My Heart's Keeper (Sequel to How Am I Supposed to Live Without You) Part a
Disclaimer: If I by any chance happened to own them, i wouldn't even let them leave a room without the other :D
unbeta-ed
Sequel to : How am I supposed to live without you
Anyway on to the story.....
----
Changmin was the first one to notice it - the way his Yunho hyung looked a little more lifeless everyday. He saw how he slowly deteriorated, from being his strong leader-like sociable self to the restrained, quiet, almost lost, and broken man that he was now. He was still calm and composed as usual but there was something wrong. It was probably in his eyes, yes, it was his eyes. For some reason, it looked dull..empty..
Changmin saw right through his hyung’s front act. That beneath all that strength he was trying to show, but somehow failing; a man, heartbroken and world so shattered it hurt to even breath was deep inside.
It was almost three months since the umma of the group left for Paris, therefore no one was left to take care of the leader, no one was there to reprimand him for slowly but surely letting himself go just like that, and so being the sensible maknae that he was, he took over the role and moved himself in Yunho’s apartment (despite Yunho’s protests) and was there to constantly remind him to take better care of himself. But no, Changmin wasn’t oblivious to anything (He was the group’s resident genius, remember?) and he knew that something must have happened between the two oldest members, if the fact that Yunho haven’t mentioned Jaejoong ever since the latter left (probably even before) and refused to talk about anything remotely related to Jaejoong at all, was anything to go by.
This was a dead giveaway as Yunho never failed to talk about the pretty man, even during the lawsuit, annoying Changmin with his endless babble of Jaejoong this; Jaejoong that. But now, not even the name itself could come out from the former leader’s lips. He, Yoochun and Junsu didn’t bring the topic back up either, worried that it might make their Hyung’s condition worst than it already was. Of course, they were aware of Yunho’s feelings for the lead singer, heck, a million Yunjae fangirls can justify that fact (and probably the fact that Jaejoong’s feelings were mutual as well) therefore they were also aware of how broken Yunho was because of Jaejoong’s impending marriage.
It broke them, really, how Yunho would flinch and cringe every time the three would make a little slip-up and mention Jaejoong. They were so used to the tall man’s smiles and dreamy look that seeing him like this hurt them more than it should.
They tried talking to him about it, but Yunho declined the offer, telling them he was fine, that there was nothing to worry about. Yoochun and Changmin held their tongues, but Junsu wouldn’t take any of that and so he ran and hugged his Yunho hyung, telling him that he was there, that the three of them were there, they love him so much, they were going to take care of him. And that was when Yunho broke down, he sobbed and cried his heart out,
“Hyung” Junsu sobbed clinging onto Yunho like his life depended on it “Please hyung. It hurts to see you like this.”
Junsu’s heart broke every time he sees how his hyung struggled to live, to make life seem worthwhile. His heart broke every time Yunho refused to eat, refused to do anything. Just sometimes lay there and stare into space.
“Hyung” Changmin rasped out, fighting back his tears “We’re here for you, we’ll be your support hyung. Just don’t do this to yourself anymore”
He couldn’t stand seeing Yunho work himself till he can’t feel anything anymore. Tire himself so that when the night comes all he could do was dump himself onto his bed and sleep all of his thoughts, trouble and pain away. It was heartbreaking though, to hear his muffled sobs, and painful whispers of ‘Someone please tell me how to stop loving him’ and ‘Jaejoong-ah, I still love you. It hurts, it hurts so much but I cant stop’ in the middle of the night, not knowing that the maknae was sitting just outside the door of his room, crying himself and trying to comfort him from afar.
“Yunho” Yoochun choked, barely keeping his tears from coming out. He was Jaejoong’s ultimate best friend but seeing Yunho like this, he couldn’t help but resent his soul mate for doing this to what once had been the strongest man he had looked up to. His heart couldn’t take the sight of Yunho, who was looking like his whole world had crumbled down on him.
Yunho didn’t say anything that night. His emotions were all over the place and so he just sobbed and cried and Yoosumin held him all night, assuring him that they were going to stay by his side. No matter what happens.
And they saw Yunho had tried. Tried to smile more genuinely, tried to live life as if he was really enjoying every minute of it. And they were happy of that improvement. It wasn’t something to be proud of, but at least Yunho was trying to be better, at least he was trying.
It was a month before the wedding and everyone was invited as advance party. Changmin said he couldn’t go even if he wanted to, someone had to stay to be with Yunho. Junsu insisted that he stay too, he was really worried about his hyung’s well-being. And Yoochun, despite himself, agreed, because he too was afraid of what Yunho can do to himself especially if he was left all alone.
So Yoochun went to go to Paris, because of course Jaejoong needed them too. At least one should make it to their self-proclaimed umma’s wedding right?
Hence, their video conference consisting of Junsu and Changmin from Korea and Yoochun all the way from Paris
“So how’s Yunho?” Yoochun’s voice wavered a bit as the connection was a bit unstable
Changmin shrugged, munching some popcorn “As usual. Living his life like some sort of a zombie”
Junsu hit him for sounding so nonchalant about the matter, somehow, during all this mess, he was the group’s umma (well being the daughter, it was inevitable) for the time being. “How could you say that like it’s not something important?”
“Well, it’s the truth. He looked worse before but it doesn’t look like he’s getting any better either” the maknae argued
“He’s always staring into space when we stop talking to him. Just this morning, he was absentmindedly stirring his coffee continuously while his eyes were distant and if I hadn’t woken him up from his daze, the coffee would have been spilled all over the table”
The other two fell silent as they knew what Changmin said was actual reality.
“How about Jaejoong-hyung?” Changmin asked, its not really that he was taking sides, but he had to be there for his Yunho hyung and he knew his Jaejoong hyung understood that
“Yeah. What did he say, about us, not being there?” Junsu asked nervously, yes, of course he felt guilty for choosing someone over the other but it was to be expected given the circumstances
“Well, I won’t lie. He’s hurt that we aren’t here to celebrate with him but somehow I think he understands the situation more than what we give him credit for” Yoochun explained
The two nodded in understanding at the same time
“How’s everything going on there, Su-ie?” Yoochun lovingly asked
“Everything’s fine Chunnie. I just miss you is all” Junsu answered back affectionately
Changmin fought the urge to gag just because...
Contrary to what other people might think, Yoosu had always been the ‘real’ ones in the DongBang Couple Chart. And Yunho had always envied them for being able to do something as bold as express how much they love each other in front of, well two other people a.k.a Yunho and Changmin (Or maybe Eunhyuk also knows. That anchovy was one sneaky little person). Jaejoong wasn’t aware; as Yoochun only confessed to Junsu after Jaejoong left for Paris, afraid that they might end up just like Yunjae’s fate
“Geez, the least you could do-” the maknae’s snarky comment was cut off as they heard the front door slam
The two youngest panicked, and scrambled off to hide Yoochun’s face on the laptop’s monitor because they didn’t want Yunho to know they’d been talking behind his back again and well because, Yoochun was with Jaejoong and Jaejoong really wasn’t such a good topic for Yunho nowadays.
They both stood in front of the laptop, guarding it like an army of two
“H-Hyung” Changmin stuttered as Yunho entered the living room.
Junsu quickly grabbed a piece of cloth (Changmin idly wondered how he got it for a brief moment) and draped it all over the monitor
Yunho raised a brow at the two’s odd behavior.
“Hi Hyung!” Junsu greeted cheerily. Too cheerily for such an odd hour in the morning
Yunho nodded skeptically, eyeing them one by one “Hello Su, Min” he looked at the duckbutt and the maknae, then he turned to the laptop“…Chun”
Changmin and Junsu let out a defeated sigh before uncovering the laptop for Yunho to see. Yoochun smiled sheepishly “Hey there, hyung~”
Yunho gave him a curt nod “How’s it going there?” he asked, just being polite
Yoochun let out a nervous laugh but before he could even answer, Junsu spoke up
“Where’d you go, hyung?”
“Just went out jogging” Yunho answered nonchalantly
Yoochun furrowed his eyebrows and checked his time, it was 7:12 pm already, and if Korea and Paris had a time difference of 16 hours then…
“At three in the morning?!” Junsu and Changmin exclaimed ;confirming Yoochun’s previous thoughts
“Yeah. Do you have a problem with that?”
“But Hyung.. didn’t the doctor say…” Changmin promptly shut his mouth as he received one deathly glare from none other than Jung Yunho
“I don’t wanna talk about it, Changmin” his voice was as stern as when he used to reprimand them for fooling around and told them to get their minds out of the gutter and concentrate on rehearsing. To be quite honest, he hasn’t heard that tone of voice from Yunho in a long period of time
“What doctor?” Yoosu voiced out in unison
“I said” Yunho spoke, voice as firm and strict as it can get “I don’t want to talk about it”
There was silence in the whole apartment before Yunho decided to go to his room, the three only snapped out of themselves when they heard the sound of the door shut
“Shim Changmin…” Junsu began, eyes narrowed into tiny slits
“There’s something you’re not telling us, isn’t there?” Yoochun asked, just as suspiciously
“No. Wait.” Changmin backed away from the apprehensive Junsu who was approaching him slowly
“Explain.” Junsu hissed just as Changmin slumped down on the couch “NOW”
“Alright. Okay.” Changmin gave in, Junsu can be really scary at times
They placed Yoochun- err- the laptop on the coffee table before Junsu took a seat beside the youngest
“Now. Spill.”
Changmin took a deep breath. He could only hope that Yunho wouldn’t walk out of his room at the wrong time or else…
“Min!” Yoochun exclaimed impatiently
“What doctor?” Junsu asked, voiced laced with worry and concern now
“Will you promise to be there for me if for some reason Yunho hyung decides to kill me for telling this to the two of you?” Changmin asked, eyes turning from Yoochun to Junsu
The two nodded, letting Changmin continue on with his story
“Well, during the lawsuit, Hyung’s father was suddenly rushed to the hospital due to some disease of his heart”
“What? Why didn’t you tell us?” Junsu asked frantically
Changmin shook his head “We couldn’t. You were too busy with your activities and Yunho hyung didn’t want any of you to worry. It was nothing bad really, but it turned out that Ahjussi has been experiencing chest pains for quite some time but ignored it for a while and well, when the chest pain became unbearable and his breathing was hard, he was rushed to the hospital.”
Changmin looked at Yoosu who in turn urged him to continue
“The doctor talked to hyung, the result was that apparently, ahjussi was suffering from a heart disease called Arrhythmias. Arrhythmias occurs when your heartbeat becomes irregular, either too fast or too slow. Arrhythmias isn’t such a dangerous disease but when taken for granted it could also lead to possible complications such as heart failure, stroke or even death. And since ahjussi had ignored the symptoms and refused to take any medications for quite a while, his case got complicated therefore leading to a heart attack. Fortunately though, he survived and is now maintaining his health”
“Then just last year, hyung experienced some mild chest pains and dizziness during rehearsal. He got scared, you know how he is when its about health, so I accompanied him to the doctor and it turns out that the disease was hereditary in nature, and that hyung was a possible candidate for the disease, but he could prevent it as long as he took a well-balanced diet and had regular exercise which he had been doing since then.”
“Unfortunately, well with everything that’s going on, I seriously doubt if he’s been able to keep up with the healthy lifestyle he used to have. Recently too, when I passed by his bedroom a few more times, I hear him gasping for breaths and when I open the door a bit slightly, he’d be clutching his chest as if its in pain”
Junsu gasped and released the breath he had been holding in, Yoochun himself had his eyes widened like saucers
“And well, I’m worried you know. He’s been letting himself go lately and its not really healthy for him to be jogging in the middle of the night. Neither is his way of skipping meals every now and then. I’m afraid if he keeps this up; he’s going to end up with a more serious heart disease than what he already has”
The three stayed silent, two of them still absorbing the information the maknae just told them
“Yunho’s sick?”
The three jumped at the voice, Yoochun turning around immediately to find Jaejoong, doe eyes, wide and teary, hand covering his mouth in shock
“Jaejoong Hyung!” the youngest two exclaimed in surprise
“N-no. Jaejoong. He’s not..” Yoochun panicked and went to hug the still-shocked man standing behind him
“I-I.. Yunho.. he’s…” Jaejoong continued to stutter, still unable to digest the news
“Shh. Jae.. Calm down..” Jaejoong sobbed in Yoochun’s arms, not wanting to believe anything that has been said
Junsu couldn’t help but get teary eyed himself, while Changmin only bit his lip in worry.
“Look Jae, it’s not something serious.”
“What do you mean its not something serious?!” Jaejoong snapped, a heart disease was not something to be taken so lightly. It could lead to a lot of complications that can sometimes lead to death, his body shivered at the last thought. No. God, just no. Please.
“Hyung, Yunho hyung is a possible candidate but he doesn’t have the disease yet. Yes, he can prevent it from happening that’s why he’s been trying to live healthier these past few years”
Jaejoong took small breaths as he faced Changmin in front of the monitor
“And has he been taking care of himself lately?” he managed to ask
“Well..”
Jaejoong buried his face in his hands. This was all his fault. Everything was his fault. If he hadn’t been so insensitive and stubborn, Yunho wouldn’t be taking his health for granted, and gosh, he felt so damn awful as of the moment.
“Hyung--” the two from inside the computer whispered
“Jae..” Yoochun rubbed Jae’s back soothingly trying to make him feel better; Jae’s head slowly snapped up and he looked straight at his two dongsaengs
“Look hyung, the doctor said Yunho hyung will be fine if he just takes care of his heart better”
That was a slap on the face for Jaejoong. Didn’t Yunho give him the right to that? To take care of his heart? And now what has he done? He just went ahead and broke it, shattered it, just so he can fulfill society’s narrow-minded traditions.
He remained quiet, silently berating himself.
“God..” he whispered “Oh God..” everything he had said to Yunho that day came back to him all at once and he never had felt like such a jerk before
“I’m so stupid” he buried his face into his hands once again “I’m such a stupid insensitive selfish jerk-bastard--”
“Hyung--” the three breathed out
He cried.He cried so hard. He cried right in front of his dongsaengs. Regret, anger and disappointment in himself claiming his whole being. He hated himself, blamed himself for what was happening.
The three only watched him as he finally break down, feelings way past overdue pouring out of his heart.
>> (Continuation)
______
A/N: post too large >.< I've disabled comments here---> Please do leave comments at the next part