Love, Hate and Feminism vs. Misogyny

[kimberly_t]

After due consideration, I am convinced that the two most overused, misused and abused words in the entire English language are: Love and Hate.

Comments

[sandrusevich]

Well, damn. I spent about an hour reading through all that, and all of it totally confused me. I don't know anything about any of this; I know nothing about feminism or feminists, and it was just... yeow.

Funny, I tend not to think about men all that much. I do know they make me nervous, and I'm sketchy around them, and I don't trust them much (if at all) due to bad history with them. And to be honest, this is probably my first real encounter with this sort of arguement; I've always been aware of the stuff men do, and I knew of feminists, but I never really looked into it, if you catch my drift.

Still not sure what to think about all this.

Of course, I am sure of what I feel - one of the reasons I DON'T go out and party at bars, or really even go out at all, is because I'm afraid that a man (or men, plural) will start making comments or accost me. I've been cat-called numerous times (and for the life of me I can't figure out why... I don't find myself attractive at all so I tend to think that when men see tits, they go "OoooooOOOOOOOOOoooooh!") and as much as I do tend to find it kind of funny, it's also pretty insulting.

However, I do very much enjoy giving them the finger as they drive past, after said cat-call... and, sometimes, yelling something rude and filthy in their general direction as they speed away. (I always also hope that they hear me, too... I guess I just like having the last word. :P)

Bah. I don't even know. It's all new to me, and I'm kinda floating about, trying to figure things out in such a way as to jive with my normal thought process.

Of course... that doesn't change the fact that I dislike being stuck in a room with a strange man (or men) without a friend, or at least someone I know. Because something about them (probably this is based on a past experience) scares the bloody crap out of me.

Although, (and I'm rambling now) I don't mind being stuck in a room full of gay men. Truth be told, I prefer homosexual men to heterosexual men. Maybe it's because I'm pretty sure they won't try and get in my pants. Perhaps it's because I just connect better with them because, in my mind, they are more like women who just happen to have penises (and it doesn't matter how "feminine" or "manly" these gay men are. I just get on better with them.). Which is kind of weird to really think about, but, eh. XD

You're right on the language bit, though. Hate is a very powerful word. We should probably make more use of the dictionary and the words available for our perusal and usage. I mean, we do have all these words available - why aren't we using them? It seems like, while we are making language a bit softer (softening painful ways of describing things, like "old people" = "senior citizens" and "blind/deaf" = "visually/hearing impaired") we are also flattening it and losing the more accuracte ways to describe things as they really are.

... Uh, yeah. Okay. Rambling over. o.o

[kimberly_t]

Rambling is welcome here; it's another version of "babbling" :)

When it's all boiled down, Feminism is simply saying "Women are People Too!" and demanding that men recognize that fact; that they treat us--women as a group, the other half of the human race--as equals, not as servants or sex objects.

There are dozens of issues that arise from that basic struggle, but if the misogyny is ever really weeded out of our culture, most of those issues--the rape culture, prostitution, the supermom syndrome, etc.--would be sorted out in the process.

It's not surprising that many women prefer the company of homosexual men to heterosexual men, for the same reason you just gave: because I'm pretty sure they won't try and get in my pants. There are just so damn many heterosexual men who have been conditioned by their upbringing and our culture to think that's what women are for; that woman's only purpose is to serve men's needs, particularly their sexual needs (though also to take care of the brats they spawn in their pursuit of pleasure.)

But if sexual interest isn't an issue, what's left? Why, look, it's another person to have conversation with. Precisely because they don't--can't--see us as sexually attractive, gay men are usually the first of their gender to recognize that we are indeed people too.

[candika]

You're by nop means alone in feeling as you do. Many women have had similar experiences. There are a great many feminist groups on LJ if you feel like joining in our discussions. [info]feminist is a good place to start.