*my worlds crashin down on me it seems at times*

[kimipoo18]

i got the worst IM today. Someone I hold extremely close to my heart told me that he was leaving, moving, and not looking back. I was sorta "seeing" this guy for a while I guess you could call it. And man, I don't talk to him too often now, but at least I know he's here still. Now I really won't ever talk to him again. My heart like dropped! He calls me bite-size. And he was like "I'm sorry bite-size, I love you." And like tears abruptly came to my eyes, but I was around people so I didn't let them fall. It hurts real bad. Even now thinking abuot it, since I'm alone, oh yep, definitely crying. I'm going to miss that guy so much! He was such a good friend, and he was soooo freakin easy to talk to!!! And he knew me so well, he knew what I was thinking, what I wanted, and he knew the reasons why I did things. He understood me better than anyones ever understood me before. I can't even explain how empty I feel. He wants to try to meet up with me before he leaves so that he can talk to me one last time I guess. I'm looking forward to seeing him, but not letting go. I don't want to let go!!! Whoa, I'm like crying hardcore right now! I just ahhhh I'm so frustrated. And then today I was talking to Angel on the phone, and I don't know why but I felt like I missed her SOO BAD, like duh, I always miss her, but it was like whoa I really want to see this girl right now. It's almost like talking on the phone and stuff just isn't cuttin it anymore. Sometimes it hurts to talk to her. Especially when like one of us is going through something. It's so freakin hard to be so dang far away in situations like that. But I dunno what my problem is I'm super emotional right now I thik or something. I just feel so empty. No one to talk to about it either. It's like yeah, people say, "Oh, I'm there for you when you need me." or "You can talk to me about anything." But truly it's not always that easy to talk to someone abuot stuff thats wrong. It's super easy to type it in here obviously. But I dunno, people are hard to get ahold of and when your going through smething you don't want to have to try to get ahold of someone, you need their assistance now, or its too late. And the ones that usually come to my head to talk to, I have no way of getting ahold of, so basically I consider myself alone in that area. But oh well, ya gotta roll with the punches eh?
But yeah, my heart herts a lot!!!
Tomorrows Mt Zion schools graduation....I think I'm gunna go get my nails done after work before it. That will be cool.
Hopefully I see who I want to see tomorrow, not likely, but hopefully!!!