(no subject)
As I was driving home tonight, I began to think of other places I would rather work. I've been lying to myself for awhile about how I enjoy my job. I've been lying to my co-workers. Two of the new nurses are already leaving. One is going to the ortho floor and one is going to the psych floor. I find myself jealous when I talk to them. I want to get out. I want to leave this floor. It's not the emotional part that bothers me. I can handle the dying patients. I can handle the families. I can't handle the rest. It's not the whole shock of having a real job and losing months of vacation and driving in the "blizzard" and not having an excuse to call off. (Ok, that kind of pissed me off.) Everything from the drama to the fast pace of nursing care is putting me closer to the edge. I just don't like it. But who really likes what they do? All jobs have downfalls. I don't want to find another job simply because I don't like the job I have now. But I do have that option and it's incredibly tempting to start looking around. I am not one to give up. But do I risk my sanity to stick with something I am starting to hate? My friend, Monica works at Children's and loves her job. I never hear her complain about it. I feel like all I do is bitch about this damn job. It's not being a nurse that I hate. It's the floor I'm on. It's the constant drama, people talking about other people, the constant admissions they dump on us that take up so much time, the extra hours we have to pick up on our fucking time of, the anxiety of bad reactions to chemo, all the fucking little things. I constantly worry. I worry about stuff I may have missed. I worked 16 hours the other night and had three new admits. I felt like I was drowning. And to make it worse, I got called in to talk to the assistant manager because someone cancelled medications that were on my shifts MARs and that is a big no-no. Of course, I didn't do it but it was done on my shift and she probably thought I was lying because who the hell else would do it? Bird always reminds me that part of life is working and there's no perfect job. I totally understand that. I just wonder if there's a better job out there for me. I'm trying to suck it up and stick it out but I'm not sure how much longer it will take before I up and walk off the floor. What I do love about nursing is the fact that I can leave and know I can easily find another job. I just don't know where I would like to look. Thoughts?