Leadership
I have spent the last few weeks in a leadership vacuum of sorts. Not like someone overthrew the king and now all the knights are rising to the top, but a struggle in more than one part if my life with leadership.
I have spent the last few weeks under the tenant of "this don't my job" both in my personal life and professional. These uncomfortable moments are not mine to deal with, so why is everyone forcing them on me? Why can't I just deal with own my crap and force other people to step up to their own responsibilities?
But In a heart to heart with my honey tonight, I realize that I am just being a contributor to the problem. Something in me switched. Of course, this leadership vacuum is because everyone is feeling the exact same way. I got my own stuff to attend to, you are just gonna have to wait. Or maybe, they just don't want to deal with it.
Friday, my boss comes to me with some writing she had done about leadership. I read it and thought "we'll, I know this wasn't written for me. I KNOW what kind of leader I AM". Then I lay at night, struggling with the fact that I am really no ones leader. I am just supposed to be sitting back, because leading this merry band of gentleman is not my job.
The it clicked.
That paper WAS written for me.
I am done laying blame or fault anywhere. I am done sitting on my haunches in survival mode on all fronts. In moments where I am unable to recognize how people are stepping forward, I just need to do it. Maybe everyone else has and I just can't tell because I have lost my depth perception.
So tomorrow I call it out. Bring it, self pity and victimization. Hard work has to be done, in my home, in my place of work, in my soul. But I am up for it. Because survival is not an action plan.
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