life
Last night I got a call telling me Rick had come home from work, was not feeling well and drove himself to the ER. Severe chest pains, they doped him up on morphine and valium to calm him and deal with his pain. His heart seems to be fine, but they are saying his esophagus is burned from GERD. I have mixed feelings: relief that he did not have a heart attack, anger at his job for creating high stress and demanding so much from him, mad at him for eating a vat of salsa before bed with whiskey, then not sleeping well and drinking too much coffee with all his stress. Now to add insult to injury my mother was scheduled to go to Berlin for the weekend, I was to drive her. She has canceled the trip because being away from her family right now feels wrong to her. I was looking forward to a mother free weekend for once while I entertain teens for an overnight. Now I have a sick husband and my disabled mother and guests. The guests are the ones I really wanted to focus on. I am tired and grouchy yet trying to be understanding and compassionate and all I want to say is fuck off to you and you and you!