(no subject)
It's so weird... I was walking over the bridge to work this morning when it occurred to me that I'm in charge of my life. I mean, yes, of course I'm in charge of my life: I'm 29 years old, I work full-time, I own my own car, I am in graduate school... so then why is this just occurring to me?
I think I was letting other people, namely my mom, dictate what I was supposed to be doing, etc. WAAAAY too much and it never really phased me until now that it's not happening anymore. Steve's not trying to tell me what to do or whatever all the time. If he asks me if we're having dinner or if I'm hungry and I say, "I'll make you something, but I'm not hungry" he doesn't ask me why and then suggest I eat something small every 20 minutes for the next two hours. Last night his stomach was still acting up, so I made some chicken and rice and ate some, then later he had a few bites and that was it. I hope that once we're both back to regular work schedules (he's still off work), we'll eat together a bit more often and stuff, but I'm assuming that when the schedules are more matched it will naturally start to happen.
It didn't use to be this way. I think when I got so sick and could do nothing for myself for awhile (in early 2003, long story), I learned that I had to rely on people and sorta let her, and a few others, call the shots. The big problem came when I didn't stop letting them be in charge once I was back to full speed and all that jazz.
Anyway, this by no means was meant to be philosophical, etc. because I have other opinions about whose in charge overall in this world, etc., but I'm just kinda referring to the day-to-day operations of my life. I am also drinking a Jamba Juice right now as it occurred to me that there is one RIGHT near my house now. Heh. I think that's much better for me than coffee and it's cheaper because with coffee you feel compelled to eat some sort of bad-for-you baked good or something. We need to seriously go to the store. We have almost no food in the house. We actually never did the big, stock your kitchen type trip, so this weekend we're going to go and buy the sugar, flour, etc. as well as some stuff to put in the pantry and freezer so we're not always eating weird crap for dinner or eating out so much.
I think I was letting other people, namely my mom, dictate what I was supposed to be doing, etc. WAAAAY too much and it never really phased me until now that it's not happening anymore. Steve's not trying to tell me what to do or whatever all the time. If he asks me if we're having dinner or if I'm hungry and I say, "I'll make you something, but I'm not hungry" he doesn't ask me why and then suggest I eat something small every 20 minutes for the next two hours. Last night his stomach was still acting up, so I made some chicken and rice and ate some, then later he had a few bites and that was it. I hope that once we're both back to regular work schedules (he's still off work), we'll eat together a bit more often and stuff, but I'm assuming that when the schedules are more matched it will naturally start to happen.
It didn't use to be this way. I think when I got so sick and could do nothing for myself for awhile (in early 2003, long story), I learned that I had to rely on people and sorta let her, and a few others, call the shots. The big problem came when I didn't stop letting them be in charge once I was back to full speed and all that jazz.
Anyway, this by no means was meant to be philosophical, etc. because I have other opinions about whose in charge overall in this world, etc., but I'm just kinda referring to the day-to-day operations of my life. I am also drinking a Jamba Juice right now as it occurred to me that there is one RIGHT near my house now. Heh. I think that's much better for me than coffee and it's cheaper because with coffee you feel compelled to eat some sort of bad-for-you baked good or something. We need to seriously go to the store. We have almost no food in the house. We actually never did the big, stock your kitchen type trip, so this weekend we're going to go and buy the sugar, flour, etc. as well as some stuff to put in the pantry and freezer so we're not always eating weird crap for dinner or eating out so much.