I'm Confused.....
I don't know what to do. Chris and I had a fight, and it was over the smallest things but it always brings out this inner rage I have deep down inside.I get so angry with him, and only him it seems. Well I used to yell at my parents a lot like that too when I was 17. But I can't explain why I get so angry with him, and not any of my other friends.
Is it because he knows me more then anyone else? Is it because we live together. He kept telling me that it was all my fault for pushing people aside, maybe to some degree I do, so the relationship is short and sweet. However, I honestly thought that we were going to be friends forever.
He told me today that the only reason why he was living with me is because the last time he was going to leave, i begged him to stay. So, the whole entire time he just stayed because he felt he had to? I dunno anymore. This is my interpretation mind you.
He says he cares but the only time I see any passion in anything is when we fight. He tells me nothing and yet makes me speak whatever is on my mind. That's not fair, but my life was never fair. Life is never fair.
He treats me different, and I treat him different. He doesn't trust me, and I don't trust him because of my own insecurities, and yet, I want to be his friend until my very last breath, because I believe we can make it. I love him, my best friend, he has been there for me more then I could ever ask for, it's just lately I feel he's giving up on me. He says he doesn't care, and because he doesn't care, I don't really care anymore.
So what's the matter? Why doesn't it hurt? Why don't I care anymore? Why don't I feel anything but anger?
Maybe, I should get some anger management.