Dean and Cas - A love story [NC17 - chapter 9b/?]
Title: A love story [chapter 9b/?]
Authors: kimisgirl and doubledgedsword
Pairing: Castiel/Dean
Rating/Warnings: NC-17
Summary: Dean knows it's a dream, he knows its not real.... so why does it feel like it means more, and more importantly, why does he wish it was more? And, why, for that matter, does Castiel show up the next moring with a hikey on his neck and angry as hell? If it's not real why does the angel know everything that happened... like he was there?
Disclaimer: None of the supernatural characters or storylines belong to us :( -sad face-
Castiel lay down on the bed beside Dean and locked him tight to him as he curled himself around Dean and just held him while he cried. He didn't care that Sam was standing again, having jumped up the moment they'd returned, watching them again. Dean had been effected by hell the way Castiel had thought he would and he knew right now that Dean needed him, needed this. So Sam was just going to have to deal with it.
Cas gently stroked the back of Dean's head, fingers running through the soft hair as he whispered every wonderful thing he could think of about Dean, and there was a long list, and about how he, Cas was never going to let anything hurt him again. He finally felt Dean starting to relax and the sobs stopped. He pulled back out of the hug a little, just enough so he was face to face with Dean on the bed and kissed him gently before smiling and sitting up.
He took the knife from Dean and handed it to Sam with a quick glance at the tall man. "Hello Sam, we got what we needed" He said, his tone completely different from when he had been whispering to Dean. It was business like and toneless, as it normally was, as it had always been before he'd met Dean.
He could still remember the first time he'd whispered Dean's name out, his voice mixed with the pain of having to deny the man. Disappoint Dean, it had been when Dean had asked him to help him save Sam from Lilith. It had been a prophecy, Castiel couldn't interfere, he couldn't do what Dean had wanted him to do, and it had torn at him inside. He had found a way around it though, managed to help in his own way.
He turned to Dean and snaked an arm around him again and pulled him beside him so they were sitting together on the motel bed. "You're never going back Dean, I promised you and I always keep my promises. I will die before I let hell anywhere near you again." He told Dean seriously as he looked at him deeply. The fear in Dean's voice shook his core and make his anger boil up again. He nodded and glanced at Sam again.
"We need to move now, is everything ready?" Sam had been left in charge of getting what Castiel would need for his summoning. Namely he needed Sam to find somewhere safe for him to set up his devils trap. When Sam nodded and handed him a scrap of paper with an address on it Castiel turned back to Dean.
"You will be fine, I love you and I'll be back soon." It had taken a lot of convincing, but Castiel had talked Dean into letting him do this next part on his own. Sam and Dean would stay in the motel and Sam was tasked with making sure Dean didn't fall asleep again.
"Remember, he can not sleep, if he does all may be lost." He said to Sam as he gently ran a finger down Dean's check and leaned in to give him a deep kiss. He needed to kiss him like this one more time before he went... just in case.
And then he was gone, without even breaking the kiss, he'd taken the knife and left to trap him a succubus.
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Dean shivered as if he were cold, but it was just the after effects of Naamah's vision chilling his soul. That bitch put the whammy on him good and proper, and he wished desperately it was him going to take her out instead of Cas. He wanted a pound of flesh for that one. She was going to pay for what she had done to him.
He wrapped himself around Cas when he lay beside him, and even though he knew that Sammy was bound to be in the room, he didn't care. It was so rare that Dean ever cried that he felt he was owed this one. Castiel's touch was pure and loving, exactly the tonic he needed after the despair and agony of Hell, and after the profanity of the succubus. Something about her felt disturbing, and Dean never wanted to see her again unless it was to cut her up and send her screaming back into the Pit.
He listened to Cas as he whispered to him, and eventually felt a smile returning to his face. Cas was good at this. He kissed him in return, and let go of his hands as Cas got to his feet. He sat up on the bed, still feeling a little shaky, and watched as a wide-eyed Sammy took the knife from Cas. He wasn't looking forward to this part. He was feeling stronger, that much was true... but he also knew that Sammy would be dying to rip into him about the fact he was in love with a dude.
He rested his head against Castiel's when he returned to him, and relaxed a little more. "I'll hold you to that," he whispered, "But like I told you already, you're not dying on me. Not again." He felt a sickening wrench in his stomach when Castiel was ready to leave. What if the succubus was right, and he wasn't a match for her in reality? What if the bitch hurt him while Dean was sat here, waiting for a return that would never happen? "Love you too. Be careful... she's stronger than she looks, the bitch," Dean warned. He was worried sick, and the kiss Cas gave him before he left did nothing to alleviate his fears. It had felt like a goodbye kiss, like the final one... and while he returned it with just as much need he couldn't stop the fear.
"You better," he muttered when Cas vanished, and he was left alone with Sammy.
He looked up at him and sighed.
"What say you get me some coffee, and then you can let me have it," he said dryly.
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Sam paced the room slowly, agitated as he waited. Waited for them to wake up, to come back and tell him it was all going to be ok. That he wasn't going to lose Dean again. Fuck he hated this, standing around like an over grown fucking worm, or something for all the use he was being right now. It drove him nuts. So he paced and he watched Dean lying on the bed and he paced some more.
He jumped about three foot into the air when Castiel suddenly appeared beside him and as soon as his heart stopped threating to kill him he turned to look at Dean on the bed and gasped. "Jesus" he exclaimed, but no one seemed to hear him. Dean was curled around his pillow and... crying. Fuck! What the hell had been so bad that it had Dean crying. He was weighing up whether he should go try comfort Dean when he saw Cas go to him and ask if he was ok. He watched open mouthed as Dean grabbed on to Cas and clung to him, the two wrapped so tight around each other Sam wasn't sure where one started and the other ended.
It wasn't so much the fact that Dean was hugging Castiel, he'd some how managed to get his head around the fact that he would have to deal with seeing shit like that these days. After this morning, any questions he may have had about just how real this thing with them was, had been answered in no small way. He had almost lost his footing when he'd seen Dean practically crawling all over the angel earlier.
What shocked him now though, was how or rather why Dean has clinging to Cas. He'd never ever seen his brother reach out for comfort when it was offered to him. Not even when he'd come back from hell. Sam had tried to get him to talk, to help, but got nothing but shit for it in return. And then it struck Sam that he'd never seen Dean in love before and that he'd never seen Dean reach out like this because he'd never had anyone to reach out for....
Sam took the knife from Cas when he handed it to him and then turned away to give the two some privacy when he saw Cas start to kiss Dean again. No need to see any more of that thank you very much.
"Yeah dude, I'll keep him awake don't worry" He said quickly to Cas just before the angel was gone.
"Coffee, right, coming up" He said as he nodded to Dean and grabbed his wallet. He left any questions about what had happened unasked. He knew that the last thing Dean needed right now was Sam asking him to go over what the hell had happened. Dean would tell him some time if he was ready and wanted Sam to know.
He went out and was back in five with four strong black coffee's. He handed one to Dean along with a bunch of sugar packets. He dumped milk and sugar in his own and then pulled up on a chair by the crappy dining table in the room. He raised his head to Dean and grinned widely at him. He couldn't help it, it had been long enough and he couldn't hold back any more.It was just to juicy not to take a bite out of. And Dean knew it too, Sammy could see his brother knew what was coming. And it made Sam's eyes sparkle as he took a slow mouthful of coffee.
"Dude, you realise you totally just made out with a dude right?" He asked with almost to much amusement in his voice as he tried real hard not to snort with laughter.
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Dean took the short amount of time Sammy was gone to go to the bathroom and take a leak, then splash lots and LOTS of cold water over his face, head and neck. He was quivering like a leaf by the time he was done, but he knew it was necessary. Cold water on the back of the neck was the best way to keep someone awake, and while he had just slept for about four hours, he knew that he'd slip back again if he got too warm or too comfortable.
He left the bathroom and sat at the table, his hunting bag open beside him, and took out his shotgun. He dismantled it completely, and set about cleaning it with an old rag to occupy himself while Sam was gone. Cold water dripped from his hair down his neck, making him shiver, but he gritted his teeth and ignored it. He was going to stay awake no matter what. He had to give Cas time to find that bitch and make her beg for mercy.
He wondered at the look of hurt on Sammy's face when he had been crying and holding on to Cas, and eventually he realised that it was because he had never relied on Sammy that way. Dean had always been the big brother, the reliable, dependable one. He had kept it together when everything had gone to shit before, and even though Sammy had wanted him to spill his guts and have a deep and meaningful conversation about his time in Hell, Dean never had. He was always uncomfortable talking about emotional things, but in the immediate wake of a dream where he was in Hell, and Cas saved him (yet again), Dean couldn't help but sob.
When Sam returned, Dean had just finished cleaning the shotgun. He smelled the coffee and grinned. Nectar, he thought. Black fucking liquid gold. "Thanks, Sammy," Dean said. He took the paper cup from Sam gratefully and poured three of the little sachets of sugar into his drink. He replaced the lid and swirled the contents around, too anxious for his drink to bother with a spoon, and then took a deep mouthful. He sighed with contentment.
Dean glanced up at Sam, knowing what was coming next. His expression was bored while he waited, but he was secretly looking forward to it. Anything that would keep him awake, and keep his mind off what Naamah had put him through, would be a welcome distraction. Especially if that distraction meant that he had good cause to rip into Sam like the bitch he was.
Dean scoffed at Sam's ribbing. That was pathetic... he had expected something better, but ah well. You work with what you're given.
"I kissed a dude, and I liked it," Dean said, a cheeky grin on his face. "Come on, Sammy, you can do better than that. Besides, making out with a dude is better than fucking a demon if you ask me..." He trailed off and took another sip of coffee, glancing at Sam out of the corner of his eye. He knew Sam would flip over that one.
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Sam choked on his coffee at Dean's reply and stared at him over the top of the cup for a moment coughing undignified like. He put down the cup and gave Dean his best bitch face. "Nice dude" he snorted annoyed but then got over it. No point sitting around arguing all night. And he had WAY to many things he wanted to say to his brother right now.
"So you're good with never fucking a chick again then are you? Cas doesn't strike me as the type to share..." He grinned again at that one and watched for his brother's reaction. He wondered if he'd even thought about the fact that he'd not be able to fuck anything with nice tits every town they stopped in.
"I mean, how good can it be with another guy Dean?" he smirked. "It's not like Cas has had a lot of... practice, he's a fucking angel, you do realise that yeah? You're dating an angel... a male angel. You know how twisted that is yeah?"
Sam raised an eyebrow and smirked wider. He was just trying to get a rise out of Dean, get him back for the Ruby crack, he honestly didn't have a problem with Cas and Dean. Not after he'd seen them together for the better part of a day and could see how much they loved each other. In reality he was happy for Dean, it was about time the man found someone he could trust enough to love.... even if it was someone us unexpected as Castiel. Especially seeing as Dean really didn't like the angel for a long time after they'd first met.
He took another swallow of coffee working on not choking on this one. He'd done enough of that to last a week thanks very much. "You know what we can do!" He said bouncing suddenly in his chair looking like an excited puppy dog as he pulled out his phone. "We can call Bobby and ask him who he thinks is the bigger idjit, me or you! You for loving an angel, or me for fucking a demon! How proud you think he is of us?" He laughed and then threw the phone onto the table. "ON second thoughts, I'd rather not remind him of the whole Ruby thing actually. Could still call about you and Cas though." Gives him a devious look and reaches for the phone again.
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"You see that attitude right there? That's why I always got the extra cookie," Dean teased. He grinned widely. This was such an awesome way to pass the time. He didn't even care that Sam was giving him crap over his relationship with Cas. He was just going to have to give him even more crap.
He looked thoughtful when Sam reminded him that he'd never have it off with a girl again. "You know, I never really thought about that," he admitted. "I was too busy having great sex with Cas to miss chicks." He waggled his eyebrows suggestively at Sam and waited for his face to change to an expression of horror.
He grinned widely, realising that this would be how to piss off Sam the best. "You know how good it is? It's fucking amazing. That's why I called you a cockblocker earlier. I can't get enough of him. He's a real fast learner, Sammy. And I don't care he's an angel. It's a damn sight better than a demon!"
He leaned back in his chair and put his hands behind his head, grinning openly at Sam. He knew Sam didn't have a problem with him and Cas. It was all good natured, brotherly jerking each other around.
He nearly fell off his chair when Sam talked about calling Bobby. That was one step he was NOT ready for, not just yet... and especially not when he was waiting for Cas to kick the succubus' ass and come back. He might need to call if he was too weak to do his zapping action, and Dean didn't want to tie up either of their phones with Sammy's stupid idea.
He snatched the phone before Sam could and held it threateningly over his coffee. "Sure, we'll call Bobby and tell him everything... but only if I can give your cell a bath first. It's filthy..." He dangled the phone between his thumb and forefinger and smirked at Sammy.
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Sam by passed choking and went straight for almost falling backwards off his chair this time. Of all the things he'd expected to come out of Dean's mouth, a WAY to graphic (in Sam's opinion), account of how good Castiel was in the sack was not on the list. And it was so far past anything Sam EVER wanted to hear.
"DUDE" He snapped when he'd managed to somewhat regain his grip on balance and sit firmly in his chair again. "WAY to much information" He groaned at Dean a look of horror on his face as he tried desperately to block out the images flashing through his mind.
"OH GOD, the images..." He groaned as he covered his face with his hands and pretended to sob into them. "Why would you tell me something like that Dean, I'm gonna be having nightmares for life"
He stood up and was about to head to grab a beer out of the fridge. Dean might not be able to drink tonight, but he fucking needed one after that, and right now, his poor assaulted brain wasn't feeling all that sympathetic to Dean's wants right now.
He froze when Dean grabbed the phone and glared at him. "Do it and angel boyfriend or not I will kick your short little ass from here into next Sunday."
He made a swipe at the phone but Dean was too quick for him and he sighed and nodded annoyed at having to give in. "Fine, I promise not to call Bobby, now will you give me my damn phone back so I can go get myself a beer? I need to drink away the memories of what you just said.... desperately."
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"Come on, Sammy!" Dean laughed. "You did ask how good it could be, I was just fillin' you in." The look of shock mingled with nausea on Sam's face did Dean a lot of good. It almost made him completely forget about the visions of Hell in Naamah's dream.
He all but pissed himself laughing when Sammy pretended to cry. He knew it was all an act, but underneath it Sam was definitely having a little bit of a genuine freakout. Hell, Dean would have reacted the same had Sammy started waxing poetic about what it was like with she-bitch-man-whore-power-skank Ruby.
"Wanna know who gets to be on top?" Dean asked cheerfully as Sam got up. It was all he could do not to fall off his chair laughing at the thought of Sammy's face. He didn't want to tell Sammy what real nightmares consisted of, and what they were capable of doing to a person.
Dean held the phone just over the coffee and smirked. "Oh, you're starting with short jokes, bitch?" he said, his tone disapproving. "Not cool, Sammy..." He shook his head when Sam asked for it back. "You don't need your cell to get beer, Sammy" he mocked, but handed it back to Sam anyway. If he tried to call Bobby, he'd just tackle him and take it back.
He frowned then, and added petulantly, "And he's not my boyfriend...."
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"Oh God, Jesus, Dean, just stop. Never. ever. talk. again. For the love of god" Sam begged with a look of horror on his face as he stared at his brother and tried to remember how to form full sentences. Dean was having WAY to much fun with this and Sam could see it. He thought about trying to throw it back and act like he was totally fine with it and not freaking out right now. Start asking Dean about all the little details. Like what Cas said when he came... Sweet lord, had he just thought that. He mentally slapped himself.
He didn't though, because the sight of Dean laughing like he'd pull something if he didn't stop to breath soon was something Sam had not seen in so long he wasn't about to do anything that might stop it. Even if it meant letting Dean freak him the fuck out with images of his amazing sex life with a god damned angel.
"Jerk" He snapped back as he made another unsuccessful swipe for his phone. And huffed when Dean finally gave it back and headed to the fridge taking out a beer and throwing himself back into his chair. His phone safely back inside his pocket.
He cracked open the beer and took an extra long swig and raised an eyebrow at Dean. "Oh no" He asked with a smirk, looking forward to pointing out how much he'd misread the situation if he thought Cas wasn't his boyfriend. "What would you call him then genius? Casual sex partner? Booty call? Huh? Cause I got news for you princess, that angel is as much your boyfriend as I am your brother." He smirked and took another swig of beer. "Unless you wanna tell me that the disgusting gushy loved up look you get every time you look at him is just for shits and giggles?"
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Dean wiped tears of laughter from his eyes as he looked at Sammy, his face horror-stricken and his body language clearly screaming OMFG STFU. Dean held a hand to his stomach as he bent over almost double laughing. He hadn't had this much fun with Sammy in ages. He felt his heart thump a little at the realisation that Cas was responsible for this situation - for Dean and Sam having a chance to mend some broken bridges and just be brothers again. It was a great feeling.
"What? You started this, Sammy, remember that when you're looking for brain bleach!" Dean ribbed him again. "Whoa... this is freakin' hilarious..." Dean giggled quietly to himself and took another swig of coffee while Sam went to get his beer.
Dean raised his eyebrows when Sam decided to pick on his not thinking Cas was his boyfriend. He waited until Sammy had finished waxing snark and then said slowly and thoughtfully, "Well, we just don't do regular boyfriend and boyfriend things, Sammy. Like walks on the beach, goin' to the movies... What we do mostly is have lots and lots of kinky gay sex." He paused to see what effect he was having on Sam and had to fight back a snort of giggles. "And yeah, I love him... so that's why I wouldn't consider him my boyfriend. The word doesn't seem to cover what I feel for him."
He had intended his words to be mocking, and for them to wind up Sam a little more, but he ended up sounding sincere. He was a bit irked so he threw in something that he knew would freak his brother out on the end. "But it's mostly about the kinky sex. Looooots and loooooooooooooooooooooots of super gay sex. And don't call me princess, shortbus."
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Alright, Dean wanted to play dirty then Sam would play dirty too. He reconsidered his earlier idea of changing tack and going along with Dean and his talk about him and Cas. Something Sam was already feeling he would regret shortly. But he couldn't stop himself. He smirked over his beer bottle at Dean and nodded.
The last straw was the mention of kinky gay sex. Sam felt even his eyes groan at the nasty ass images that made flash across his brain and one day he swore he would get Dean back for tonight. "You want me to believe that, Cas.. stoic, emotion free, asshole Castiel, angel of the Lord, is kinky?" He asked with a raised eyebrow. He knew the insults to Cas would give Dean away as far as him trying to convince Sam that their relationship was all about sex. Something Dean did pretty well himself a moment later anyway.
"Oh yeah no, clearly just about the sex Dean... Cause I've always needed a bigger word than girlfriend for the women I loved. Yep ahuh, must be about the sex..." He snorted into his beer and grinned. "Hmmm how about husband then? That a big enough word for you?" He snorted out a laugh that he had trouble stopping but managed to long enough to squeak, "You've got an angel Husband, hows it feel Dean?"
Ok, so he hadn't really managed to do what he'd thought would be fun. Not yet anyway, he'd still sort of steered clear of asking Dean anything that might get him a completely graphic and unwanted response. Which he decided just wouldn't do, he had to grow a set and throw down the challenge. "Alright, you wanna talk about the kinky gay sex, then talk. Let me guess, Cas makes you his bitch doesn't he?" He smirked and couldn't stop pissing himself laughing again.
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"You weren't callin' him an asshole when he pulled me outta that dream there, were ya?" Dean growled quietly. He was annoyed that Sam was insulting his angel while he wasn't there to defend himself, or at the very least do his confused taking everything you say literally thing and defuse the situation with his own naivety. Which by the way, was completely adorable...
Realisation dawned, and Dean raised his eyebrows and looked hard at his brother. Well, well, well... Sammy was finally growing a pair, and they seemed to be made of granite. He let an evil smile spread over his face, and he finished off his coffee before he continued. Poor little brother would regret that one, and his balls would probably jump back up inside his body at what he planned to say next.
"Dude, I've been basically fucking an angel while you're in the same room. How much kinkier do you want it to be?" he asked, his eyes twinkling with merriment. "We should really start getting separate motel rooms at this rate. Me and Cas can't have no fun with you around. You're always waking me up and ruining it. Besides, I never said it was JUST about the sex. I said 'mostly', not 'just'. Figured a collage boy like you woulda noticed that."
He felt a flicker of nerves, wondering how long Cas had been gone. He was starting to get anxious, so to cover it up he opened his mouth and said the rudest thing he could think of.
"He's not my husband, Sammy. Besides, I ain't the marryin' type. And the only ring I'm interested in is..."
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"DUDE" Sammy cried out to stop Dean from finishing his sentence, "Ok you win, I'm done, no more please!" He all but begged Dean with a distressed look on his face as he jumped up to get another beer from the fridge. As he sat down again he noticed the momentary anxious look on Dean's face and his own face softened a little for a moment. He gave Dean a friendly smile, "He'll be ok Dean, he's an angel, and he's Cas, he's always ok yeah?" He said, trying to comfort his brother.
"And yeah, sorry, I know he's not an asshole, I mean he must be pretty cool if you like him so much..." He cleared his throat and shifted in his chair. He hadn't intended on changing the conversation to something more serious, but now that he had he decided there were somethings he really needed to ask Dean seriously. He wanted to understand what was going on with him, with them but he was still struggling to see how it even began. How had his brother, Dean 'never fall in love' Winchester, fallen for the last person on earth Sam would have put on his list of possibilities.
"Dean, how did this even happen dude? It can't just have been the dreams, feelings like these don't just appear over night." He asked as he opened the new beer and took a swig, his face still easy and friendly, and more open than it had been in what felt like years. What ever else this thing with Dean and Cas had done, it seemed to have helped heal some of the rift between him and Dean and Sam couldn't help but finding himself thankful to the angel for that.
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"What? I was gonna say this one..." Dean said, a mock innocent look on his face as he waggled the fingers on his right hand, showing the silver ring he always wore there. He grinned, knowing Sam's mind had jumped to conclusions. His brother really was a filthy bitch. He should have beat him up more when they were growing up so that wouldn't have happened.
Dean sighed then. "You didn't see her, ok? Even Cas said she's powerful. Some jumped-up hell-bitch called Naamah. If she can put the whammy on me, AND drag Cas into my dreams when he doesn't even sleep, she's got some crazy mojo working for her. If she lays even one of her filthy fingers on him..." He trailed off, his hands clenching into fists out of rage. He still couldn't believe that Castiel had convinced him that he should do this alone. Dean hated the idea of him being near that whore, especially when he wasn't there to stop her looking at his angel like he was about to dance around a pole.
He looked sideways at Sam and smiled a little. He was trying. That was the main thing. Even though Dean knew that his little brother was having a really tough time establishing the fact that he was actually in love with the angel, he felt rather touched that he was trying to ease Dean's worries.
"I've called him worse to his face, so don't sweat it too much, Sammy," he said softly. He downed half of another cup of coffee then, grimaching when he realised he had chugged it without sugar. He needed to stay awake. He needed to give Cas time. If that was the only job he was good for against that hell bitch, then that was what he'd do.
"How? You're askin' the wrong guy," Dean admitted. "I just... I reckon it's been building a while, but the dreams kinda accelerated things." He knew he was resorting to car metaphors to explain his feelings, but he didn't care. It was a language he could speak that didn't make him feel on edge the way Sam's whole Dr. Phil spiel did. "So in a way, I'm kinda grateful to that bitch for movin' things along. But I still wanna see Cas smite her for trying to kill me. I'm not letting her off that easy."
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Sam took a long swig on his beer and sat for a moment just thinking things out. He still wasn't sure how it all worked, it was just so weird to him. He could accept it was real, he could accept that it was happening. He could accept... it. However, he was still struggling to understand it. Understand how Dean could have fallen in love with Castiel. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that Cas had seen Dean in hell, when he'd been tortured and beaten down, and made to do things so horrible Sam would never understand what he'd been through. Cas had seen him like that and as far as Sam could see he'd never judged Dean for it. And now from what Sam could see the angel loved Dean. Maybe that sort of connection wasn't something that could turn out any other way than love....
Or maybe Sam just needed more beer... cause this was starting to make his head hurt. "Well dude, if you're happy then you know I'm not gonna make a fuss. You wanna shack up and make happy homes with Cas, go for it I say! Just be sure to invite me when you tell Bobby, cause I have GOT to see his face on that one!"
Sam snorted and peered at Dean a little shyly because he was well aware that if he wasn't careful a slug to the head was coming his way for that one. He decided however that he owed Dean one for all the talk about kinky gay sex.
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TBC
Master Post
Comments are love as always, so let me know what y'all think. Thanks lovely's!!
Authors: kimisgirl and doubledgedsword
Pairing: Castiel/Dean
Rating/Warnings: NC-17
Summary: Dean knows it's a dream, he knows its not real.... so why does it feel like it means more, and more importantly, why does he wish it was more? And, why, for that matter, does Castiel show up the next moring with a hikey on his neck and angry as hell? If it's not real why does the angel know everything that happened... like he was there?
Disclaimer: None of the supernatural characters or storylines belong to us :( -sad face-
Castiel lay down on the bed beside Dean and locked him tight to him as he curled himself around Dean and just held him while he cried. He didn't care that Sam was standing again, having jumped up the moment they'd returned, watching them again. Dean had been effected by hell the way Castiel had thought he would and he knew right now that Dean needed him, needed this. So Sam was just going to have to deal with it.
Cas gently stroked the back of Dean's head, fingers running through the soft hair as he whispered every wonderful thing he could think of about Dean, and there was a long list, and about how he, Cas was never going to let anything hurt him again. He finally felt Dean starting to relax and the sobs stopped. He pulled back out of the hug a little, just enough so he was face to face with Dean on the bed and kissed him gently before smiling and sitting up.
He took the knife from Dean and handed it to Sam with a quick glance at the tall man. "Hello Sam, we got what we needed" He said, his tone completely different from when he had been whispering to Dean. It was business like and toneless, as it normally was, as it had always been before he'd met Dean.
He could still remember the first time he'd whispered Dean's name out, his voice mixed with the pain of having to deny the man. Disappoint Dean, it had been when Dean had asked him to help him save Sam from Lilith. It had been a prophecy, Castiel couldn't interfere, he couldn't do what Dean had wanted him to do, and it had torn at him inside. He had found a way around it though, managed to help in his own way.
He turned to Dean and snaked an arm around him again and pulled him beside him so they were sitting together on the motel bed. "You're never going back Dean, I promised you and I always keep my promises. I will die before I let hell anywhere near you again." He told Dean seriously as he looked at him deeply. The fear in Dean's voice shook his core and make his anger boil up again. He nodded and glanced at Sam again.
"We need to move now, is everything ready?" Sam had been left in charge of getting what Castiel would need for his summoning. Namely he needed Sam to find somewhere safe for him to set up his devils trap. When Sam nodded and handed him a scrap of paper with an address on it Castiel turned back to Dean.
"You will be fine, I love you and I'll be back soon." It had taken a lot of convincing, but Castiel had talked Dean into letting him do this next part on his own. Sam and Dean would stay in the motel and Sam was tasked with making sure Dean didn't fall asleep again.
"Remember, he can not sleep, if he does all may be lost." He said to Sam as he gently ran a finger down Dean's check and leaned in to give him a deep kiss. He needed to kiss him like this one more time before he went... just in case.
And then he was gone, without even breaking the kiss, he'd taken the knife and left to trap him a succubus.
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Dean shivered as if he were cold, but it was just the after effects of Naamah's vision chilling his soul. That bitch put the whammy on him good and proper, and he wished desperately it was him going to take her out instead of Cas. He wanted a pound of flesh for that one. She was going to pay for what she had done to him.
He wrapped himself around Cas when he lay beside him, and even though he knew that Sammy was bound to be in the room, he didn't care. It was so rare that Dean ever cried that he felt he was owed this one. Castiel's touch was pure and loving, exactly the tonic he needed after the despair and agony of Hell, and after the profanity of the succubus. Something about her felt disturbing, and Dean never wanted to see her again unless it was to cut her up and send her screaming back into the Pit.
He listened to Cas as he whispered to him, and eventually felt a smile returning to his face. Cas was good at this. He kissed him in return, and let go of his hands as Cas got to his feet. He sat up on the bed, still feeling a little shaky, and watched as a wide-eyed Sammy took the knife from Cas. He wasn't looking forward to this part. He was feeling stronger, that much was true... but he also knew that Sammy would be dying to rip into him about the fact he was in love with a dude.
He rested his head against Castiel's when he returned to him, and relaxed a little more. "I'll hold you to that," he whispered, "But like I told you already, you're not dying on me. Not again." He felt a sickening wrench in his stomach when Castiel was ready to leave. What if the succubus was right, and he wasn't a match for her in reality? What if the bitch hurt him while Dean was sat here, waiting for a return that would never happen? "Love you too. Be careful... she's stronger than she looks, the bitch," Dean warned. He was worried sick, and the kiss Cas gave him before he left did nothing to alleviate his fears. It had felt like a goodbye kiss, like the final one... and while he returned it with just as much need he couldn't stop the fear.
"You better," he muttered when Cas vanished, and he was left alone with Sammy.
He looked up at him and sighed.
"What say you get me some coffee, and then you can let me have it," he said dryly.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Sam paced the room slowly, agitated as he waited. Waited for them to wake up, to come back and tell him it was all going to be ok. That he wasn't going to lose Dean again. Fuck he hated this, standing around like an over grown fucking worm, or something for all the use he was being right now. It drove him nuts. So he paced and he watched Dean lying on the bed and he paced some more.
He jumped about three foot into the air when Castiel suddenly appeared beside him and as soon as his heart stopped threating to kill him he turned to look at Dean on the bed and gasped. "Jesus" he exclaimed, but no one seemed to hear him. Dean was curled around his pillow and... crying. Fuck! What the hell had been so bad that it had Dean crying. He was weighing up whether he should go try comfort Dean when he saw Cas go to him and ask if he was ok. He watched open mouthed as Dean grabbed on to Cas and clung to him, the two wrapped so tight around each other Sam wasn't sure where one started and the other ended.
It wasn't so much the fact that Dean was hugging Castiel, he'd some how managed to get his head around the fact that he would have to deal with seeing shit like that these days. After this morning, any questions he may have had about just how real this thing with them was, had been answered in no small way. He had almost lost his footing when he'd seen Dean practically crawling all over the angel earlier.
What shocked him now though, was how or rather why Dean has clinging to Cas. He'd never ever seen his brother reach out for comfort when it was offered to him. Not even when he'd come back from hell. Sam had tried to get him to talk, to help, but got nothing but shit for it in return. And then it struck Sam that he'd never seen Dean in love before and that he'd never seen Dean reach out like this because he'd never had anyone to reach out for....
Sam took the knife from Cas when he handed it to him and then turned away to give the two some privacy when he saw Cas start to kiss Dean again. No need to see any more of that thank you very much.
"Yeah dude, I'll keep him awake don't worry" He said quickly to Cas just before the angel was gone.
"Coffee, right, coming up" He said as he nodded to Dean and grabbed his wallet. He left any questions about what had happened unasked. He knew that the last thing Dean needed right now was Sam asking him to go over what the hell had happened. Dean would tell him some time if he was ready and wanted Sam to know.
He went out and was back in five with four strong black coffee's. He handed one to Dean along with a bunch of sugar packets. He dumped milk and sugar in his own and then pulled up on a chair by the crappy dining table in the room. He raised his head to Dean and grinned widely at him. He couldn't help it, it had been long enough and he couldn't hold back any more.It was just to juicy not to take a bite out of. And Dean knew it too, Sammy could see his brother knew what was coming. And it made Sam's eyes sparkle as he took a slow mouthful of coffee.
"Dude, you realise you totally just made out with a dude right?" He asked with almost to much amusement in his voice as he tried real hard not to snort with laughter.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Dean took the short amount of time Sammy was gone to go to the bathroom and take a leak, then splash lots and LOTS of cold water over his face, head and neck. He was quivering like a leaf by the time he was done, but he knew it was necessary. Cold water on the back of the neck was the best way to keep someone awake, and while he had just slept for about four hours, he knew that he'd slip back again if he got too warm or too comfortable.
He left the bathroom and sat at the table, his hunting bag open beside him, and took out his shotgun. He dismantled it completely, and set about cleaning it with an old rag to occupy himself while Sam was gone. Cold water dripped from his hair down his neck, making him shiver, but he gritted his teeth and ignored it. He was going to stay awake no matter what. He had to give Cas time to find that bitch and make her beg for mercy.
He wondered at the look of hurt on Sammy's face when he had been crying and holding on to Cas, and eventually he realised that it was because he had never relied on Sammy that way. Dean had always been the big brother, the reliable, dependable one. He had kept it together when everything had gone to shit before, and even though Sammy had wanted him to spill his guts and have a deep and meaningful conversation about his time in Hell, Dean never had. He was always uncomfortable talking about emotional things, but in the immediate wake of a dream where he was in Hell, and Cas saved him (yet again), Dean couldn't help but sob.
When Sam returned, Dean had just finished cleaning the shotgun. He smelled the coffee and grinned. Nectar, he thought. Black fucking liquid gold. "Thanks, Sammy," Dean said. He took the paper cup from Sam gratefully and poured three of the little sachets of sugar into his drink. He replaced the lid and swirled the contents around, too anxious for his drink to bother with a spoon, and then took a deep mouthful. He sighed with contentment.
Dean glanced up at Sam, knowing what was coming next. His expression was bored while he waited, but he was secretly looking forward to it. Anything that would keep him awake, and keep his mind off what Naamah had put him through, would be a welcome distraction. Especially if that distraction meant that he had good cause to rip into Sam like the bitch he was.
Dean scoffed at Sam's ribbing. That was pathetic... he had expected something better, but ah well. You work with what you're given.
"I kissed a dude, and I liked it," Dean said, a cheeky grin on his face. "Come on, Sammy, you can do better than that. Besides, making out with a dude is better than fucking a demon if you ask me..." He trailed off and took another sip of coffee, glancing at Sam out of the corner of his eye. He knew Sam would flip over that one.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Sam choked on his coffee at Dean's reply and stared at him over the top of the cup for a moment coughing undignified like. He put down the cup and gave Dean his best bitch face. "Nice dude" he snorted annoyed but then got over it. No point sitting around arguing all night. And he had WAY to many things he wanted to say to his brother right now.
"So you're good with never fucking a chick again then are you? Cas doesn't strike me as the type to share..." He grinned again at that one and watched for his brother's reaction. He wondered if he'd even thought about the fact that he'd not be able to fuck anything with nice tits every town they stopped in.
"I mean, how good can it be with another guy Dean?" he smirked. "It's not like Cas has had a lot of... practice, he's a fucking angel, you do realise that yeah? You're dating an angel... a male angel. You know how twisted that is yeah?"
Sam raised an eyebrow and smirked wider. He was just trying to get a rise out of Dean, get him back for the Ruby crack, he honestly didn't have a problem with Cas and Dean. Not after he'd seen them together for the better part of a day and could see how much they loved each other. In reality he was happy for Dean, it was about time the man found someone he could trust enough to love.... even if it was someone us unexpected as Castiel. Especially seeing as Dean really didn't like the angel for a long time after they'd first met.
He took another swallow of coffee working on not choking on this one. He'd done enough of that to last a week thanks very much. "You know what we can do!" He said bouncing suddenly in his chair looking like an excited puppy dog as he pulled out his phone. "We can call Bobby and ask him who he thinks is the bigger idjit, me or you! You for loving an angel, or me for fucking a demon! How proud you think he is of us?" He laughed and then threw the phone onto the table. "ON second thoughts, I'd rather not remind him of the whole Ruby thing actually. Could still call about you and Cas though." Gives him a devious look and reaches for the phone again.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
"You see that attitude right there? That's why I always got the extra cookie," Dean teased. He grinned widely. This was such an awesome way to pass the time. He didn't even care that Sam was giving him crap over his relationship with Cas. He was just going to have to give him even more crap.
He looked thoughtful when Sam reminded him that he'd never have it off with a girl again. "You know, I never really thought about that," he admitted. "I was too busy having great sex with Cas to miss chicks." He waggled his eyebrows suggestively at Sam and waited for his face to change to an expression of horror.
He grinned widely, realising that this would be how to piss off Sam the best. "You know how good it is? It's fucking amazing. That's why I called you a cockblocker earlier. I can't get enough of him. He's a real fast learner, Sammy. And I don't care he's an angel. It's a damn sight better than a demon!"
He leaned back in his chair and put his hands behind his head, grinning openly at Sam. He knew Sam didn't have a problem with him and Cas. It was all good natured, brotherly jerking each other around.
He nearly fell off his chair when Sam talked about calling Bobby. That was one step he was NOT ready for, not just yet... and especially not when he was waiting for Cas to kick the succubus' ass and come back. He might need to call if he was too weak to do his zapping action, and Dean didn't want to tie up either of their phones with Sammy's stupid idea.
He snatched the phone before Sam could and held it threateningly over his coffee. "Sure, we'll call Bobby and tell him everything... but only if I can give your cell a bath first. It's filthy..." He dangled the phone between his thumb and forefinger and smirked at Sammy.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Sam by passed choking and went straight for almost falling backwards off his chair this time. Of all the things he'd expected to come out of Dean's mouth, a WAY to graphic (in Sam's opinion), account of how good Castiel was in the sack was not on the list. And it was so far past anything Sam EVER wanted to hear.
"DUDE" He snapped when he'd managed to somewhat regain his grip on balance and sit firmly in his chair again. "WAY to much information" He groaned at Dean a look of horror on his face as he tried desperately to block out the images flashing through his mind.
"OH GOD, the images..." He groaned as he covered his face with his hands and pretended to sob into them. "Why would you tell me something like that Dean, I'm gonna be having nightmares for life"
He stood up and was about to head to grab a beer out of the fridge. Dean might not be able to drink tonight, but he fucking needed one after that, and right now, his poor assaulted brain wasn't feeling all that sympathetic to Dean's wants right now.
He froze when Dean grabbed the phone and glared at him. "Do it and angel boyfriend or not I will kick your short little ass from here into next Sunday."
He made a swipe at the phone but Dean was too quick for him and he sighed and nodded annoyed at having to give in. "Fine, I promise not to call Bobby, now will you give me my damn phone back so I can go get myself a beer? I need to drink away the memories of what you just said.... desperately."
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
"Come on, Sammy!" Dean laughed. "You did ask how good it could be, I was just fillin' you in." The look of shock mingled with nausea on Sam's face did Dean a lot of good. It almost made him completely forget about the visions of Hell in Naamah's dream.
He all but pissed himself laughing when Sammy pretended to cry. He knew it was all an act, but underneath it Sam was definitely having a little bit of a genuine freakout. Hell, Dean would have reacted the same had Sammy started waxing poetic about what it was like with she-bitch-man-whore-power-skank Ruby.
"Wanna know who gets to be on top?" Dean asked cheerfully as Sam got up. It was all he could do not to fall off his chair laughing at the thought of Sammy's face. He didn't want to tell Sammy what real nightmares consisted of, and what they were capable of doing to a person.
Dean held the phone just over the coffee and smirked. "Oh, you're starting with short jokes, bitch?" he said, his tone disapproving. "Not cool, Sammy..." He shook his head when Sam asked for it back. "You don't need your cell to get beer, Sammy" he mocked, but handed it back to Sam anyway. If he tried to call Bobby, he'd just tackle him and take it back.
He frowned then, and added petulantly, "And he's not my boyfriend...."
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
"Oh God, Jesus, Dean, just stop. Never. ever. talk. again. For the love of god" Sam begged with a look of horror on his face as he stared at his brother and tried to remember how to form full sentences. Dean was having WAY to much fun with this and Sam could see it. He thought about trying to throw it back and act like he was totally fine with it and not freaking out right now. Start asking Dean about all the little details. Like what Cas said when he came... Sweet lord, had he just thought that. He mentally slapped himself.
He didn't though, because the sight of Dean laughing like he'd pull something if he didn't stop to breath soon was something Sam had not seen in so long he wasn't about to do anything that might stop it. Even if it meant letting Dean freak him the fuck out with images of his amazing sex life with a god damned angel.
"Jerk" He snapped back as he made another unsuccessful swipe for his phone. And huffed when Dean finally gave it back and headed to the fridge taking out a beer and throwing himself back into his chair. His phone safely back inside his pocket.
He cracked open the beer and took an extra long swig and raised an eyebrow at Dean. "Oh no" He asked with a smirk, looking forward to pointing out how much he'd misread the situation if he thought Cas wasn't his boyfriend. "What would you call him then genius? Casual sex partner? Booty call? Huh? Cause I got news for you princess, that angel is as much your boyfriend as I am your brother." He smirked and took another swig of beer. "Unless you wanna tell me that the disgusting gushy loved up look you get every time you look at him is just for shits and giggles?"
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Dean wiped tears of laughter from his eyes as he looked at Sammy, his face horror-stricken and his body language clearly screaming OMFG STFU. Dean held a hand to his stomach as he bent over almost double laughing. He hadn't had this much fun with Sammy in ages. He felt his heart thump a little at the realisation that Cas was responsible for this situation - for Dean and Sam having a chance to mend some broken bridges and just be brothers again. It was a great feeling.
"What? You started this, Sammy, remember that when you're looking for brain bleach!" Dean ribbed him again. "Whoa... this is freakin' hilarious..." Dean giggled quietly to himself and took another swig of coffee while Sam went to get his beer.
Dean raised his eyebrows when Sam decided to pick on his not thinking Cas was his boyfriend. He waited until Sammy had finished waxing snark and then said slowly and thoughtfully, "Well, we just don't do regular boyfriend and boyfriend things, Sammy. Like walks on the beach, goin' to the movies... What we do mostly is have lots and lots of kinky gay sex." He paused to see what effect he was having on Sam and had to fight back a snort of giggles. "And yeah, I love him... so that's why I wouldn't consider him my boyfriend. The word doesn't seem to cover what I feel for him."
He had intended his words to be mocking, and for them to wind up Sam a little more, but he ended up sounding sincere. He was a bit irked so he threw in something that he knew would freak his brother out on the end. "But it's mostly about the kinky sex. Looooots and loooooooooooooooooooooots of super gay sex. And don't call me princess, shortbus."
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Alright, Dean wanted to play dirty then Sam would play dirty too. He reconsidered his earlier idea of changing tack and going along with Dean and his talk about him and Cas. Something Sam was already feeling he would regret shortly. But he couldn't stop himself. He smirked over his beer bottle at Dean and nodded.
The last straw was the mention of kinky gay sex. Sam felt even his eyes groan at the nasty ass images that made flash across his brain and one day he swore he would get Dean back for tonight. "You want me to believe that, Cas.. stoic, emotion free, asshole Castiel, angel of the Lord, is kinky?" He asked with a raised eyebrow. He knew the insults to Cas would give Dean away as far as him trying to convince Sam that their relationship was all about sex. Something Dean did pretty well himself a moment later anyway.
"Oh yeah no, clearly just about the sex Dean... Cause I've always needed a bigger word than girlfriend for the women I loved. Yep ahuh, must be about the sex..." He snorted into his beer and grinned. "Hmmm how about husband then? That a big enough word for you?" He snorted out a laugh that he had trouble stopping but managed to long enough to squeak, "You've got an angel Husband, hows it feel Dean?"
Ok, so he hadn't really managed to do what he'd thought would be fun. Not yet anyway, he'd still sort of steered clear of asking Dean anything that might get him a completely graphic and unwanted response. Which he decided just wouldn't do, he had to grow a set and throw down the challenge. "Alright, you wanna talk about the kinky gay sex, then talk. Let me guess, Cas makes you his bitch doesn't he?" He smirked and couldn't stop pissing himself laughing again.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
"You weren't callin' him an asshole when he pulled me outta that dream there, were ya?" Dean growled quietly. He was annoyed that Sam was insulting his angel while he wasn't there to defend himself, or at the very least do his confused taking everything you say literally thing and defuse the situation with his own naivety. Which by the way, was completely adorable...
Realisation dawned, and Dean raised his eyebrows and looked hard at his brother. Well, well, well... Sammy was finally growing a pair, and they seemed to be made of granite. He let an evil smile spread over his face, and he finished off his coffee before he continued. Poor little brother would regret that one, and his balls would probably jump back up inside his body at what he planned to say next.
"Dude, I've been basically fucking an angel while you're in the same room. How much kinkier do you want it to be?" he asked, his eyes twinkling with merriment. "We should really start getting separate motel rooms at this rate. Me and Cas can't have no fun with you around. You're always waking me up and ruining it. Besides, I never said it was JUST about the sex. I said 'mostly', not 'just'. Figured a collage boy like you woulda noticed that."
He felt a flicker of nerves, wondering how long Cas had been gone. He was starting to get anxious, so to cover it up he opened his mouth and said the rudest thing he could think of.
"He's not my husband, Sammy. Besides, I ain't the marryin' type. And the only ring I'm interested in is..."
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
"DUDE" Sammy cried out to stop Dean from finishing his sentence, "Ok you win, I'm done, no more please!" He all but begged Dean with a distressed look on his face as he jumped up to get another beer from the fridge. As he sat down again he noticed the momentary anxious look on Dean's face and his own face softened a little for a moment. He gave Dean a friendly smile, "He'll be ok Dean, he's an angel, and he's Cas, he's always ok yeah?" He said, trying to comfort his brother.
"And yeah, sorry, I know he's not an asshole, I mean he must be pretty cool if you like him so much..." He cleared his throat and shifted in his chair. He hadn't intended on changing the conversation to something more serious, but now that he had he decided there were somethings he really needed to ask Dean seriously. He wanted to understand what was going on with him, with them but he was still struggling to see how it even began. How had his brother, Dean 'never fall in love' Winchester, fallen for the last person on earth Sam would have put on his list of possibilities.
"Dean, how did this even happen dude? It can't just have been the dreams, feelings like these don't just appear over night." He asked as he opened the new beer and took a swig, his face still easy and friendly, and more open than it had been in what felt like years. What ever else this thing with Dean and Cas had done, it seemed to have helped heal some of the rift between him and Dean and Sam couldn't help but finding himself thankful to the angel for that.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
"What? I was gonna say this one..." Dean said, a mock innocent look on his face as he waggled the fingers on his right hand, showing the silver ring he always wore there. He grinned, knowing Sam's mind had jumped to conclusions. His brother really was a filthy bitch. He should have beat him up more when they were growing up so that wouldn't have happened.
Dean sighed then. "You didn't see her, ok? Even Cas said she's powerful. Some jumped-up hell-bitch called Naamah. If she can put the whammy on me, AND drag Cas into my dreams when he doesn't even sleep, she's got some crazy mojo working for her. If she lays even one of her filthy fingers on him..." He trailed off, his hands clenching into fists out of rage. He still couldn't believe that Castiel had convinced him that he should do this alone. Dean hated the idea of him being near that whore, especially when he wasn't there to stop her looking at his angel like he was about to dance around a pole.
He looked sideways at Sam and smiled a little. He was trying. That was the main thing. Even though Dean knew that his little brother was having a really tough time establishing the fact that he was actually in love with the angel, he felt rather touched that he was trying to ease Dean's worries.
"I've called him worse to his face, so don't sweat it too much, Sammy," he said softly. He downed half of another cup of coffee then, grimaching when he realised he had chugged it without sugar. He needed to stay awake. He needed to give Cas time. If that was the only job he was good for against that hell bitch, then that was what he'd do.
"How? You're askin' the wrong guy," Dean admitted. "I just... I reckon it's been building a while, but the dreams kinda accelerated things." He knew he was resorting to car metaphors to explain his feelings, but he didn't care. It was a language he could speak that didn't make him feel on edge the way Sam's whole Dr. Phil spiel did. "So in a way, I'm kinda grateful to that bitch for movin' things along. But I still wanna see Cas smite her for trying to kill me. I'm not letting her off that easy."
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Sam took a long swig on his beer and sat for a moment just thinking things out. He still wasn't sure how it all worked, it was just so weird to him. He could accept it was real, he could accept that it was happening. He could accept... it. However, he was still struggling to understand it. Understand how Dean could have fallen in love with Castiel. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that Cas had seen Dean in hell, when he'd been tortured and beaten down, and made to do things so horrible Sam would never understand what he'd been through. Cas had seen him like that and as far as Sam could see he'd never judged Dean for it. And now from what Sam could see the angel loved Dean. Maybe that sort of connection wasn't something that could turn out any other way than love....
Or maybe Sam just needed more beer... cause this was starting to make his head hurt. "Well dude, if you're happy then you know I'm not gonna make a fuss. You wanna shack up and make happy homes with Cas, go for it I say! Just be sure to invite me when you tell Bobby, cause I have GOT to see his face on that one!"
Sam snorted and peered at Dean a little shyly because he was well aware that if he wasn't careful a slug to the head was coming his way for that one. He decided however that he owed Dean one for all the talk about kinky gay sex.
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TBC
Master Post
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