Things Fall Apart - Abandon All Hope [Part 4a/? - NC17]
Title: Things Fall Apart [Part 4a/?]
Authors: kimisgirl (wrote Cas, future!dean and Future!Cas) and doubledgedsword (wrote Dean)
Pairing: Castiel/Dean
Rating/Warnings: NC17 this part. Non.Con. Mental and Physical abuse hinted at.this chapter does contain rape. Please do not read if you don't like that. Thanks
Summary: The future Dean finds himself in thanks to Zachariah is not like the past he has just left. He and Castiel are no longer together and he is shocked to find out just how bad it's gone for them. He is horrified by his future self and how broken he has become. Can he do anything
AN: This is a continuation of the "A love story" verse. It can stand alone if you don't want to read the previous story. But parts of it will make more sense if you do read it :D. This story is completely written and parts will be put up ever second day or so! Hope you like it.
Disclaimer: None of the supernatural characters or storylines belong to us :( -sad face-
Oh yeah, he was mad now, hell mad didn't even begin to cover it. This wasn't just anger. No anger was to simple an emotion and not nearly strong enough. Maybe rage would have worked better. It still didn't seem to cover the mess of bullshit in his head right now. he was pretty damn sure he'd never been quite this fucked up. And between him and the stars, that was fucking saying something.
This was the sort of shit that he needed to talk to him about. The one who had always been there for him. The one good thing he'd had in his whole bullshit life. The one thing that he had selfishly clung to for so long. Until his own anger and self-hatred had systematically and resolutely destroyed the good, the love, the warmth. Until he stood over the wreckage, cold, hard, dead inside, and filled with so much hate, he'd not even noticed the twisted, burning, strangled heap lying before him in the ashes. He hadn't seen what he'd done to Cas. Blinded by the anger, he'd never seen, never....
Not until he had shoved his fucking nose in it. Had forced him to open his eyes and actually see, actually feel for the first time, what he'd done to the love of his life. And he wanted it to stop, Right. The. Fuck. Now. The hatred, the knowing, the feeling. And he wasn't sure what he wanted to do more. Kill past him, Cas or himself. Dean wasn't.... hell he wasn't sure he was even human anymore. He knew enough about demons to realise he may have had more in common with them these days than his own species. "Ha!" he snorted. "There's some fucking irony for ya" he muttered harshly into the cold night as he walked the perimeter of the camp briskly.
So yeah, he knew, he fucking saw it all to damned clearly now. Problem was.... there was nothing left inside of him any more that could have brought him to care, to feel anything but this gut twisting hatred. For himself, yeah sure, nothing new there, he'd been hating himself with different levels of intensity since hell. It wasn't just hatred for himself right now though. Oh no, there was a deep, intense hate for Castiel that had been simmering under the surface for years. And now it was boiling over, spitting and hissing out of him in waves. It was irrational, undeserved and completely over powering.
Dean stopped and stared up at the run down camping cabin in front of him blinking. He wasn't even sure how he'd ended up here. Wasn't aware of where he'd been going while he was walking. All he knew as he pulled his jacket tighter around him to block out the cold wind that was buffeting against him was that he was here. And a blinding flash of white hot rage surged through him as he stared into the dark at Castiel's cabin. There was a dim light pouring from the small wooden framed window. And as he watched it all the memories came back like a slide show behind his eye lids.
Everything the past Dean had shouted at him. Past Dean punching him... really. fucking. hard. Cas showing up to the meeting tonight wearing past hims shirt. What. The. Fuck? Cas smiling, fucking laughing at past him. Saying he liked past him. It all crossed his minds eyes as he stood int he dark, seething.
And then suddenly he was moving, muscles tight, tense, face set in rage. If looks could kill.....
He didn't stop till he was inside the cabin. Till he was standing, pressing a terrified and trembling Cas held against the cabin wall. One hand wrapped hard around Cas' throat, squeezing just tight enough to make Cas' eyes widen and the man to gasp for breath. His other was fisted in that shirt, his shirt, the other him. Anger burned in his eyes, he couldn't talk, could hardly breath through the cruel pain drowning him. Castiel was cowering from him as best he could, shaking like he'd never been so terrified in his life. Maybe he never had. Hell Dean was fairly certain he'd never been this angry or this dangerous. The look in Cas' eyes hurt him so deep it made him shake. Which only served to enrage him further.
He couldn't handle Cas gazing at him with those big blue eyes any longer. He released his hold on Cas' throat and spun him roughly around, shoving his chest hard against the wall. He pressed himself hard into Cas' back and growled lowly, hips grinding into the man in front of him. Nuzzling his head into the back of Cas' neck.
"This is what you want isn't it baby" he growled harshly. One hand pressed into his hip, holding him in place. Locking Cas down, fingers digging in bruising and painful. The other reached around and violently tugged Cas' jeans undone. Ripping at the button and pulling down his zipper.
"Dean" Cas whispered almost to quietly to be heard, though the pain and fear screamed out of the whispered voice into the room. "Please.... don't...."
Cas shuttered violently under Dean's touch when Dean pushed his hand down inside Cas' underwear and took hold of his flaccid cock, gripping it too tight, fondling him roughly. It was as though Cas was repulsed by the touch and that only served to make Dean even more angry.
He growled after a few moments when Cas refused to play along and his cock dropped from Dean's hand limp and slightly swollen from Dean's rough handling of it.
"Don't tell me the camp whore can't get it up..." he snapped harshly in Cas' ear as he forced the man's jeans and underpants off his hips and down his legs. He still had Cas trapped under him, one hand still holding him locked down. Cas wiggled when Dean started to undo his own belt and jeans, shoving them down enough to free his throbbing cock. God it had been to long since he'd done this, since he'd felt the angel's hot ass around him.
"Dean.... no... don't.... please.... don't" Castiel whimpered desperately as he tried in vain to get away from Dean.
"Aww what's wrong precious, you can't tell me you're not gonna love it, you know you want me to fuck you, that's why you went and told him that you still love me isn't it" It wasn't a question, it was a taunt, and a cruel one. He knew what he was doing here, knew exactly what he was doing and yet he still couldn't stop. He knew he had to stop, that this was wrong and yet some how that only made him want it more.
He grabbed his shaft by the base, he didn't have any lube on him... fuck it, the man was a whore, he could deal with it, he decided. In truth, he just didn't care anymore if he hurt Cas. He wanted to hurt him. He wrapped his other arm tight around Cas' waist and lined himself up, head of his cock pressing against Cas' ring of muscle.
"Gonna fucking hurt baby, but you're gonna love it, you dirty slut" he murmured against Cas' ear cruelly before thrusting in hard and fast in one deep movement he was buried balls deep inside of Cas and growling out loudly with pleasure and anger.
Cas didn't scream, didn't yell or shout. Hell he didn't even move, he just seemed to fold in on himself. Dean felt him go limp in Dean's arms and he started sliding down the cabin wall as Dean thrust in and out of him, fucking him hard and fast. He couldn't hold him up like this and fuck him the way he wanted to so he lifted him using the arm that was locked around his waist and moved them both so Cas' top half was laying limp over the bed, his ass and legs hanging over it. Once he'd gotten him there, Dean shoved in again and continued to fuck him.... no a small voice deep inside him yelled at him you're not fucking him asshole, you're raping him, raping your Cas, you sick motherfucking piece of shit
He growled loudly and slammed in again feeling the tight burn of friction ease as he looked down and saw blood around his cock. It sickened him, but he couldn't stop, he pushed the voice away, focused on his anger, focused on the rage.
Dean inside, he was screaming, praying for someone, anyone to come and stop him, to do what he couldn't. To pull him off, to beat him down until he couldn't stand, couldn't walk, couldn't keep fucking hurting Cas.
Cas could have been dead for all the noise he made, it had to be hurting him in ways Dean couldn't even imagine as he slammed in over and over, more and more blood coating his cock. The man beneath him was still, limp, broken.
LOOK AT HIM, his brain screamed at him, SEE WHAT YOU'VE DONE, YOU DESERVE WHAT YOU GOT YOU FUCK. YOU DESERVE IT ALL, NO WONDER SAM CHOSE LUCIFER.... YOU SICK, SICK, SICK BASTARD....
but he couldn't stop... oh god why couldn't he stop....
~*~
TBC
I have put this in it's own chapter because honestly I think it needs it. It nearly killed me to write it, there were tears let me tell ya! And I know it can be hard to read, but I think it was a needed part of the story. I hope y'all enjoy it and bare with me. Things will start to improve from here I promise.
Authors: kimisgirl (wrote Cas, future!dean and Future!Cas) and doubledgedsword (wrote Dean)
Pairing: Castiel/Dean
Rating/Warnings: NC17 this part. Non.Con. Mental and Physical abuse hinted at.this chapter does contain rape. Please do not read if you don't like that. Thanks
Summary: The future Dean finds himself in thanks to Zachariah is not like the past he has just left. He and Castiel are no longer together and he is shocked to find out just how bad it's gone for them. He is horrified by his future self and how broken he has become. Can he do anything
AN: This is a continuation of the "A love story" verse. It can stand alone if you don't want to read the previous story. But parts of it will make more sense if you do read it :D. This story is completely written and parts will be put up ever second day or so! Hope you like it.
Disclaimer: None of the supernatural characters or storylines belong to us :( -sad face-
Oh yeah, he was mad now, hell mad didn't even begin to cover it. This wasn't just anger. No anger was to simple an emotion and not nearly strong enough. Maybe rage would have worked better. It still didn't seem to cover the mess of bullshit in his head right now. he was pretty damn sure he'd never been quite this fucked up. And between him and the stars, that was fucking saying something.
This was the sort of shit that he needed to talk to him about. The one who had always been there for him. The one good thing he'd had in his whole bullshit life. The one thing that he had selfishly clung to for so long. Until his own anger and self-hatred had systematically and resolutely destroyed the good, the love, the warmth. Until he stood over the wreckage, cold, hard, dead inside, and filled with so much hate, he'd not even noticed the twisted, burning, strangled heap lying before him in the ashes. He hadn't seen what he'd done to Cas. Blinded by the anger, he'd never seen, never....
Not until he had shoved his fucking nose in it. Had forced him to open his eyes and actually see, actually feel for the first time, what he'd done to the love of his life. And he wanted it to stop, Right. The. Fuck. Now. The hatred, the knowing, the feeling. And he wasn't sure what he wanted to do more. Kill past him, Cas or himself. Dean wasn't.... hell he wasn't sure he was even human anymore. He knew enough about demons to realise he may have had more in common with them these days than his own species. "Ha!" he snorted. "There's some fucking irony for ya" he muttered harshly into the cold night as he walked the perimeter of the camp briskly.
So yeah, he knew, he fucking saw it all to damned clearly now. Problem was.... there was nothing left inside of him any more that could have brought him to care, to feel anything but this gut twisting hatred. For himself, yeah sure, nothing new there, he'd been hating himself with different levels of intensity since hell. It wasn't just hatred for himself right now though. Oh no, there was a deep, intense hate for Castiel that had been simmering under the surface for years. And now it was boiling over, spitting and hissing out of him in waves. It was irrational, undeserved and completely over powering.
Dean stopped and stared up at the run down camping cabin in front of him blinking. He wasn't even sure how he'd ended up here. Wasn't aware of where he'd been going while he was walking. All he knew as he pulled his jacket tighter around him to block out the cold wind that was buffeting against him was that he was here. And a blinding flash of white hot rage surged through him as he stared into the dark at Castiel's cabin. There was a dim light pouring from the small wooden framed window. And as he watched it all the memories came back like a slide show behind his eye lids.
Everything the past Dean had shouted at him. Past Dean punching him... really. fucking. hard. Cas showing up to the meeting tonight wearing past hims shirt. What. The. Fuck? Cas smiling, fucking laughing at past him. Saying he liked past him. It all crossed his minds eyes as he stood int he dark, seething.
And then suddenly he was moving, muscles tight, tense, face set in rage. If looks could kill.....
He didn't stop till he was inside the cabin. Till he was standing, pressing a terrified and trembling Cas held against the cabin wall. One hand wrapped hard around Cas' throat, squeezing just tight enough to make Cas' eyes widen and the man to gasp for breath. His other was fisted in that shirt, his shirt, the other him. Anger burned in his eyes, he couldn't talk, could hardly breath through the cruel pain drowning him. Castiel was cowering from him as best he could, shaking like he'd never been so terrified in his life. Maybe he never had. Hell Dean was fairly certain he'd never been this angry or this dangerous. The look in Cas' eyes hurt him so deep it made him shake. Which only served to enrage him further.
He couldn't handle Cas gazing at him with those big blue eyes any longer. He released his hold on Cas' throat and spun him roughly around, shoving his chest hard against the wall. He pressed himself hard into Cas' back and growled lowly, hips grinding into the man in front of him. Nuzzling his head into the back of Cas' neck.
"This is what you want isn't it baby" he growled harshly. One hand pressed into his hip, holding him in place. Locking Cas down, fingers digging in bruising and painful. The other reached around and violently tugged Cas' jeans undone. Ripping at the button and pulling down his zipper.
"Dean" Cas whispered almost to quietly to be heard, though the pain and fear screamed out of the whispered voice into the room. "Please.... don't...."
Cas shuttered violently under Dean's touch when Dean pushed his hand down inside Cas' underwear and took hold of his flaccid cock, gripping it too tight, fondling him roughly. It was as though Cas was repulsed by the touch and that only served to make Dean even more angry.
He growled after a few moments when Cas refused to play along and his cock dropped from Dean's hand limp and slightly swollen from Dean's rough handling of it.
"Don't tell me the camp whore can't get it up..." he snapped harshly in Cas' ear as he forced the man's jeans and underpants off his hips and down his legs. He still had Cas trapped under him, one hand still holding him locked down. Cas wiggled when Dean started to undo his own belt and jeans, shoving them down enough to free his throbbing cock. God it had been to long since he'd done this, since he'd felt the angel's hot ass around him.
"Dean.... no... don't.... please.... don't" Castiel whimpered desperately as he tried in vain to get away from Dean.
"Aww what's wrong precious, you can't tell me you're not gonna love it, you know you want me to fuck you, that's why you went and told him that you still love me isn't it" It wasn't a question, it was a taunt, and a cruel one. He knew what he was doing here, knew exactly what he was doing and yet he still couldn't stop. He knew he had to stop, that this was wrong and yet some how that only made him want it more.
He grabbed his shaft by the base, he didn't have any lube on him... fuck it, the man was a whore, he could deal with it, he decided. In truth, he just didn't care anymore if he hurt Cas. He wanted to hurt him. He wrapped his other arm tight around Cas' waist and lined himself up, head of his cock pressing against Cas' ring of muscle.
"Gonna fucking hurt baby, but you're gonna love it, you dirty slut" he murmured against Cas' ear cruelly before thrusting in hard and fast in one deep movement he was buried balls deep inside of Cas and growling out loudly with pleasure and anger.
Cas didn't scream, didn't yell or shout. Hell he didn't even move, he just seemed to fold in on himself. Dean felt him go limp in Dean's arms and he started sliding down the cabin wall as Dean thrust in and out of him, fucking him hard and fast. He couldn't hold him up like this and fuck him the way he wanted to so he lifted him using the arm that was locked around his waist and moved them both so Cas' top half was laying limp over the bed, his ass and legs hanging over it. Once he'd gotten him there, Dean shoved in again and continued to fuck him.... no a small voice deep inside him yelled at him you're not fucking him asshole, you're raping him, raping your Cas, you sick motherfucking piece of shit
He growled loudly and slammed in again feeling the tight burn of friction ease as he looked down and saw blood around his cock. It sickened him, but he couldn't stop, he pushed the voice away, focused on his anger, focused on the rage.
Dean inside, he was screaming, praying for someone, anyone to come and stop him, to do what he couldn't. To pull him off, to beat him down until he couldn't stand, couldn't walk, couldn't keep fucking hurting Cas.
Cas could have been dead for all the noise he made, it had to be hurting him in ways Dean couldn't even imagine as he slammed in over and over, more and more blood coating his cock. The man beneath him was still, limp, broken.
LOOK AT HIM, his brain screamed at him, SEE WHAT YOU'VE DONE, YOU DESERVE WHAT YOU GOT YOU FUCK. YOU DESERVE IT ALL, NO WONDER SAM CHOSE LUCIFER.... YOU SICK, SICK, SICK BASTARD....
but he couldn't stop... oh god why couldn't he stop....
~*~
TBC
I have put this in it's own chapter because honestly I think it needs it. It nearly killed me to write it, there were tears let me tell ya! And I know it can be hard to read, but I think it was a needed part of the story. I hope y'all enjoy it and bare with me. Things will start to improve from here I promise.