Dean and Cas - a love story [NC17 - 4/?]

[kimisgirl]

Title: A love story [chapter 2/?]
Authors: kimigirl and doubledgedsword
Pairing: Castiel/Dean
Rating/Warnings: NC-17
Summary: Dean knows it's a dream, he knows its not real.... so why does it feel like it means more, and more importantly, why does he wish it was more? And, why, for that matter, does Castiel show up the next moring with a hikey on his neck and angry as hell? If it's not real why does the angel know everything that happened... like he was there?

Disclaimer: None of the supernatural characters or storylines belong to us :( -sad face-

AN: This is done a little different from most fanfiction as it was rewritten on the rpg forum I own. However, it is a good story, and interesting to read if you are a fan of Cas/Dean. It was written by myself and a friend of mine. It is in post form, so will switch back and forward between Dean's POV and Castiel's POV. It is slash and very romantic in parts lol! Anyway, I needed a safe place to keep it just in case the rp site gets deleted for any reason. Which I hope it won't! But it is a possibility. So instead of just saving it to my computer I thought, why not put it on LJ and see what others thought of it! That said, anyone who reads it and likes it let us know!

******************

It felt like a life time before Dean finally turned around. Long enough for Castiel to convince himself that any desire he had thought he'd felt from Dean had just been his mind playing a cruel joke on him. There was no way that it had been real. The way Dean's arm had slipped around him, holding him tight, the pressure increasing with Castiel's whispered words. It hadn't been Dean wanting him back, it had been his own longing to feel Dean wanting him, loving him. Why would Dean love him, he wasn't even human... and Dean hated angels. Even if he said he liked Castiel, Cas was still an angel and that would never change if he could help it. So he was just being stupid to believe that Dean could love him back.

All of this whirled through his mind as he watched Dean's back quietly from his place at the door. He was still like a statue, quiet and feeling more lonely than he'd ever felt before. Being so close to the one he loved and knowing he could never reach out and take him. Could never have him. It was painful, unbelievably painful and he found himself getting angry suddenly. Why was Dean doing this to him. Why had the man taken him by the heart and shook him until he had forced him to feel, to think for himself... to love.

A stuttered choking sound left Castiel's lips and he felt his body trembling again, but this time with anger. It was easier to be angry right now than to be hurting and in pain. Castiel was used to anger, he knew how to handle it, how to yield it. But the pain... the love... he had no idea how to handle those and he felt like he was drowning. So he grabbed the anger like his life deepened on it and glared at Dean's back. His power radiated off him as his anger grew. He was normally good at concealing his raw power from humans, but when he was angry it was harder to get a hold of, and right now he was fucking pissed. Problem was, he knew that Dean didn't deserve his anger, not even slightly. But he was past the point where he could see straight and so when Dean turned around he simply growled at him, glaring at his beautiful face. "Why Dean? Why did you make me feel... why did you have to fucking do this to me?" He all but shouted at the man. A snarl ripping from his throat. "Why did you have to teach me to love"

That did it, that word... that one four letter word broke him and the anger fell to pieces as he stared at Dean, broken and frightened and shaking. He had just said the one thing he could never take back, and now he had to watch as Dean recoiled from him, yelled at him to get the fuck out of his life. Told him how sick and wrong he was for loving another man, and how he, Dean, could never love him, because he wasn't even human.

Castiel was so far lost that he could barely make out Dean's words. He only just heard him say his name in a way he'd never heard from Dean before, it made him shiver and he felt a single tear fall from his eye as he realised that Dean had been asking him to come to him... Dean, his Dean, had wanted him to go to him. Hadn't wanted to push him away... and what had he done...

Oh god, he moaned to himself as his eyes widened and he looked at Dean like he'd just been shot. "Dean" He whispered barely above a breath as he took a step closer... to scared to close the distance like he so desperately wanted to. Had he really just yelled at Dean while the man had been asking him in, telling him it was ok, that he wanted this too? He felt like sobbing, something Castiel had never wanted to do. ever. He couldn't take much more of this, he needed Dean to tell him what to do, and he would do it. No matter what it was, he would follow Dean's wishes. Because he was the only one he had who would care what happened to Castiel. And one way or another that meant everything to him right now. Whether it was love or just friendship, he would do what Dean wanted. He looked at him pleadingly, begging him silently. Telling him that he needed Dean's help, that Dean was the only one who could help him...

**************

The anger emanating from Cas was palpable. Dean took a wary step backwards, feeling slightly fearful. He knew what angels were capable of doing to humans, and he felt a wild moment of terror that Castiel was about to do something to him because he had dared to show that he had wanted him as more than a friend. His mind, despite being drunk, went into hunter mode, and he started assessing escape routes. He couldn't even think about using a weapon... not against his Cas. If Cas went Defcon 1, Dean knew he couldn't fight him. He'd just run and hope that Cas would calm down when he came back.

That knowledge stilled him. He'd come back to him. Even in the face of his anger right now, he knew the reason. He loved him. If it was just empty lust, he'd have little hesitation in fighting back, but love was different. Love meant never hurting the one you loved, and he felt as though his heart was cut in two when he saw the anger on Castiel's face. He didn't seem to have heard what he had said, and he swallowed sadness as he forced himself to meet that enraged gaze, and compelled himself to take the anger. He knew he deserved it... but the reasons he expected it for were quite different to the reason Cas then shouted at him.

He almost broke down in a fit of laughter. He couldn't help it. He was nervous, and it was funny just how wrong he had got it. So... Cas loved him. He hadn't been wrong at all. It was a comedy of errors, and Dean just wanted to pull Cas close and have a good laugh with him about it until they were ready to decide what to do next.

"It's part of the human condition that you can't help falling in love, and you really can't help who you fall in love with," Dean said. He smiled at Cas, feeling surprisingly calm in the aftermath of Castiel's outburst. He knew what he wanted now, and he wasn't going to let his own inexperience stand in the way. "Seems you can't even help what gender... or even what species you fall for either." He gave Castiel a meaningful look and then glanced at the floor, grinning ruefully. Thank God for the drink... otherwise his inhibitions would have been all over this situation, and ruining it completely. "So you're not alone, Cas. Trust me."

He held out his hand to Cas, feeling surprisingly steady and said, more loudly this time so he could actually hear him, "Cas... I want you to come here."

He waited patiently. They had all the time in the world, he knew that somehow. And he knew what he wanted, and that was Cas. It was so simple when all the crap was removed from the situation. He could make sense of his feelings, and it was wonderful.

**********************

It took Castiel longer than it should have to realise that the smile on Dean's face meant that the other man wasn't yelling at him, or disgusted by him. It was like a wave of dizziness hit him at that moment and he was briefly aware that it was something close to relief flooding through him. He also realised that had he been human he would not have been able to remain standing right now. Of that he was fairly certain, because even with all his physical strength he was still having trouble staying up right as he watched Dean. He would never forget that smile, he'd seen Dean smile many times, though not as many as he'd like, but that one... It was something else. Soft and gentle and just for him. Only for him. Dean was smiling because] of him... he felt a shiver run through his spine at Deans words. He still did not want to let himself believe. Not yet, he couldn't accept it yet that Dean had almost said he loved him too... almost.

That was the problem, Castiel still wasn't sure, like so often, Dean had confused him with his... human way of talking. Of saying things. But the one thing Castiel had managed to understand and believe was that Dean didn't hate him now that he knew what had been troubling Cas tonight. He didn't want him to leave, he didn't tell him he was wrong or that he could never love him. He was saying that it wasn't Cas' fault, that you couldn't help who or even what you feel in love with. He was saying he understood.... Dean understood him, he said he was not alone.

It only took him a moments more before he registered the fact that Dean was asking him to go to him again. He had even held out his hand this time. And this time there was no hesitation from Castiel. Heaven and Hell would not have been able to keep him from going to Dean then. And in a blink of an eye, if that he had flown from his place beside the door and covered the small distance between him and Dean. He landed in front of Dean in a rush of wings and air and stopped stone still looking up at Dean. He knew he really could have walked the few meters to him. But in his mind right now, the distance would have taken far to long to cover that way, he was done staying away from Dean now. He would never again keep his distance out of fear that Dean might not want him close....

It was right after this thought as he looked up into Dean's face, his eyes happy and sparkling, though more than a little scared right now thank you very much. It was then that a worried look past across his face and he frowned deeply. He had just remembered something, something that almost broke his heart and scared him senseless. This was all just a dream for Dean, it wasn't real... what if none of it actually meant anything to the other man. What if it was just his subconscious deciding to test out what it might be like to be with an angel... Castiel felt panic taking over again and he almost whimpered. "Dean" He whispered painfully... "I.. this... your dreaming" He struggled out as he stood inches from Dean his pale eyes locked intensely, silently begging him to tell him it didn't matter, that Dean would want this whether he was dreaming or not. That he wanted to be with Castiel, always with him. "isn't real for you" He mumbled up at Dean, he felt like he was trembling again, but he really wasn't sure right now if he really was or not. His mind had more important things to focus on than what his body was doing.

Things like the colour of Dean's eyes in the dirty orange light of the room. Wonderfully deep green with specks of hazel, the pupils still large from having stood in darkness not long before. Looking at Castiel like there was nothing on earth they'd rather look at right now. Or the rise and fall of his chest as he breathed in and out, and each movement sent a spark of heat gliding down Cas' back. It was the most wonderful sight because it was a sign of life, that Dean was living, living the life he'd been blessed enough to be able to give back to him. And Castiel always wanted to see Dean living. Always.

Castiel wanted to touch him, to feel his warmth against his skin again. Wanted so badly to wrap his arms around him and pull him close. He knew he would never want to let him go again. But he was still scared out of his mind, he had never done anything even close to this. So he did the only thing he could bring himself to do. He lifted his hand and gently ran a finger along Dean's cheek and down his jaw before pausing and waiting not sure what to do next. The touch was different this time than anything at the bar had been. It was softer, more deliberate, more intimate. All his longing and desire seemed to be focused into that one small movement of his finger. And it sent shock waves through him as his eyes fell from Dean's and looked at his finger on Dean's cheek. At his skin touching the other mans and it made him shiver and it made something else happen that he'd never felt before and it scared him so much he jerked like he'd been electrocuted. Though he didn't break the contact. All the blood felt like it was rushing from his vessel's head. It wasn't that that worried him really though. What had him jerking in shock was the feeling that had shot to his groin. A feeling that made him want to moan it ached so much against his pants.

Was this normal he asked himself. He knew the functions of sex, he knew that a mans penis was meant to get hard like his had decide to start working on right now. What he had so not been ready for were the feelings that went with it... good lord no wonder humans were so fond of sex if it felt like this he couldn't help but think...

***************

Dean stood there, his hand extended for what felt like an eternity and a milisecond at the same time. Cas seemed to be finding it hard to believe that he was inviting him in. Hell, Dean was finding it a bit hard to wrap his head around too, but the difference was that Dean wanted this to happen. He wanted Cas, no matter what stupid parts of him like common sense, rationality and the part of him that was 100% certain he only liked girls. He pushed those parts of him to the back of his mind. He didn't need any of them for this, not in the slightest.

He wished he could have said the three words that Cas wanted him to say... but he knew there would be no going back from them. And what if he couldn't give Cas what he wanted, what if he couldn't make him happy? How could he take back those words if that happened? Besides, Cas hadn't exactly said the magic words either... but Dean knew, and that was enough for him. He knew how they both felt.

And then, in a flurry of movement and a breath of air, Cas was right before him. He could read the fear in those blue eyes with ease, and he almost found himself saying "you and me both, Cas" but stopped himself just in time. They didn't need words here. The actions would say it far better than Dean could in his drunken state. He smiled. Cas being close again made that intense feeling return, and Dean wasn't fighting it any more.

He was so afraid... so very afraid that he had nothing to offer Cas that he would really want, and that he had so much to lose if he were to pass the point of no return tonight. He could lose his best friend... and he had no idea what Sammy would say when he found out. (But screw it, Dean thought, Sammy had started the Apocalypse. He couldn't very well start pointing fingers and judging people, could he?) He felt himself start to tremble, and he needed to touch Cas so badly that his hand had started to move forward without his brain giving the command.

Cas was the one thing he could count on these last few months. Whenever something went wrong, he always turned to Cas, and he hated the angels for what they had done to him. Everything had always been about Cas... and he felt like kicking himself for not realising it sooner.

His hand froze before it could touch Cas, and he heard awful words. Just a dream. Not real...

He shook his head. It couldn't be a dream... It all felt so real. He had felt Castiel's lips against his throat, felt himself hardening in response, felt his breathing become heavier with need. He could still taste the beer on his lips! How could this not be real!

"It can't be a dream," Dean said gruffly. "I can feel you." His hand connected with Castiel's chest, only the thin fabric of his shirt stopping him from touching his skin. "I can feel you!" Dean repeated, a note of desperation in his tone. He didn't want this to be a dream... and if it was a dream, he didn't want it to end.

Castiel's touch on his cheek made him sigh, made his eyes close with desire. He moved closer to Cas without seeming to take a step. His eyes opened in alarm as he felt Cas twitching, and he gave him a rather confused look, until he glanced downward and realised what was happening. Ah. Was that all? He grinned and shook his head slightly. Poor Cas. He was a newbie, it seemed. Dean allowed his hand to travel slowly upwards to Castiel's neck, caressing it lightly and letting the fresh stubble prickle against his palm.

Dean moved ever closer, so close he could smell the angel's skin and see every individual eyelash on his half-closed lids. "Cas..." he murmured, and let his lips connect lightly with the angel's

*************

Cas couldn't stop the moan that quietly pasted his lips when he felt Dean's hand press against his chest. The contact making his skin tingle and warmth flood him. Not to mention it did nothing to help the issues he was having further down his body. It all feel so good and so right that he simply couldn't be scared by it anymore. Of any of it.

The moment Dean touched him all the doubt and fear melted away and he smiled softly up at Dean, his eyelids heavy and he had to peer out at the man from under his eyelashes. "I can feel you too..." He whispered softly. Because he could, even if he knew this was a dream, he could feel Dean just as if it was real. And he knew already that there was something about this dream that wasn't normal. Something that had put him here and kept them both here. Something that he knew he should be more worried about right now than he was, but he couldn't bring himself to care.

So maybe... just maybe, this was as real for Dean as it was for him. Castiel let that idea wash over him as he felt Dean's hand moving up his chest to his neck, his fingers caressing his skin and making his breath sharp and strangled. It felt like nothing Cas had ever felt before. Dean's touch was strong, caring and this time he knew it was meant to be exactly what it felt like. His eyes dropped shut as he focused on those fingers, Dean's palm pressing flat against his neck. "Dean..." He all but whimpered. He was going to add please but stopped himself from that particular embarrassing action before it could pass his lips.

His eyes flittered open for a second and the look in Dean's eyes made his cock twitch. It wasn't fully hard but it was certainly showing signs of life. Dean was smiling at him again, amusement painted in his eyes as he looked at Castiel. The angel could not find anything about the moment in the least amusing... amazing yes, but not funny. "What?" He asked Dean slightly put out. Though his fear didn't return. What ever Dean had found amusing Castiel knew it wasn't something that would make Dean not want him. Because Dean was still there. He was still standing in front of him, so close... so close and yet not close enough.

Castiel was about to elaborate on his question when he felt Dean moving even closer. His breath caught in his throat and any words he had wanted to say were lost into the night as he felt Dean's lips... oh god... Dean's lips... gently brush over his.

It was so soft and so light that Cas would have questioned whether it had even happened. If it weren't for the fact that Dean was still kissing him. The angel moaned so quietly it was all but a whisper as his body began to react of its own accord. He was no longer the master of it. That he knew for sure, but he loved what it seemed to be doing. His arm wrapped once again around Dean's waist. This time he did what he had been wanting to do all night. He pulled on Dean, dragging his body to his and all but crushing him against his chest. His other hand went straight to Dean's neck and ran slowly around to the back of it, his fingers burning over the naked flesh above his shirt. His fingers coming to rest in the soft short hair at the back of Dean's head.

His grip was tighter than he intended but he needed this so badly right now he couldn't stop to think. His mouth had moved to, pressing harder against Dean's. Still gentle and soft but firmer. He wanted more, so much more from the kiss but he had never kissed anyone before and honestly, he had no idea how to move from where he was to what his body and mind were telling him he wanted. "Dean... " He murmured softly against his lips "Help me?" He asked. He wanted Dean to take his mouth, his body, his heart and show him everything that it meant to be with someone like this. To help him understand how to be in love with another person. With a human. With Dean.

*****************

Dean refused to accept this was a dream. If it was a dream, why was his heart pounding like it was going to burst and why was he feeling a very real erection behind the fly of his jeans? It wasn't a dream, it couldn't be, no matter what Castiel said. "If this is a dream," Dean said hoarsely, feeling like his voice wasn't working right, "then I don't want to wake up." He meant it, too. If he had to wake up, and face a cold dawn without Cas there, he wanted to stay dreaming forever.

The soft whisper from Cas made him shiver with need and he moved his hand slowly, ever so slowly, from the angel's neck to his hair. Longer than his own, and much darker, Dean ran his fingers through it. This was so different to what he was used to... but it didn't feel wrong. It was a million miles from wrong. Dean's fingertips caressed Cas' scalp softly. Hard or soft, his touch felt real. Not a dream. No way in hell.

His name fell from Castiel's lips and he gave a soft laugh. He was so happy, so relaxed... he had no other way of expressing it. His other hand went to Castiel's cheek, and it was almost like he was cradling the angel's head in his hands. "We're both new at this, that's what," Dean admitted. He was no virgin. He had seen to that when he came back, and made sure that if he had been re-hymenated that he had got rid of it a dozen times over, but this was the first time he had ever been in the arms of another man and wanted him. "I'm not used to being a newbie when it comes to stuff like this..."

The kiss was soft, and Dean pressed his lips more possessively against Castiel's. He wanted him so badly now... His angel, his Castiel. He was his, his alone now. No worry about wars or demons or angels or destined vessels... They had this beautiful private time together, and Dean was determined to make it last. Dean opened Castiel's mouth with his lips and deepened the kiss. He may have been new at this, but damnit, he knew how to kiss someone. Lips were meant for kissing, regardless of gender. Or species.

Castiel's arms were practically crushing him now, and Dean gave a half squawk as he tried to breathe and found his lungs constricted. "Help you?" Dean grunted. "You could take it easy with the squeezin', Cas..." His tone was gentle as he spoke, despite the difficulty in breathing. They were both scared, and Dean didn't want to frighten him away. "What you're doing is just fine... just don't crush my lungs, ok?" he added, a trace of the usual Dean wit in his voice and eyes as he looked at him.

*********************

Cas couldn't remember the last time he was as happy as he was right now. If he had actually ever been this happy that was. He had Dean wrapped in his arms, kissing him...

Dean. kissing. Him.

Dean Winchester had made Castiel feel so many different things in the short time he'd known him. Pain, sadness, anger... joy, rebellion, love... but happiness? Never that, not until tonight. It was not that he was miserable until Dean had kissed him. Because he wasn't, he was content and pleased and sometimes even felt joy. The happiness flowing through him right now however he had not felt before and it truly amazed him. Why had God always kept this from him, ordered him never to feel emotion. He didn't understand it. Couldn't understand it. And he swore then and there that when he finally found god, he was going to ask him. Because it didn't seem right to him, not right at all.

He thought about all the pain he had felt since Dean had come into this life and realised that the cause of it had not been Dean himself. It had always been when Dean was hurting. When Dean was in pain so had Castiel been. He smiled a little at this because it made him wonder how in the world it had taken him so long to realise he was in love with Dean. His mind flashed to the worst moment of Castiel's life with Dean. When Alistair had almost killed him. The pain, the guilt, the terror that Dean wouldn't be ok. He should have realised then. But he had still been so intent on clinging to his obedience at that stage. And all the shit with Uriel had pushed his mind away from Dean for a while.

All of this flashed across his mind as he kissed Dean back, opening his mouth, letting Dean in as the man deepened the kiss and it make him shiver with desire. "Oh god" He murmured into the kiss. He almost whimpered as Dean broke the kiss and his mouth followed Dean's of its own accord. Wanting desperately for the kissing to continue. When Dean started talking he stopped trying to get to his mouth and looked up at him listening.

His eyes widened in shock as he realised Dean was having trouble breathing and loosened his grip immediately. "Sorry" He murmured with a sheepish grin as he blushed up at Dean. "I didn't think..."

He laughed then. He couldn't help it, he felt so new to all this but he'd forgotten that Dean wasn't exactly an expert at being with a man/angel. Castiel let himself laugh in a way he'd never done before and his whole body shook from it as he buried his head in Dean's neck and took a deep breath trying to get a hold of himself again. Both his arms were wrapped around Dean now, hugging him for all he was worth. But being careful not to hold to tight. "Wanna know something funny" He asked Dean, his voice muffled from the place where his lips were resting against Dean's warm skin. And this time he really did lean in and place a gentle kiss just above the collar of Dean's shirt. He tasted so incredible. Like salt, soap and something else Cas couldn't name. "I was very jealous of you and Anna" He murmured quietly with a bashful grin that Dean couldn't see. It felt good to finally admit it.

He giggled a little then and nuzzled into Dean's neck, his lips laying small sweet kisses on his skin along the line of his collar. "Is this what you meant by 'what feels good'?" He asked softly.

*****************************

Dean was damn surprised by how easy this was. He had been slightly afraid that it would be awkward, and that he would mess things up, but this felt so natural and so right that he figured he would have a hard time stopping. Had someone told him a year ago that he'd be kissing the cold angel who had pulled him out of hell, Dean would have laughed and told them to quit smoking so much crack, or else to get a job in comedy and keep smoking crack, because they were funny.

Cas had been such a surprise for him. He was suddenly very happy that he had Castiel's handprint on his shoulder. It kind of marked him as his, and Dean felt a very unlike-himself blush rise in his face at the thought. Evidence of Castiel's touch on his body... He shivered, and decided that he would have to give Cas a hickey at some point tonight. Just so he could leave a mark of his own on Castiel. He grinned at the thought and kept kissing him until Cas nearly crushed him.

The look of embarrassment on Castiel's face was adorable. The laugh made it all the more endearing. He had so rarely heard Castiel laugh, and he was hearing it most tonight. Dean chuckled softly and repeated himself for the third time that night. "Don't ever change, Cas. Really." He inhaled sharply as Castiel embraced him, and his lips returned to his throat. Dean's eyes closed of their own accord, and he had to stop himself from bucking his hips against Cas. A simple kiss was all it took to make him rock hard, and it felt almost painful against the inside of his jeans.

"Jealous?" Dean said, his throat suddenly dry. Cas loved him enough to get jealous of him being with someone else. Dean grinned, and put his hands underneath Castiel's shirt, running them up his back and feeling a very unfamiliar but very sexy sensation of powerful muscle and sinew under skin. He heard Cas giggle and raised his eyebrows in shock, but then broke into laughter himself. It was so ridiculous for Cas to be jealous of him and Anna. They had shared one night together, and Dean knew it wasn't going to happen again. She was too scrawny. And besides, the only angel Dean wanted near him was Cas.

He whispered to him, "No need to be jealous... You're the only angel I want." He wanted to kiss Cas, but couldn't while he was still buried in his neck. And then... oh hell... those soft kisses on his throat almost made his knees buckle. He struggled to speak, and managed to croak out a hoarse, "Y-yes..." For a beginner, Cas was learning real fast, and Dean had to fight to keep control of himself. He pulled Castiel hard against him, his hands still under his shirt and pressed firmly against his back. His nails pressed lightly against the angel's flesh as he kept kissing him, and Dean finally broke and whimpered, "Fuck, Cas, you're killing me here..." He was killing him in the best possible way, but Dean wasn't sure how much more he could take.

**************************

Castiel smiled again when Dean said he was the only angel he wanted and he couldn't help the little "good" that left his lips as he continued kissing along Dean's neck. They were pressed hard against each other now and he could feel Dean pressing hard against his hip and it made him whimper softly. Not to speak of what it did for his own growing erection. He couldn't stop himself from nipping along the path he'd just finished kissing. His teeth grabbing, tasting Dean's skin. He wanted to stay here and do this forever. But more than that he wanted to kiss Dean again. To have Dean kissing him.

He almost lost it when he felt Dean sneak his hands inside his trench coat and up the back of his shirt. His warm hands firm and strong as they explore the muscles covering Castiel's back. The contact of skin on skin, of Dean's hands seemingly all over his back made him so hard he actually squirmed in pain against Dean's hips. It had been an innocent reaction to the ache in his pants, but the feeling it created in Cas made him gasp loudly. The way the movement had created a friction over his cock had sent a wave of pleasure through him that had him shaking. "Fuck" He moaned out.

The next time Dean spoke, the sound of his voice did nothing at all to help the desire that was threatening to over come Cas. Dean sounded hoarse, his voice deep and struggling to keep its control. It was the sexiest thing Castiel had ever heard and he was surprised he was able to remain upright through all of this. Though only marginally, his legs were like jelly.

When Dean told Cas he was killing him he looked up at him in alarm, his eyes suddenly worried. It only took one look at Dean however to see that the man was in no way in danger of actually dying. "Don't say things like that" Castiel hissed hotly against Dean's ear. "Unless you are actually dying" He bit down on Dean's earlobe once, not sure why he did it, just knowing he had really wanted to, before he pulled back enough to look into Dean's eyes again. "I want you so badly Dean" He murmured as his erection pressed against Dean's in a way that felt so damn good he thought it might all be over for him way to soon.

And then he was kissing Dean again, his mouth found his and it was a different kiss this time. It was hot and hungry and passionate. Castiel pressed his mouth to Deans like he wanted to crawl inside of him. Like he couldn't get close enough, couldn't get enough. Because he couldn't. And without really knowing what he was doing Cas found he was pushing Dean backward, moving them both further into the room. His hands were tearing at Dean's jacket as he moved, trying to pull it off his shoulders. He didn't know what he was doing, all he knew was it felt right and he had never wanted to do something more than he wanted to get Dean's clothes off and him on to the bed right now.

He was going to show him just how right Dean had been to pick him. To want him. Out of all the world, Dean wanted him and Cas was going to prove to him he hadn't made a mistake. That Castiel was who he belonged with. "Love. You. So. Much." Cas hissed out as he continued the hungry heated kiss. He didn't know why he'd said it, just that he'd wanted to and that he was glad he had. It felt right. It felt so right. Because it was so true.

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part 4b
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