(no subject)
so my mom painted the office blue, and i'm sitting on the computer with a straight shot to the babymaker out the window to our lovely neighbors. the chair is hard and trying not to trip over the numerous cords that are just waiting for me to knock over the desktop and mercilessly slaughter all of my itunes library.
but.
the only phone jack we have is in the office. and you have to navigate between the white paint, or god forbid, the blue paint, that you can't touch for fear of mutilation. or starvation seeing as i cannot survive if my mom doesn't make dinner. which she won't if i so much as breathe on the paint. the starvation might be worse than mutilation.
but i digress.
*falls into catatonic state thinking of the nhs induction.*
about the phone. seeing as you cannot touch the paint and the phone in on the floor, you have to do a crazy rain-dance, do the flamingo, and get into the lotus position quite like ghandi to answer the phone.
after you successfully complete the lotus (i myself can't get past the flamingo, say ommmmm.) the person on the other end of the line is calling for the eldest male in the household (i tell them it's me.) or it's a tupperware survey. (do your size 5b covers survive microwaving repeatedly? i purposefully choose to not tell them the fact that most of our tupperware is in the arctic recesses of the freezer getting hypothermia or i throw them away in the dining hall on purpose.)
i saw commercials for the charlie brown thanksgiving special last night when i was pretending to study but really watching greys anatomy and not contemplating the causes of the SDI treaties. i always think of the little red-haired girl and why don't the teachers every say anything useful? like don't stick your tongue to a metal pole in january or "no, i won't buy you a bb gun for christmas, you'll shoot your eye out." (i also saw a commercial for the christmas story dvd. can you tell?.)
the thanksgiving special reminded me of turkey, which i saw today lifesize, in all its wrinkly, gobbly gobbler glory. turkeys remind me of someone's great uncle stu who has more wrinkles than the math homework sitting at the bottom of my backpack and informs you that "back in my day, we had to walk to school uphill both ways."
gobble, gobble.
but.
the only phone jack we have is in the office. and you have to navigate between the white paint, or god forbid, the blue paint, that you can't touch for fear of mutilation. or starvation seeing as i cannot survive if my mom doesn't make dinner. which she won't if i so much as breathe on the paint. the starvation might be worse than mutilation.
but i digress.
*falls into catatonic state thinking of the nhs induction.*
about the phone. seeing as you cannot touch the paint and the phone in on the floor, you have to do a crazy rain-dance, do the flamingo, and get into the lotus position quite like ghandi to answer the phone.
after you successfully complete the lotus (i myself can't get past the flamingo, say ommmmm.) the person on the other end of the line is calling for the eldest male in the household (i tell them it's me.) or it's a tupperware survey. (do your size 5b covers survive microwaving repeatedly? i purposefully choose to not tell them the fact that most of our tupperware is in the arctic recesses of the freezer getting hypothermia or i throw them away in the dining hall on purpose.)
i saw commercials for the charlie brown thanksgiving special last night when i was pretending to study but really watching greys anatomy and not contemplating the causes of the SDI treaties. i always think of the little red-haired girl and why don't the teachers every say anything useful? like don't stick your tongue to a metal pole in january or "no, i won't buy you a bb gun for christmas, you'll shoot your eye out." (i also saw a commercial for the christmas story dvd. can you tell?.)
the thanksgiving special reminded me of turkey, which i saw today lifesize, in all its wrinkly, gobbly gobbler glory. turkeys remind me of someone's great uncle stu who has more wrinkles than the math homework sitting at the bottom of my backpack and informs you that "back in my day, we had to walk to school uphill both ways."
gobble, gobble.