A Little Bit Deeper
You know that phrase, "Kick 'em while they're down"? I feel that this is life for me right now. Just when I think that I've got a handle on things, shit happens. I was finally feeling good in my skin. I was finally able to rid myself of that pesky heart on my sleeve. Then "Romeo" walks in. And this "Juliet" state of mine knew better than to fall for this "Romeo". So I just took it for what it was worth thinking that if I go into it with my wall up that things would be fine and I would get what I needed out of it. And I did. And it felt good for about a week. And that kinda scared me.
I made a drunken mistake this week of calling the notorious Paul last week. The only good that came from it was me deleting his number from my phone forever. He denied ever ignoring me and that he really missed me. I called bullshit and then decided to let bygones be bygones. I set up a beer thing for he and I. I called, he ignored, and did not bother to return my call. So there I am, opening myself up for hurt . . .again. I gave him an open wound to salt. I'm so stupid for doing this but so proud that at the same time I was able to accept the fact that he is an asshole who never deserved to call me so mush as an aquaintence. Fuck him!
This is me turning over a new leaf . . . or trying to. I want to be happy and I want to be strong. I want to not make stupid decisions. Here goes nothing!
I made a drunken mistake this week of calling the notorious Paul last week. The only good that came from it was me deleting his number from my phone forever. He denied ever ignoring me and that he really missed me. I called bullshit and then decided to let bygones be bygones. I set up a beer thing for he and I. I called, he ignored, and did not bother to return my call. So there I am, opening myself up for hurt . . .again. I gave him an open wound to salt. I'm so stupid for doing this but so proud that at the same time I was able to accept the fact that he is an asshole who never deserved to call me so mush as an aquaintence. Fuck him!
This is me turning over a new leaf . . . or trying to. I want to be happy and I want to be strong. I want to not make stupid decisions. Here goes nothing!