Title: The Letter - J2 [part 4/?]
Title: The Letter - J2 [part 4/?]
Author: kimisgirl
Pairing: Jensen/Jared
Rating: PG - NC17
Warnings: Some what AU (the boys knew each other and went to college together, oh and Jensen is gay, but in the closet. They still work on Supernatural now though)
Summary: Jared finds a letter written by Jensen and it turns his whole world upside down. Will he man up and work out how he feels about Jensen now he knows the truth or will their friendships crash and burn?
AN: Just a little plot bunny that wouldn't leave me alone till I wrote it down. This is a work in progress and a chapter will be put up every second day!
The graphics: The letter was written and made by me, the story artwork was put together by me, the image used was made by b_split and she very wonderfully granted me permission to use it :D so thank you very much love! Hope you like the story when it's done.
Previous Chapter
Jared felt the smile creeping onto his face slowly, curling at the sides of his mouth. A small twitch that turned his lips up at the corners, slowly revealing his dimples as he sat with his head lowered, hands on the table in front of him. He didn’t move to look at Jensen, just sat, palms down on the cool surface, as he let what his best friend in the world had just said. He barely heard anything after Jensen’s soft yes. It was like everything froze around him and his brain just went to mush. All that keep looping in his head was that Jensen loved him. Really like, loved him.
Holy shit
It vaguely registered that Jensen was still beside him, that he had kept talking, that the man was shaking so much Jared could feel the vibrations that ran down the legs of Jen’s chair, through the floor and up the legs of Jared’s.
He might have sat there all day like that, just soaking up the weird, warm feeling in side him. The feeling like something sliding home and clicking in place, the feeling that had always been missing, the reason he hadn’t been able to marry Sandy... Holy fuck he thought to himself.
He couldn’t stay still, couldn’t just sit there the way he was, not with Jensen beside him visibly shaking, clearly scared out of his mind and thinking.... well Jared didn’t have a clue what he was thinking but the younger man would bet his left nut it wasn’t nothin’ good. So slowly he reached across the table, not looking up, just his eye’s tracking his hands movements as he reached for Jensen’s hand, the one gripping to his coffee mug off to Jared’s left like Jensen’s life depended on it, like it was a life line.
Tugging gently on Jensen’s wrist, Jared felt the older man’s arm tense under his fingers, but he gently persisted, he needed this, needed the contact, needed to tell Jensen that it was ok, and right now he wasn’t sure he remembered how his tongue worked, never mind words. He pulled a little more firmly and Jensen relented and let the mug in his hand go. Jared took the opportunity to slide his hand over Jensen’s and grip it tight, threading their fingers together and squeezing. He felt Jensen’s hand squeeze back and heard his breath hitch beside him.
They sat like that, neither daring to look up or speak, neither were sure how long they sat there, time not really meaning much to either right now. Jared’s soft smile never leaving his lips, and he was relieved when he felt Jensen slowly stop shaking so violently, although the man was still trembling, Jared could feel it where their arms pressed together. Then again, it could have been his trembling that he was feeling.
~*~
Jensen couldn’t breath... no like really, he couldn’t fucking breath...
And the reason? Jared, Jared, fucking Padalecki was holding his hand.
He was fairly certain he was about to hyperventilate, like right the fuck now! He was also fairly sure he hadn’t died... because heaven couldn’t be this fucking scary could it? Then again, Jared was still there, like, right there, after he’d admitted that what was in the letter was true, that it was still true. And he was holding his goddamn hand. No screaming, no yelling, no bolting out the door in disgust. Or worse, throwing him through the door in disgust...
So yeah, fairly sure he’s not dead, but not convinced he ain’t fuckin’ dreaming. Maybe he just never actually got up this morning...
He was finally ready to open his mouth and talk he decided, after what felt like a life time, cause it was pretty clear that Jared wasn’t gonna be the first to talk.
“Jay...” he started just as the front door opened and banged shut and there was a crashing of heavy foot steps down the hall.
“Yo?!”
“Fuck” Jensen cursed and yanked his hand from Jared’s as he stood. He’d completely forgotten he’d told Chris to drop round this morning for breakfast. Why the fuck had he done that again? “Damn it”
“Hey Jenny, how you doin’ son?” Christ said happily as he slapped a now standing Jensen on the shoulder.
“Jared, how’s it goin’ man?” He asked as he turned to the younger man and smiled.
“Ah yeah, hey Chris” Jensen said uncomfortably, at a complete lose as to what to do next.
~*~
Chris stood in the kitchen and the grin on his face slowly fell a little as the tension in the room washed over him. It was tangible and he wasn’t sure if it was him, or them or what, all he knew was that something wasn’t right. There was never tension like this between his boys, and he had no idea what was going on, but he was damn sure gonna find out. He loved Jensen like a brother, and he knew for a fact that Jared was about the only person in the damn world who had enough of Jensen to break his friend beyond repair. And he was just gonna have to see to it that that didn’t happen.
“Jenny, c’mon with me a moment would ya, got something needin’ outta the truck and it’s to big for me to lug around on my own.” His tone was relaxed and carefree, cause yeah boy, he could act the shit out of it when he needed to thanks, these boys weren’t the only ones with skills.
“Huh?”
“Truck, now, heavy shit, need help. Any of this getting through?”
He glanced at Jared who looked about ready to jump up and come help too, even if the young man still had a sort of dazed, in shock look on his face.
“Stay put biggin’ me and Jen can manage it.”
With that he grabbed Jensen’s arm by the shoulder and dragged him along and out the front to his suspiciously empty truck.
“Ok, spill, what the fuck was that?” he demanded once he was leaning up against the side of his pickup looking carefully at Jensen who was determined it seemed to not meet his eye’s.
“Nothin’ ‘m fine” Jensen mumbled.
“Never asked if you weren’t” Chris pointed out and received a pissed off look from Jensen.
“What, just sayin’, never asked how you were, asked what was goin’ on. Lot of tension in that kitchen Jen and I ain’t seen it before. So spit it out boy or I’ll beat it outta ya”
He wouldn’t of course, but right now he wanted Jensen to talk, starting now.
“Chris, I swear man, it’s nothin’ we were just having breakfast”
“Bullshit” Chris scoffed. “C’mon son, I know you better than you think I do. What did Jared do?
“What? Why would you think Jay’s done something?” Jensen snapped defensively.
Chris snorted.
“Ok, so it wasn’t the kid then, what did you do then?”
Jensen didn’t answer, just turned away and ran a hand over his face and hair.
“Yeah ok, knew something went down, what you do, finally confess that your sun rises outta the kid’s ass?”
He almost laughed at Jensen’s reaction to that. The man was gapping at him, mouth hanging open before snapping shut and then the glare he clocked him with was almost priceless. It would have been if not for just how seriously on the money Chris could see he was. He had long ago realised just how stupidly in love with Jared Jensen was. Jensen had never said a word to him, hell he wasn’t even sure the man’s own parents knew, but it was so glaringly obvious if anyone bothered to look. He was pretty sure the news wouldn’t come as much of a shock to Donna some how. Chris didn’t care, not about the fact that his best mate was into men, or that he was in love with Jared. The only thing he cared about, was exactly what Jared did if Jensen ever manned up and told him. Which apparently he had done... If Jared hurt Jensen, 6’4 tall or not, Chris was gonna kick his ass.
“Jen?”
“I... I don’t know what you’re talkin’ about” Jensen stuttered coolly.
“Alright, how about this, I’m gonna tell you something that only one other person on the planet knows about, then if you still wanna close me out, that’s your chose. Deal”
He didn’t wait for an answer, just went straight on.
“Now, this here, this is between me, you, Steve and god. No one else, you get that? It just not something that we are ready to tell folks, ok, I mean, me and Steve have been mates for a long time, and this thing, it’s still new, and we don’t wanna fuck it up by screaming about it to the world.”
He paused to collect his thoughts; he’d never actually said the words out loud to anyone other than Steve before and now he was nervous as fuck about it.
“Chris?” Jensen pushed softly, a look somewhere between shock and confusion on his face.
“I’m in love with Steve, me and him, we’re....”
“You’re what?” Jensen asked in shock, taking a step toward his friend.
“We’re together” Chris finishes with a rush of breath. “We just... god Jen, we danced around it for so long. In the end, we got way to drunk and both started saying shit that we never
would have said if it weren’t for the shit load of whiskey. But by the end of it, we both realised we felt the same way, and when we were finally sober enough and over the ‘holy shit what did I just do’ phase. We decided to give it a go. So yeah... that’s my story. Now, you wanna tell me what’s goin’ on, then go for it, I’m here man, if not, your choice. But trust me when I say, chances are, I’ll understand more than you think.”
Jensen just stared at him in complete shock from what Chris could see. Chris couldn’t help it, the look on his friends face was so comical he couldn’t hold back the loud bark of laughter that bubbled up his throat.
That seemed to break Jensen out of his trance somewhat and he gave Chris a slightly sheepish grin.
“Yeah, yeah ok man... shit really? You and Steve? Fuck! That one I didn’t see comin’. You happy man?”
Chris laughed again, “Yeah really, and shit yeah Jen, you have met Steve before right? C’mon man, what’s there not to be happy with. The man’s awesome.” Chris knew he was grinning like a Cheshire cat on crack, but he finally had someone to talk about Steve too that wasn’t you know... Steve.
Jensen laughed and shook his head. “Well good, but me and him... gonna have words, gotta get all big brother on his ass ya know”
“Dude, I’m older than you.”
“So not the point Christian”
“Yeah what ever... so, question time”
“Let me have it then, I can work out what’s comin’”
“I gotta go get all big brother on that kid in there Jenny?” Chris asked pointedly?
Jensen looked at him seriously, smile slipping and then he slowly smiled again before nodding slightly. “Yeah, yeah, maybe you do. Just... just not yet yeah. Let us figure out what the fuck is happenin’ before you run off the only guy I’ve ever actually given a fuck about yeah?”
“Jensen, I’m hurt”
“Shut up asshole, you know what I mean, I love you man, but I sure as hell don’t love your ugly ass like that...”
Chris grinned “Good to know, not sure Steve would like ya much if you did. So what happened before I got here then?”
“If we’re gonna have this conversation, then we’re gonna have coffee with it, get in the truck old man, you’re takin’ me to breakfast.”
With that Chris watched Jensen run back into the house, guessing he had to tell Jared he was going out. A few minutes later he was back and they were heading down the road into down town Vancouver.
~*~
Part 5
Comments are love as always. Sorry about the wait, real life getting in the way as always! Unbeta'd again, sorry.
Author: kimisgirl
Pairing: Jensen/Jared
Rating: PG - NC17
Warnings: Some what AU (the boys knew each other and went to college together, oh and Jensen is gay, but in the closet. They still work on Supernatural now though)
Summary: Jared finds a letter written by Jensen and it turns his whole world upside down. Will he man up and work out how he feels about Jensen now he knows the truth or will their friendships crash and burn?
AN: Just a little plot bunny that wouldn't leave me alone till I wrote it down. This is a work in progress and a chapter will be put up every second day!
The graphics: The letter was written and made by me, the story artwork was put together by me, the image used was made by b_split and she very wonderfully granted me permission to use it :D so thank you very much love! Hope you like the story when it's done.
Previous Chapter
Jared felt the smile creeping onto his face slowly, curling at the sides of his mouth. A small twitch that turned his lips up at the corners, slowly revealing his dimples as he sat with his head lowered, hands on the table in front of him. He didn’t move to look at Jensen, just sat, palms down on the cool surface, as he let what his best friend in the world had just said. He barely heard anything after Jensen’s soft yes. It was like everything froze around him and his brain just went to mush. All that keep looping in his head was that Jensen loved him. Really like, loved him.
Holy shit
It vaguely registered that Jensen was still beside him, that he had kept talking, that the man was shaking so much Jared could feel the vibrations that ran down the legs of Jen’s chair, through the floor and up the legs of Jared’s.
He might have sat there all day like that, just soaking up the weird, warm feeling in side him. The feeling like something sliding home and clicking in place, the feeling that had always been missing, the reason he hadn’t been able to marry Sandy... Holy fuck he thought to himself.
He couldn’t stay still, couldn’t just sit there the way he was, not with Jensen beside him visibly shaking, clearly scared out of his mind and thinking.... well Jared didn’t have a clue what he was thinking but the younger man would bet his left nut it wasn’t nothin’ good. So slowly he reached across the table, not looking up, just his eye’s tracking his hands movements as he reached for Jensen’s hand, the one gripping to his coffee mug off to Jared’s left like Jensen’s life depended on it, like it was a life line.
Tugging gently on Jensen’s wrist, Jared felt the older man’s arm tense under his fingers, but he gently persisted, he needed this, needed the contact, needed to tell Jensen that it was ok, and right now he wasn’t sure he remembered how his tongue worked, never mind words. He pulled a little more firmly and Jensen relented and let the mug in his hand go. Jared took the opportunity to slide his hand over Jensen’s and grip it tight, threading their fingers together and squeezing. He felt Jensen’s hand squeeze back and heard his breath hitch beside him.
They sat like that, neither daring to look up or speak, neither were sure how long they sat there, time not really meaning much to either right now. Jared’s soft smile never leaving his lips, and he was relieved when he felt Jensen slowly stop shaking so violently, although the man was still trembling, Jared could feel it where their arms pressed together. Then again, it could have been his trembling that he was feeling.
~*~
Jensen couldn’t breath... no like really, he couldn’t fucking breath...
And the reason? Jared, Jared, fucking Padalecki was holding his hand.
He was fairly certain he was about to hyperventilate, like right the fuck now! He was also fairly sure he hadn’t died... because heaven couldn’t be this fucking scary could it? Then again, Jared was still there, like, right there, after he’d admitted that what was in the letter was true, that it was still true. And he was holding his goddamn hand. No screaming, no yelling, no bolting out the door in disgust. Or worse, throwing him through the door in disgust...
So yeah, fairly sure he’s not dead, but not convinced he ain’t fuckin’ dreaming. Maybe he just never actually got up this morning...
He was finally ready to open his mouth and talk he decided, after what felt like a life time, cause it was pretty clear that Jared wasn’t gonna be the first to talk.
“Jay...” he started just as the front door opened and banged shut and there was a crashing of heavy foot steps down the hall.
“Yo?!”
“Fuck” Jensen cursed and yanked his hand from Jared’s as he stood. He’d completely forgotten he’d told Chris to drop round this morning for breakfast. Why the fuck had he done that again? “Damn it”
“Hey Jenny, how you doin’ son?” Christ said happily as he slapped a now standing Jensen on the shoulder.
“Jared, how’s it goin’ man?” He asked as he turned to the younger man and smiled.
“Ah yeah, hey Chris” Jensen said uncomfortably, at a complete lose as to what to do next.
~*~
Chris stood in the kitchen and the grin on his face slowly fell a little as the tension in the room washed over him. It was tangible and he wasn’t sure if it was him, or them or what, all he knew was that something wasn’t right. There was never tension like this between his boys, and he had no idea what was going on, but he was damn sure gonna find out. He loved Jensen like a brother, and he knew for a fact that Jared was about the only person in the damn world who had enough of Jensen to break his friend beyond repair. And he was just gonna have to see to it that that didn’t happen.
“Jenny, c’mon with me a moment would ya, got something needin’ outta the truck and it’s to big for me to lug around on my own.” His tone was relaxed and carefree, cause yeah boy, he could act the shit out of it when he needed to thanks, these boys weren’t the only ones with skills.
“Huh?”
“Truck, now, heavy shit, need help. Any of this getting through?”
He glanced at Jared who looked about ready to jump up and come help too, even if the young man still had a sort of dazed, in shock look on his face.
“Stay put biggin’ me and Jen can manage it.”
With that he grabbed Jensen’s arm by the shoulder and dragged him along and out the front to his suspiciously empty truck.
“Ok, spill, what the fuck was that?” he demanded once he was leaning up against the side of his pickup looking carefully at Jensen who was determined it seemed to not meet his eye’s.
“Nothin’ ‘m fine” Jensen mumbled.
“Never asked if you weren’t” Chris pointed out and received a pissed off look from Jensen.
“What, just sayin’, never asked how you were, asked what was goin’ on. Lot of tension in that kitchen Jen and I ain’t seen it before. So spit it out boy or I’ll beat it outta ya”
He wouldn’t of course, but right now he wanted Jensen to talk, starting now.
“Chris, I swear man, it’s nothin’ we were just having breakfast”
“Bullshit” Chris scoffed. “C’mon son, I know you better than you think I do. What did Jared do?
“What? Why would you think Jay’s done something?” Jensen snapped defensively.
Chris snorted.
“Ok, so it wasn’t the kid then, what did you do then?”
Jensen didn’t answer, just turned away and ran a hand over his face and hair.
“Yeah ok, knew something went down, what you do, finally confess that your sun rises outta the kid’s ass?”
He almost laughed at Jensen’s reaction to that. The man was gapping at him, mouth hanging open before snapping shut and then the glare he clocked him with was almost priceless. It would have been if not for just how seriously on the money Chris could see he was. He had long ago realised just how stupidly in love with Jared Jensen was. Jensen had never said a word to him, hell he wasn’t even sure the man’s own parents knew, but it was so glaringly obvious if anyone bothered to look. He was pretty sure the news wouldn’t come as much of a shock to Donna some how. Chris didn’t care, not about the fact that his best mate was into men, or that he was in love with Jared. The only thing he cared about, was exactly what Jared did if Jensen ever manned up and told him. Which apparently he had done... If Jared hurt Jensen, 6’4 tall or not, Chris was gonna kick his ass.
“Jen?”
“I... I don’t know what you’re talkin’ about” Jensen stuttered coolly.
“Alright, how about this, I’m gonna tell you something that only one other person on the planet knows about, then if you still wanna close me out, that’s your chose. Deal”
He didn’t wait for an answer, just went straight on.
“Now, this here, this is between me, you, Steve and god. No one else, you get that? It just not something that we are ready to tell folks, ok, I mean, me and Steve have been mates for a long time, and this thing, it’s still new, and we don’t wanna fuck it up by screaming about it to the world.”
He paused to collect his thoughts; he’d never actually said the words out loud to anyone other than Steve before and now he was nervous as fuck about it.
“Chris?” Jensen pushed softly, a look somewhere between shock and confusion on his face.
“I’m in love with Steve, me and him, we’re....”
“You’re what?” Jensen asked in shock, taking a step toward his friend.
“We’re together” Chris finishes with a rush of breath. “We just... god Jen, we danced around it for so long. In the end, we got way to drunk and both started saying shit that we never
would have said if it weren’t for the shit load of whiskey. But by the end of it, we both realised we felt the same way, and when we were finally sober enough and over the ‘holy shit what did I just do’ phase. We decided to give it a go. So yeah... that’s my story. Now, you wanna tell me what’s goin’ on, then go for it, I’m here man, if not, your choice. But trust me when I say, chances are, I’ll understand more than you think.”
Jensen just stared at him in complete shock from what Chris could see. Chris couldn’t help it, the look on his friends face was so comical he couldn’t hold back the loud bark of laughter that bubbled up his throat.
That seemed to break Jensen out of his trance somewhat and he gave Chris a slightly sheepish grin.
“Yeah, yeah ok man... shit really? You and Steve? Fuck! That one I didn’t see comin’. You happy man?”
Chris laughed again, “Yeah really, and shit yeah Jen, you have met Steve before right? C’mon man, what’s there not to be happy with. The man’s awesome.” Chris knew he was grinning like a Cheshire cat on crack, but he finally had someone to talk about Steve too that wasn’t you know... Steve.
Jensen laughed and shook his head. “Well good, but me and him... gonna have words, gotta get all big brother on his ass ya know”
“Dude, I’m older than you.”
“So not the point Christian”
“Yeah what ever... so, question time”
“Let me have it then, I can work out what’s comin’”
“I gotta go get all big brother on that kid in there Jenny?” Chris asked pointedly?
Jensen looked at him seriously, smile slipping and then he slowly smiled again before nodding slightly. “Yeah, yeah, maybe you do. Just... just not yet yeah. Let us figure out what the fuck is happenin’ before you run off the only guy I’ve ever actually given a fuck about yeah?”
“Jensen, I’m hurt”
“Shut up asshole, you know what I mean, I love you man, but I sure as hell don’t love your ugly ass like that...”
Chris grinned “Good to know, not sure Steve would like ya much if you did. So what happened before I got here then?”
“If we’re gonna have this conversation, then we’re gonna have coffee with it, get in the truck old man, you’re takin’ me to breakfast.”
With that Chris watched Jensen run back into the house, guessing he had to tell Jared he was going out. A few minutes later he was back and they were heading down the road into down town Vancouver.
~*~
Part 5
Comments are love as always. Sorry about the wait, real life getting in the way as always! Unbeta'd again, sorry.