Just January Thoughts
I closed the café at 5:00pm as usual today. Came upstairs, to what was the church, and simply sat down. Not something I do often. Coffee in hand, sitting at what was once the altar, the beautiful stain glass windows of the Saints and all the Stations of The Cross before me, and the only word that came to my mind was 'BLESSED'! How very blessed I am to have this building....how very blessed this building is.....how very blessed my family is and I am by having my family! Grand baby number 7 will be born via c-sect tomorrow at noon. Maybe that's the reason for the contemplative mood, I don't know.
This spring marks the 10th anniversary of my flower shop....what an incredible journey that has been. How far Kristin and I have come with the shop. It's amazing actually!
I think about all the things that I've gone through in my life and I think, 'What is my purpose?' What am I supposed to be doing for the greater honor and glory of God? Why am I where I am in my life right now? While things are no different in my marriage....that's not true, it's actually a bit worse then years past....things are a bit worse with addict son as well, everything else is perfect. Almost a scary perfect in some ways. But where to go and what to do from here? Just keep on keeping on? Change what I can and let the rest just happen? I'm not really a 'just let things happen' kind of person. I feel like this place needs to be used for some kind of purpose that I've needed in my life. Like nar-anon meetings. Maybe a grieving mom's group....things like that....and yet, I'm only one person, I can't do all those meetings and such. My life schedule is quite full. Guess I need to keep praying about it.
My 18 year old daughter is dating someone 9 years older. Scary....yet I like him....he may be what is perfect for her. One of the things I see with them is a love that I know, without a doubt, that I have never felt. I watch them together....I see fun, yet seriousness when needed. I see warmth between them but not immature lusting over each other. I truly see that which I've always wanted to feel, yet never have. My warning to them is to be careful of the age difference when it comes to maturity levels and experiences in life. Who knows where this will go.....time will tell.
Boys!! Now there's a subject!! Jacob, at 14, still acts like 10 sometimes...and other times like 21. I hope he gets over this puberty stage fast. And they say girls are moody!! HA...the girls were never this bad! Such is life. Someday all the kids will be out of the house. :) then I'll probably bitch about that too!
Enough random January thoughts!
This spring marks the 10th anniversary of my flower shop....what an incredible journey that has been. How far Kristin and I have come with the shop. It's amazing actually!
I think about all the things that I've gone through in my life and I think, 'What is my purpose?' What am I supposed to be doing for the greater honor and glory of God? Why am I where I am in my life right now? While things are no different in my marriage....that's not true, it's actually a bit worse then years past....things are a bit worse with addict son as well, everything else is perfect. Almost a scary perfect in some ways. But where to go and what to do from here? Just keep on keeping on? Change what I can and let the rest just happen? I'm not really a 'just let things happen' kind of person. I feel like this place needs to be used for some kind of purpose that I've needed in my life. Like nar-anon meetings. Maybe a grieving mom's group....things like that....and yet, I'm only one person, I can't do all those meetings and such. My life schedule is quite full. Guess I need to keep praying about it.
My 18 year old daughter is dating someone 9 years older. Scary....yet I like him....he may be what is perfect for her. One of the things I see with them is a love that I know, without a doubt, that I have never felt. I watch them together....I see fun, yet seriousness when needed. I see warmth between them but not immature lusting over each other. I truly see that which I've always wanted to feel, yet never have. My warning to them is to be careful of the age difference when it comes to maturity levels and experiences in life. Who knows where this will go.....time will tell.
Boys!! Now there's a subject!! Jacob, at 14, still acts like 10 sometimes...and other times like 21. I hope he gets over this puberty stage fast. And they say girls are moody!! HA...the girls were never this bad! Such is life. Someday all the kids will be out of the house. :) then I'll probably bitch about that too!
Enough random January thoughts!