
Yunho’s eyes widened at Jaejoong’s fast talk so he hugged the man, still slightly jumpy and trembling “Shh.. Baby.. Baby.. stop.. you might hyperventilate again.. its okay.. What’s important is that you’re here with me now.. ” he declared lovingly, pressing a kiss on Jaejoong’s cheek
“I still feel kinda stupid though” Jaejoong mumbled quietly
Yunho laughed genuinely (for the first time in a very long time) “I still can’t believe you thought I was dead”
Jaejoong pouted and looked up at Yunho who was barely able to stifle his laughter “It’s not funny.”
Yunho bit his lower lip to stop himself from grinning, feeling a teeny bit guilty for laughing and happy that Jaejoong cared so much.
“I seriously thought you did. It was really scary you know” Jaejoong mumbled softly, still slightly traumatized because of the earlier incident
“I really freaked out. It was understandable why I would react in such a way, but still…you’re probably thinking I’m stupid now.” he added in a small voice
Yunho chuckled lightly, kissing Jaejoong’s head this time “It doesn’t matter. I still love you anyway”
Jaejoong smiled against Yunho’s chest, nodding in agreement
“This time I’ll make sure I take very good care of your heart, ok?”
“As long as it’s yours, you’ll be the only one authorized to take care of it, just don’t break or let go of it ever again, understood?”
Jaejoong sighed in content as Yunho’s arms wrapped around him securely
“Never again” he whispered back
Because Jaejoong realized that if he doesn’t take care of Yunho’s heart; then he’ll be breaking his own heart as well… And in order to keep his heart beating, he has to make sure Yunho’s does.
---
A/N: Well yes, its a happy-ending where Yunjae ended up together^^... And yes, Yunho isn't that sick after all :).. I hope you guys liked the ending and the angst was enough for you guys.. I just figured I've had enough drama for this week that i just had to end this one happily... I'm this close to losing my faith...but i won't. I'm gonna stay strong..for the boys..for cassies...
Please leave comments^^... Pretty please with yunjae on top? (Actually, with Yun on top and Jae under him XD)
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“Jae?”
His heart stopped beating. That voice.
He opened his eyes, still blurry with tears. He wiped them off.
And then he saw him.
“Jaejoong? What are you doing here?”
The figure slowly approached him. Jaejoong on the other hand tried to sit up. He blinked his eyes several times.
It was him.
It was really him.
“Y-Yunho?” he managed to croak out
Yunho nodded skeptically. “Yeah, its me. What are you doing here?”
He slowly lifted his hands, albeit shakily, to touch the other’s face, to see if he was for real.
“Jaejoong? What’s wrong with you?”
“YUNHO!” Jaejoong breathed out, throwing himself into Yunho’s arms “it’s you.. it’s really you.. Oh my God Yunho.. I thought.. I--I” Jaejoong began gasping for air, suddenly hyperventilating
“Jae? Are you okay?” Yunho asked worriedly as he peeled the pretty man off him
His face turned into a shocked one as he saw how badly Jaejoong was gasping for air.
“Jae?! Oh my God Jaejoong! Jaejoong!”
The pretty man’s eyes were wide and he was slowly turning red as he tried to get some oxygen into his lungs
“Jae?! Breath-dammit. , Kim Jaejoong! breathe!” Yunho’s voice commanded
Jaejoong’s surprised wide eyes turned to Yunho, as the latter hugged him from behind, rubbing his back soothingly. He leaned into the leader’s chest, wanting him to envelope him with his warmth, wanting to make sure he was really there
After a while, his heavy gasps turned into small puffs of breathe, he closed his eyes to compose himself and then took one long shuddering breath, and then he looked at Yunho
He brought one shaky hand to Yunho’s face, caressing him softly.
“I thought I lost you” he breathed out, choking his sobs.
Oh God, that fear took over his whole being. He didn’t even want to think of how he felt.
“Oh my God Yunho. I was so so soo scared” He whispered brokenly, hugging Yunho so tight, clutching onto Yunho’s shirt as if his life… no, actually, clutching onto Yunho because his life depended on him
He sobbed continuously, holding onto Yunho so tight. So very tight. Never wanting to let go ever again.
Yunho albeit confused, hugged the smaller man back, who was crying and shaking uncontrollably, trying to calm him down
After another few moments, and after Yunho deemed Jaejoong collected enough to answer some questions, he finally spoke
He looked down at the still weeping man in his arms, stroking his soft hair affectionately
“Jaejoong, are you okay? What happened? And why are you here?”
Jaejoong stopped shaking and looked up at him with teary eyes “I’m sorry” he whispered
“For what? For rejecting me that day? You don’t have to apologize for that Jae, I knew it had to happen sooner or later” Yunho replied looking away, trying so hard not to care, but failing
And then something dawned on him,
“What do you mean ‘you thought you lost me’?” turning his eyes back to Jaejoong, who was staring at him as if still not believing that he was there, talking to him
“No Yunho, I’m sorry it took me this long to realize just how much I love you. I’m sorry for only coming back now, when I could have taken care of you so you wouldn’t end up being sick….”
Yunho froze at Jaejoong’s words, not believing that Jaejoong was confessing to him now, telling him he loved him back, at the mention of the word ‘sick’ though Yunho’s expression darkened and he let go of his hold on Jaejoong, walking towards the window
Jaejoong was confused at the action, missing Yunho’s warmth around him terribly
“Yunho?” he hesitantly asked from the bed, he looked at Yunho, looking pale yet serene as he looked out the window of the hospital room
“You don’t have to tell me you love me just because me I’m sick, Jaejoong” he said, his voice cold but lacing with hurt
“You don’t have to come back to take care of me just because I have a heart disease” he added somberly yet firmly and turned to look at Jaejoong with a sad but somewhat angry expression on his face
Jaejoong’s eyes widened in surprise, Yunho was misunderstanding him, he had to explain this, he can’t let Yunho go again, that fear he felt earlier was proof enough of how he can’t live without Yunho anymore
“N-No.. Yunho..you don’t understand...I love you.. I love you with my whole heart.. I lied that day.. when I made you feel like I didn’t want you in my life, I lied. All I wanted was you Yunho, but I was so afraid of the people’s acceptance around us that I chose to lie to you .. and to myself ” Jaejoong solemnly explained, fresh tears pouring down his face
Yunho looked searchingly at Jaejoong, trying to find something that can tell him that Jaejoong was there just because he learned that he was sick, and that he was guilty for causing him to neglect his health like that, but found nothing.. In Jaejoong’s eyes, there were only sincerity and love.. Love? For him?
“ But that day, when I asked you if you loved her-”
“I didn’t say anything Yunho” Jaejoong cut off “I didn’t tell you I was in love with her”
Yunho paused, it was true, Jaejoong didn’t confirm his feelings for Soojin that day..
“But the look you had on your face..in your eyes..”
“I was looking at you Yunho. Of course there’d be love in my eyes.And the other emotions? What, the pain and guilt? I was in so much pain hearing you only tell those words at that time, that time when I decided I had to move on, I had been waiting for so long to hear those words from you but our responsibilities for our families came to mind and I was in so much pain because I had to refuse the only love I’ve been wanting to accept all my life..and then I was guilty beyond belief for making you feel like that, for rejecting you, for hurting you when I should be the one making you happy” Jaejoong was back to sobbing right now
Yunho felt his tears pour down from his eyes at Jaejoong’s words. Was this real? Jaejoong loved him? Really really really loved him?
“Then when I learned you were ill, i couldn’t stop thinking about you. I knew I had to be with you. I couldn’t even stand the thought of you being sick and then leaving for good.. So I called off the wedding… and I came back- this morning I was in front of your apartment, ready to confess my real feelings but then.... ”
“Jaejoong- I…I don’t think I still can…” Yunho began softly, still hesitant and doubtful; his heart afraid and still in pain; but no matter how hard he tried to deny, still very much in love with Jaejoong
“It’s painful Jae~ loving you…it hurt me so much” he added brokenly
“I’ll prove my love to you, Yunho. I’ll.. I’ll do anything.. I’ll beg if I have to…Just please… let me heal your heart…I’m so sorry for hurting you. I’m sorry.. I’m really really sorry.. I love you Yunho, please believe me.. I’m sorry… I love you so so so much..Please Yunho..I-- ” Jaejoong was sobbing non-stop again, Yunho rushed to his side to hug him before he started hyperventilating once more
Jaejoong clutched to Yunho, holding him close for all he’s worth
“God, Yunho. I thought you died on me” he whispered, voice tight with pain, eyes shutting as he remembered the grief and pain he felt just moments ago
Yunho thought about how devastated he had been for the past few months.. Past few years actually…the depression, the longing, the frustrations, the helplessness, the anger, and the pain, the overwhelming pain that threatened to take over his whole being… but everything (including his pride) just flew out of his mind -along with the fact that Jaejoong wasn’t even supposed to know he was sick in the first place- the minute he heard and truly felt for the first time-- that Jaejoong loved him back
“Shh.. Its okay, baby. I’m here now” Yunho whispered to the weeping man, kissing his soft hair
Maybe just maybe, if Jaejoong was the only one capable of hurting him this way, then he’d be the only one able to cure this heartache as well
“Its okay. I wont leave you.” He added, as Jaejoong’s tears continued to fall
“I love you. I love you so much. Please don’t scare me like that ever again” Jaejoong whispered, burying his face into Yunho’s chest and clutching the back of the taller man’s shirt tightly
“Shh.. Everything’s fine. I love you too” Yunho responded, pulling Jaejoong out of his embrace enough to kiss the fear, the pain, the guilt, the hurt, the love from the crying pretty man
Jaejoong kissed back almost immediately, wanting to drown in everything that was Yunho. At this moment in time, Yunho was all he cared about.
When they finally pulled apart for some oxygen, Jaejoong leaned forward to rest his head on the crook of Yunho’s neck
Yunho hugged him back; he can’t help feeling so relieved and happy that Jaejoong was finally his, officially this time, and will be forever his, no matter what happens.
“Jae? How come you thought I was dead? I only came here for an overnight medical check-up, you know. I wanted them to check everything, and well luckily I’m fine. I’ve been feeling mild chest pains and shortness of breath for a few weeks but they told me it was just stress. As long as I keep living a healthy life then they’re pretty sure I’ll be okay.”
Jaejoong took a deep breath before looking at him. Yes, he was embarrassed that he had freaked out like that, but if he hadn’t , then he wouldn’t have realized just how important Yunho was to him
“And now, you’re here to make sure I do just that, right?” Yunho spoke, smiling at him happily
Jaejoong couldn’t help but smile back despite his teary eyes. He nodded, “Yes of course. I’ll do everything I can just so you stay healthy forever and ever” he promised
“And just so you know, I’ll be living with you so you can’t sneak off drinking or doing anything else that can harm your heart, arasso?”
Yunho smiled, happy at the thought that they were going to stay under one roof together “Arasso”
But then he thought about that one small, okay, not really small, since the problem was approximately 188 cm tall, minor setback from the their plan
“You’ll have to make Changmin move out though” Yunho voiced out with a smirk
Jaejoong pulled himself off of him “Changmin’s living with you?!” he asked, dumbfounded
Yunho nodded “Yeah. come to think of it, why didn’t you just ring the doorbell? Changmin knows why I was here, you know”
“Changmin was there?” he asked, more to himself than Yunho
“Well- Your neighbor told me you were here before I could even knock so I-I panicked and rushed over here …and then you weren’t here so I got alarmed even more…and then that nurse, and the woman.. and the…” Jaejoong stuttered, suddenly feeling ridiculous for his assumptions and hasty actions
Yunho’s eyes widened at Jaejoong’s fast talk so he hugged the man, still slightly jumpy and trembling “Shh.. Baby.. Baby.. stop.. you might hyperventilate again.. its okay.. What’s important is that you’re here with me now.. ” he declared lovingly, pressing a kiss on Jaejoong’s cheek
“I still feel kinda stupid though” Jaejoong mumbled quietly
Yunho laughed genuinely (for the first time in a very long time) “I still can’t believe you thought I was dead”
Jaejoong pouted and looked up at Yunho who was barely able to stifle his laughter “It’s not funny.”
Yunho bit his lower lip to stop himself from grinning, feeling a teeny bit guilty for laughing and happy that Jaejoong cared so much.
“I seriously thought you did. It was really scary you know” Jaejoong mumbled softly, still slightly traumatized because of the earlier incident
“I really freaked out. It was understandable why I would react in such a way, but still…you’re probably thinking I’m stupid now.” he added in a small voice
Yunho chuckled lightly, kissing Jaejoong’s head this time “It doesn’t matter. I still love you anyway”
Jaejoong smiled against Yunho’s chest, nodding in agreement
“This time I’ll make sure I take very good care of your heart, ok?”
“As long as it’s yours, you’ll be the only one authorized to take care of it, just don’t break or let go of it ever again, understood?”
Jaejoong sighed in content as Yunho’s arms wrapped around him securely
“Never again” he whispered back
Because Jaejoong realized that if he doesn’t take care of Yunho’s heart; then he’ll be breaking his own heart as well… And in order to keep his heart beating, he has to make sure Yunho’s does.
---
A/N: Well yes, its a happy-ending where Yunjae ended up together^^... And yes, Yunho isn't that sick after all :).. I hope you guys liked the ending and the angst was enough for you guys.. I just figured I've had enough drama for this week that i just had to end this one happily... I'm this close to losing my faith...but i won't. I'm gonna stay strong..for the boys..for cassies...
Please leave comments^^... Pretty please with yunjae on top? (Actually, with Yun on top and Jae under him XD)
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