(no subject)
I would have to say these past 2 months of my life have been the most bipolar.
June
So basically all during this month, I was going through one of the hardest times in my life. So much shit was happening one after another after another. There was Danny, Hektor, Abby, Katie, and 성빈 (Sung Bin).
Danny lived in Arcadia and he was what most parents would call, "The Perfect Child." He looked good, dressed well, worked out regularly, had amazing grades, and always listened to his parents. But because of this, he was stressed out over everything and turned to drugs, alcohol, and gangs. His parents obviousl ynever knew. Then one day he couldn't take it anymore and he took his own life. He died on June 16th and I was notified on the 19th. I was devastated when the news was brought to me. His funeral was supposed to be a week later and I begged my parents to bring me down to Arcadia so I could pay my respects at his funeral. But my parents wouldn't let me because we have no relatives down there, so there would be no place for me to stay at. On the day of his funeral. I prayed for him because I wasn't able to attend.
Soon after that occured, I found out my friend in Minessota started taking Meth. His name was Hektor. He was kinda like me. He's laid back, he chills with his friends, gets decent grades and stuff. But when I learned that he started taking Meth, I called him up. I started talking to him about life and stuff, then I couldn't take it anymore. I just asked him "Why the hellare you taking meth?" We were hella good friends so we could ask whatever we wanted to each other. Then we started arguing and he made up these lame excuses of oh I wanted to defy my parents and do drugs and shit. The arguing became more intense to the point where we were swearing and shouting at each other. And I said "This isn't like you. What the hell happened to the old Hektor I knew?" And after that he just said "The old Hektor is dead. And you too are dead to me. Goodbye Brian." And he hung up. I called for days and days after, but he wouldn't pick up his phone. I would see him online and IM him but he never responded. I lost a good friend that day.
Then even more shit came up. My mom ran into my room one day and told me. Brian, 성빈 은 병원안에 있어. That means, SungBin is in the hospitol. I talked to my aunt in Korea over the phone and she told me that he got into a car accident and was in the ER. Sung Bin was the cousin that I loved when I went to Korea when I was 11. He would take me everywhere and anywhere. He was a big brother to me and he was in the ER. I always saw him as a big, strong, and kind person, but to imagine him bloody and in the hospitol was impossible.
Then, my friend in New York told me that our friend, Katie has been missing for 3 days now. She just disappeared into thin air. I didn't know what to say. At first I just thought oh she's running away, but as I was given more information, Running away soon turned into kidnap. I didn't know much info about what happened over there, but she was found safely two weeks later. But during those entire 2 weeks, I was praying, and wishing my heart out. Hoping that she would be found safe and sound. I was so worried over all of this that I wouldn't eat. I didn't feel hungry, and I barely ever ate because I was too worried for Katie.
And if all that wasn't enough. Abby, my friend in Canada. She IMed me one day and she said to me, "Brian, I'm ashamed of what I'm going to tell you, because I know you're going to be disappointed in me." And All of that other shit before had already happened. I was telling myself. No, no, no... Not another one. And she told me, she began cutting and became an anorexic. I didn't know what to say. She was hurting her own body and she never gave me a reason why. I asked Abby to tell me about what had happened to make her do that. She wouldn't tell me anything and so I begged her to tell me something. But all she did was cry and told me, "I've already put a heavy burden on you, I don't want to put any more weight onto you." And like, all of this was spinning in my mind. About what could possibly have happened and what went wrong.
That month was one of the worst, if not, the worst month in my life. I cried so much during that much. I cried almost every day because of all the shit that was going on. And all I could do was sit and watch. There was nothing I could do and it just tore my heart. I kept asking myself, "Why couldn't I save them? Why couldn't I help them? I don't think I'll be able to help anyone anymore. I don't even know if I can help myself." My entire world crashed down onto me and I didn't know what to do. I went out so much that entire month. I snuck out almost every day just to get to some place where there is peace and quiet with a good view of the stars. Or I would go outside and just scream untill I broke down crying. I guess that there are some things that certain people will always have to live with. Things like this have happened in my life before, but I never wanted them to happen again...
July
July started off okay. I saw a lot of movies. Transformers, Harry Potter, Ratatouille. Okay that's not a lot but more compared to the amount of moves I watch on a normal basis. There was Emily's July 4th party. And thanks to that I made a new friend. Me and Jackie only knew who we were, then after the party, we talked like hell. The party itself was hella fun. But the part where everyone ganged up on me to throw me into the pool right after I got out was cruel. Never the less, it took 6 people an hour to throw me in. And one of the people were Austin Huo. It took them so long xD Jackie has a recording of the part where I gave up and was thrown into the pool on her cellphone. That was basically the highlight of the day. Oh and I drifted like HELL at the Newpark Parking lot on the Lexus. Oh man that was fun.
Yeah. So how are your guy's summers so far?
June
So basically all during this month, I was going through one of the hardest times in my life. So much shit was happening one after another after another. There was Danny, Hektor, Abby, Katie, and 성빈 (Sung Bin).
Danny lived in Arcadia and he was what most parents would call, "The Perfect Child." He looked good, dressed well, worked out regularly, had amazing grades, and always listened to his parents. But because of this, he was stressed out over everything and turned to drugs, alcohol, and gangs. His parents obviousl ynever knew. Then one day he couldn't take it anymore and he took his own life. He died on June 16th and I was notified on the 19th. I was devastated when the news was brought to me. His funeral was supposed to be a week later and I begged my parents to bring me down to Arcadia so I could pay my respects at his funeral. But my parents wouldn't let me because we have no relatives down there, so there would be no place for me to stay at. On the day of his funeral. I prayed for him because I wasn't able to attend.
Soon after that occured, I found out my friend in Minessota started taking Meth. His name was Hektor. He was kinda like me. He's laid back, he chills with his friends, gets decent grades and stuff. But when I learned that he started taking Meth, I called him up. I started talking to him about life and stuff, then I couldn't take it anymore. I just asked him "Why the hellare you taking meth?" We were hella good friends so we could ask whatever we wanted to each other. Then we started arguing and he made up these lame excuses of oh I wanted to defy my parents and do drugs and shit. The arguing became more intense to the point where we were swearing and shouting at each other. And I said "This isn't like you. What the hell happened to the old Hektor I knew?" And after that he just said "The old Hektor is dead. And you too are dead to me. Goodbye Brian." And he hung up. I called for days and days after, but he wouldn't pick up his phone. I would see him online and IM him but he never responded. I lost a good friend that day.
Then even more shit came up. My mom ran into my room one day and told me. Brian, 성빈 은 병원안에 있어. That means, SungBin is in the hospitol. I talked to my aunt in Korea over the phone and she told me that he got into a car accident and was in the ER. Sung Bin was the cousin that I loved when I went to Korea when I was 11. He would take me everywhere and anywhere. He was a big brother to me and he was in the ER. I always saw him as a big, strong, and kind person, but to imagine him bloody and in the hospitol was impossible.
Then, my friend in New York told me that our friend, Katie has been missing for 3 days now. She just disappeared into thin air. I didn't know what to say. At first I just thought oh she's running away, but as I was given more information, Running away soon turned into kidnap. I didn't know much info about what happened over there, but she was found safely two weeks later. But during those entire 2 weeks, I was praying, and wishing my heart out. Hoping that she would be found safe and sound. I was so worried over all of this that I wouldn't eat. I didn't feel hungry, and I barely ever ate because I was too worried for Katie.
And if all that wasn't enough. Abby, my friend in Canada. She IMed me one day and she said to me, "Brian, I'm ashamed of what I'm going to tell you, because I know you're going to be disappointed in me." And All of that other shit before had already happened. I was telling myself. No, no, no... Not another one. And she told me, she began cutting and became an anorexic. I didn't know what to say. She was hurting her own body and she never gave me a reason why. I asked Abby to tell me about what had happened to make her do that. She wouldn't tell me anything and so I begged her to tell me something. But all she did was cry and told me, "I've already put a heavy burden on you, I don't want to put any more weight onto you." And like, all of this was spinning in my mind. About what could possibly have happened and what went wrong.
That month was one of the worst, if not, the worst month in my life. I cried so much during that much. I cried almost every day because of all the shit that was going on. And all I could do was sit and watch. There was nothing I could do and it just tore my heart. I kept asking myself, "Why couldn't I save them? Why couldn't I help them? I don't think I'll be able to help anyone anymore. I don't even know if I can help myself." My entire world crashed down onto me and I didn't know what to do. I went out so much that entire month. I snuck out almost every day just to get to some place where there is peace and quiet with a good view of the stars. Or I would go outside and just scream untill I broke down crying. I guess that there are some things that certain people will always have to live with. Things like this have happened in my life before, but I never wanted them to happen again...
July
July started off okay. I saw a lot of movies. Transformers, Harry Potter, Ratatouille. Okay that's not a lot but more compared to the amount of moves I watch on a normal basis. There was Emily's July 4th party. And thanks to that I made a new friend. Me and Jackie only knew who we were, then after the party, we talked like hell. The party itself was hella fun. But the part where everyone ganged up on me to throw me into the pool right after I got out was cruel. Never the less, it took 6 people an hour to throw me in. And one of the people were Austin Huo. It took them so long xD Jackie has a recording of the part where I gave up and was thrown into the pool on her cellphone. That was basically the highlight of the day. Oh and I drifted like HELL at the Newpark Parking lot on the Lexus. Oh man that was fun.
Yeah. So how are your guy's summers so far?