(no subject)
Talk about a time you overcame serious self-doubt.
I thought I was pretty screwed a few years back when I got kidnapped. As much fight as I thought I had in me, I didn't. Especially when I was alone with Janet. I thought I was strong; that I could survive against everything. Come face to face with danger and be unharmed. How arrogant. I hate to admit it, and I'll never tell my Dad but --- I wanted to give up at one point.
It was my own fault. Pretending to be independent. Sneaking out of the house, thinking I knew what was right for me and no one else. I doubted my judgment. It was blocked by immaturity. Things didn't start to get bad until they were irreparable and escape wasn't an option. I still get chills just thinking about it. The disgusting scenario that still gives me nightmares.
It was after I talked to my Mom. They called her, forced me to talk to her and tell her everything was all right. But I knew she could hear the terror in my voice. It was impossible to disguise. Her help inches from my grasp but the fear was to strong, I caved and told her I loved her.
They snatched the phone and her voice became distance, but the warmth in her tone still strong in my mind. The panic and stress in her voice made everything around me real. Almost to real --- like would I ever get out of this real? I lost all my strength in that one moment. I gave up and didn't think I could get out of it. I basically curled up in the van and cried. --- Until I heard Janet. She was in so much pain. The bastard that claimed to like her no less than an hour ago broke her arm. Flesh torn exposing bone and tendons around several gashes. She needed me -- and that's when I knew I couldn't fall apart. There was still hope; and if it wasn't for my best friend to divert my attention I might not have made it through that night.
Things only got worse after that but the one thing that helped me through it was my family. Thinking of them, knowing exactly what they'd say to me. Don't give up. We're coming for you. And that's exactly what happened. It's so hard to listen to the voice of reason when things are crumbling around you.
Muse: Kimberly Bauer
Fandom: 24
Words: 407