(no subject)
Ok, so I'm just pissed off to the point that I'm fighting tears... and I'm at work. i just have to make it an additional 10 minutes...
you know what really sucks, is when you have been fighting to stay afloat over the past 4 years of college; saving as much as possible because you know that you're the one who will pay for everything... books, clothes, tuition, insurance, food... i cannot depend on my mother to be there, or to even help with whatever i MIGHT need... i usually just barely scrape by... i have 2 bills left to pay for this month; i owe one company a million thanks for letting me wait until the 3rd to send out payment, because we've been away and i really didn't make much money over xmas break. so, that's $65 off the top of my paycheck for 2 bills. i should really send an extra 15-20$ to my credit card company.... but i can't. i've been out looking for another job, but so far NADA. i've filled out applications, so hopefully someone comes through.
so, im at the point to where i might have a dollar to my name... i'm struggling... somehow i managed to let it slip to my mother that i'm struggling last thursday. at that point, i had 4$ to my name. i was waiting to send another bill off because i knew i'd be struggling if i sent it before this coming friday... but she assured my that she would send me like 20$ friday via priority mail so i'd have it monday... so, i sent off a payment for 50$, leaving myself with about 1$... and guess what isn't here? and guess who has less than 1/4 tank of gas? and just STRUGGLING. i called her, said it wasn't here and her response? "Oh, we're sending it out tomorrow. So you'll have it thursday." FUCK THURSDAY! WHAT THE FUCK AM I GOING TO DO BETWEEN MONDAY AND THURSDAY? ESPECIALLY SINCE I WAS FUCKING COUNTING ON IT!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!
you see, i've done the past 4 years ON MY OWN. other people have parents who "don't send them money," but make sure they have loans to cover tuition, or make sure tuition is done, whatever. books are paid for. i wish. man, that would have been awesome. but, no, instead i have this fucking idiot for a mother who is lucky she can wipe her own ass.
I'm ranting, raving. I'm going to call her back and inquire as to why the money was not send last friday like FUCKING PROMISED. but, i don't want to use words and phrases like "FUCKING PROMISED." and let me tell you, the all caps thing? yeah, that's how it's going through my head, and that's how hard i'm pounding the keys.
no pity, though. im done.
you know what really sucks, is when you have been fighting to stay afloat over the past 4 years of college; saving as much as possible because you know that you're the one who will pay for everything... books, clothes, tuition, insurance, food... i cannot depend on my mother to be there, or to even help with whatever i MIGHT need... i usually just barely scrape by... i have 2 bills left to pay for this month; i owe one company a million thanks for letting me wait until the 3rd to send out payment, because we've been away and i really didn't make much money over xmas break. so, that's $65 off the top of my paycheck for 2 bills. i should really send an extra 15-20$ to my credit card company.... but i can't. i've been out looking for another job, but so far NADA. i've filled out applications, so hopefully someone comes through.
so, im at the point to where i might have a dollar to my name... i'm struggling... somehow i managed to let it slip to my mother that i'm struggling last thursday. at that point, i had 4$ to my name. i was waiting to send another bill off because i knew i'd be struggling if i sent it before this coming friday... but she assured my that she would send me like 20$ friday via priority mail so i'd have it monday... so, i sent off a payment for 50$, leaving myself with about 1$... and guess what isn't here? and guess who has less than 1/4 tank of gas? and just STRUGGLING. i called her, said it wasn't here and her response? "Oh, we're sending it out tomorrow. So you'll have it thursday." FUCK THURSDAY! WHAT THE FUCK AM I GOING TO DO BETWEEN MONDAY AND THURSDAY? ESPECIALLY SINCE I WAS FUCKING COUNTING ON IT!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!
you see, i've done the past 4 years ON MY OWN. other people have parents who "don't send them money," but make sure they have loans to cover tuition, or make sure tuition is done, whatever. books are paid for. i wish. man, that would have been awesome. but, no, instead i have this fucking idiot for a mother who is lucky she can wipe her own ass.
I'm ranting, raving. I'm going to call her back and inquire as to why the money was not send last friday like FUCKING PROMISED. but, i don't want to use words and phrases like "FUCKING PROMISED." and let me tell you, the all caps thing? yeah, that's how it's going through my head, and that's how hard i'm pounding the keys.
no pity, though. im done.