Smalls
A woman’s briefs must be ship-shape and clean as a whistle. In the event of her being run over by a bus, her nethers will be closely scrutinised. The paramedic mustn’t be faced with an unkempt gusset.
The burden of wearing perpetually clean knickers can be relieved by taking pants entirely out of the equation. This is called "going commando" as it's big at Sandhurst. Going commando allows the whatsits to breathe. The 1992 film Basic Instinct, which I haven't seen, famously showcases the commando look. Sharon Stone's in an office getting interviewed by this bloke. She's smoking like a chimney like they used to back then God I bet she stank. Mid-sentence, Sharon uncrosses her legs and gives the interviewer an eyeful of unclad muff. She starts on Monday.
The oppostite of no pants is big pants, like Spanx. Spanx are the modern equivalent of a girdle slash pelvic straight-jacket. Spanx suck in one’s wobbles and inhibit fatness, as well as the natural digestive process. Female celebrities like a Spank, which is why Renee Zellweger’s always got a face like death.
The thong is a very particular type of pant, also known as the g-string. Essentially, the thong is a web of powerful elastic, grasping a scrap of fabric in place ‘tween Missy’s thighs. Some thong wearers like to bend down and get the elastic riding up over their buttocks and belt buckle six inches from your face and putting you right off your pint. Other thong wearers combine the elastic ride-up with the label stick-out. This is popular in Walsall.
The burden of wearing perpetually clean knickers can be relieved by taking pants entirely out of the equation. This is called "going commando" as it's big at Sandhurst. Going commando allows the whatsits to breathe. The 1992 film Basic Instinct, which I haven't seen, famously showcases the commando look. Sharon Stone's in an office getting interviewed by this bloke. She's smoking like a chimney like they used to back then God I bet she stank. Mid-sentence, Sharon uncrosses her legs and gives the interviewer an eyeful of unclad muff. She starts on Monday.
The oppostite of no pants is big pants, like Spanx. Spanx are the modern equivalent of a girdle slash pelvic straight-jacket. Spanx suck in one’s wobbles and inhibit fatness, as well as the natural digestive process. Female celebrities like a Spank, which is why Renee Zellweger’s always got a face like death.
The thong is a very particular type of pant, also known as the g-string. Essentially, the thong is a web of powerful elastic, grasping a scrap of fabric in place ‘tween Missy’s thighs. Some thong wearers like to bend down and get the elastic riding up over their buttocks and belt buckle six inches from your face and putting you right off your pint. Other thong wearers combine the elastic ride-up with the label stick-out. This is popular in Walsall.