(no subject)
u_u some strange things happened at school today, yo.
Eh, I woke up late this morning, lost two energy drinks at once, and spoke with my very sleepy mom..who is in Las Vegas. I nearly missed the bus and my backpack weighed some two or three tons (WTF D:<)
I got to school and all was good until Brianna went to talk with Rachael, who is quite hated by alot of people at our school. Ben, however, seems to be leading the group. He said stupid things like "Fucking bitch is coming." or "I wish Rachael would just fucking die already."
It makes me sick to think someone like him, who was so happy and cheerful a while back, would think such illminded thoughts. And I hate being sick. But moreso, I hate surprises. And his change of attitude was a big surprise to me.
He was dragging my friend Estrella over to him to rant to her about Rachael (you'd think of how much he talks about her he'd be in love with her or something. ._.) and I was trying to pull her away, because she feels the same way I do. Kind of..she doesn't like Rachael, and I just don't really mind her.
Well, he eventually got her over, and he said "So that fucking bitch," and I just frickin lost it. I slapped him across the face so hard, his cheek reddened immediatly. He was shocked for a minute but then he got pissed.
He tried to intimidate me with a serious look and a tall stance. But it didn't really work. I am immune to that kind of thing u_u.
So then he snarls and walks away saying "bitch." Oh, how very mature of you, Ben, I'm so proud. u_u; He walked back over as if to let me know he was angry, because he stared at me the entire time, boiling. u_u
He said loud enough for me to hear him, 'I'm going to the fucking office.' and That was the first time I panicked all morning. There was a time in UA where I got violent like I did today, and I got sent to ISS. I knew, at Guyer, they would be so much more stern here, and went after him.
Thankfully, he stopped, giving me that stupid glare and looking at me.
Cariel followed us, even though I wanted to talk to him alone, and listened in. I didn't want to hear what he was thinking. That he wanted people to die. That she could just cut herself to death. I don't want to hear that..I don't need to hear that.
That's happened once to me. It may sound unbelievable. Like it's just a story, which is why I don't talk about it, but I knew a girl, who liked me. Who wanted to kiss me, and I wouldn't let her.
So she cut herself in front of me. And I could very clearly recall that feeling when Ben would speak so irrationally. So..negativly. And I cried.
Now I hate crying in front of other people. Makes me feel weak. Like I'm trying to cause a scene, and it makes me feel stupid. And the attention, ugh, I hate it which is kinda strange, but I hate the pity-like attention..
Ben didn't believe me when I told him how I felt. I could hardly say anything, sobbing so stupidly like I was. The bell rang for class, and he turned his back on me, before I could explain, or even get out a complete sentance.
I walked back to the cafeteria and suddenly I was attacked by everyone, who saw me crying. Even Graham saw me, and came to ask what was wrong (which made me really happy, but I had to go to the bathroom.).
But..even if he misunderstands, maybe it's better that way. Maybe instead of forcing his hatred on Rachael, he can let her live a little out of trouble. If he would hate me more than he did Rachael, I'm sure Rachael could live out and breath without being so terribly hated.
Mica wants to get us to talk, but I doubt she would succeed. Ben has proven his point. He's shown us how old he can be when people don't do the things he wants, or when people stand up to him.
If he got that angry..I wonder if I'm the first one?
Eh, I woke up late this morning, lost two energy drinks at once, and spoke with my very sleepy mom..who is in Las Vegas. I nearly missed the bus and my backpack weighed some two or three tons (WTF D:<)
I got to school and all was good until Brianna went to talk with Rachael, who is quite hated by alot of people at our school. Ben, however, seems to be leading the group. He said stupid things like "Fucking bitch is coming." or "I wish Rachael would just fucking die already."
It makes me sick to think someone like him, who was so happy and cheerful a while back, would think such illminded thoughts. And I hate being sick. But moreso, I hate surprises. And his change of attitude was a big surprise to me.
He was dragging my friend Estrella over to him to rant to her about Rachael (you'd think of how much he talks about her he'd be in love with her or something. ._.) and I was trying to pull her away, because she feels the same way I do. Kind of..she doesn't like Rachael, and I just don't really mind her.
Well, he eventually got her over, and he said "So that fucking bitch," and I just frickin lost it. I slapped him across the face so hard, his cheek reddened immediatly. He was shocked for a minute but then he got pissed.
He tried to intimidate me with a serious look and a tall stance. But it didn't really work. I am immune to that kind of thing u_u.
So then he snarls and walks away saying "bitch." Oh, how very mature of you, Ben, I'm so proud. u_u; He walked back over as if to let me know he was angry, because he stared at me the entire time, boiling. u_u
He said loud enough for me to hear him, 'I'm going to the fucking office.' and That was the first time I panicked all morning. There was a time in UA where I got violent like I did today, and I got sent to ISS. I knew, at Guyer, they would be so much more stern here, and went after him.
Thankfully, he stopped, giving me that stupid glare and looking at me.
Cariel followed us, even though I wanted to talk to him alone, and listened in. I didn't want to hear what he was thinking. That he wanted people to die. That she could just cut herself to death. I don't want to hear that..I don't need to hear that.
That's happened once to me. It may sound unbelievable. Like it's just a story, which is why I don't talk about it, but I knew a girl, who liked me. Who wanted to kiss me, and I wouldn't let her.
So she cut herself in front of me. And I could very clearly recall that feeling when Ben would speak so irrationally. So..negativly. And I cried.
Now I hate crying in front of other people. Makes me feel weak. Like I'm trying to cause a scene, and it makes me feel stupid. And the attention, ugh, I hate it which is kinda strange, but I hate the pity-like attention..
Ben didn't believe me when I told him how I felt. I could hardly say anything, sobbing so stupidly like I was. The bell rang for class, and he turned his back on me, before I could explain, or even get out a complete sentance.
I walked back to the cafeteria and suddenly I was attacked by everyone, who saw me crying. Even Graham saw me, and came to ask what was wrong (which made me really happy, but I had to go to the bathroom.).
But..even if he misunderstands, maybe it's better that way. Maybe instead of forcing his hatred on Rachael, he can let her live a little out of trouble. If he would hate me more than he did Rachael, I'm sure Rachael could live out and breath without being so terribly hated.
Mica wants to get us to talk, but I doubt she would succeed. Ben has proven his point. He's shown us how old he can be when people don't do the things he wants, or when people stand up to him.
If he got that angry..I wonder if I'm the first one?