Books I've Read...and Stopped
I'm still trying to read 50 Books in 2007 and am a bit behind in posting about them. Part of the problem is that I'm mostly listening to books (on CD) during my commute and not actually reading them. I'll spare you the neurotic details about why I think I need to have a physical copy of the book with me before I post a review. The other part of problem is that too many of the CDs I'm listening to are terrible and I can't get through them. However, I've read/listened to enough to count as at least one book (if not two), so I give you:
Stuff I Tried to Read but Couldn't Get Through, also known as Book 8
8.1 The Expected One by Kathleen McGowan.
This book seemed promising - Mary Magdalene left behind her own account of the life of Christ which would constitute a fifth gospel. The trick is finding it before those who will destroy it, get there first. Plus, I think it can only be found by "the expected one." Kind of a female take on Indiana Jones, yes? I had high hopes. Well, all I remember from this book is perfect little Mary Sue (whose real name I don't remember) appears to be the actual reincarnation of Mary Magdalene. She is other worldly beautiful, our Mary Sue, with her flaming red hair and queenly carriage. Everyone can see she is something wonderous, even if they don't know about her dreams of the Passion. Ah, she has always been special, our Mary Sue. Even her Irish cousin whose family she went to live with when her parents were mysteriously killed can see Mary Sue is mostspecialperfect. The other Irish kids didn't like Mary Sue at first but she won them over through the force of her personality.
That was as far as I got.
8.2 A Dirty Job by Christopher Moore
I love Christopher Moore. He is wackily brilliant and his books make me laugh at the same time they make me think. Unfortunately, this particular novel set off a flailing attack that I just couldn't get past. See...the main character seems to have become the Angel of Death. I'm not sure how (didn't read that far) but I think you catch the death kind of the way you catch a cold (which is a bit disconcerting). The former Angel of Death sends a book that explains everything to our new Angel but, it goes to his antique store where, despite not being addressed to her, it is opened by his Shop Girl. queue mini-flail. Privacy violating Shop Girl reads the title (something like "So You're Death, Now What?") thinks it's cool and decides to keep it. enter fullfledged flailing. OMG. You do not read other people's mail and you do not steal their stuff. Plus, the fact that the entire rest of the book seemed to be set up based on this misunderstanding reminded me too much of an episode of Three's Company.
8.3 The Quality of Life Report by Meghan Daum
Lucinda Trout leaves her TV morning show job in NYC to move to someplace in Nebraska, basically because her rent gets raised. She convinces her TV show boss to let her file a series of TV segments from her new midwest town, dubbed "Quality of Life Reports," intended to demonstrate that wholesome, smalltown life still exists. She moves to the heartland, rents a huge charming house, and is happy. For about a day and a half. Then, things begin to unravel. I'll spare you the maudlin details but basically she becomes romantically involved with the unabomber. Well, he isn't really the unabomber but he could be -- he owns two pairs of shoes (flip flops and mocassins he made himself), has three kids by three different women (which she seems to wind up taking care of), a teepee house with no plumbing (no kidding) and no car. Way to move out of NYC and find the biggest loser in the world, Lucinda. When the book's narrative switched to things like "I should have left him then before we ripped each other up past the point either of us believed we could" and I was all "You mean this gets worse?" Ugh.
8.4 Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell by Susanna Clark
I think this book suffered from my listening to it versus reading it. It's basically about English magic in the age of Napoleon and why practical magic left England. ...or did it? Our mysterious Mr Norrell is a Yorkshire practical magician who moves from the countryside to assert his influence on London politics and government. Or something. It was hard to follow. Susanna Clark created an entire world for her characters, complete with books they reference and footnotes from the fake reference book inserted into the narrative. Yeah, you try to follow that when you're driving in traffic. I was all "huh?"
8.5 The World According to Garp by John Irving
I know, I know. This is everyone's favorite book. I so expected to love this book. John Irving is an amazing writer and A Prayer for Owen Meany is one of the best books I've ever read. I really don't know what to tell you... I just didn't like Garp and I didn't like his mother and I didn't like his wife and I didn't like his smug comments about his mother's writing/lifestyle and I didn't like their whole weird world. What mother and son go on senior trip together? To Vienna Austria? And both write? I hated the story-within-a-story about the circus people in Vienna and felt abnormally sorry for the bear. *shakes head* I waited for the Garp love to kick in but it never did. It was best to end it there. Oh Garp, it's not you, it's me (except it's you).
Stuff I Tried to Read but Couldn't Get Through, also known as Book 8
8.1 The Expected One by Kathleen McGowan.
This book seemed promising - Mary Magdalene left behind her own account of the life of Christ which would constitute a fifth gospel. The trick is finding it before those who will destroy it, get there first. Plus, I think it can only be found by "the expected one." Kind of a female take on Indiana Jones, yes? I had high hopes. Well, all I remember from this book is perfect little Mary Sue (whose real name I don't remember) appears to be the actual reincarnation of Mary Magdalene. She is other worldly beautiful, our Mary Sue, with her flaming red hair and queenly carriage. Everyone can see she is something wonderous, even if they don't know about her dreams of the Passion. Ah, she has always been special, our Mary Sue. Even her Irish cousin whose family she went to live with when her parents were mysteriously killed can see Mary Sue is mostspecialperfect. The other Irish kids didn't like Mary Sue at first but she won them over through the force of her personality.
That was as far as I got.
8.2 A Dirty Job by Christopher Moore
I love Christopher Moore. He is wackily brilliant and his books make me laugh at the same time they make me think. Unfortunately, this particular novel set off a flailing attack that I just couldn't get past. See...the main character seems to have become the Angel of Death. I'm not sure how (didn't read that far) but I think you catch the death kind of the way you catch a cold (which is a bit disconcerting). The former Angel of Death sends a book that explains everything to our new Angel but, it goes to his antique store where, despite not being addressed to her, it is opened by his Shop Girl. queue mini-flail. Privacy violating Shop Girl reads the title (something like "So You're Death, Now What?") thinks it's cool and decides to keep it. enter fullfledged flailing. OMG. You do not read other people's mail and you do not steal their stuff. Plus, the fact that the entire rest of the book seemed to be set up based on this misunderstanding reminded me too much of an episode of Three's Company.
8.3 The Quality of Life Report by Meghan Daum
Lucinda Trout leaves her TV morning show job in NYC to move to someplace in Nebraska, basically because her rent gets raised. She convinces her TV show boss to let her file a series of TV segments from her new midwest town, dubbed "Quality of Life Reports," intended to demonstrate that wholesome, smalltown life still exists. She moves to the heartland, rents a huge charming house, and is happy. For about a day and a half. Then, things begin to unravel. I'll spare you the maudlin details but basically she becomes romantically involved with the unabomber. Well, he isn't really the unabomber but he could be -- he owns two pairs of shoes (flip flops and mocassins he made himself), has three kids by three different women (which she seems to wind up taking care of), a teepee house with no plumbing (no kidding) and no car. Way to move out of NYC and find the biggest loser in the world, Lucinda. When the book's narrative switched to things like "I should have left him then before we ripped each other up past the point either of us believed we could" and I was all "You mean this gets worse?" Ugh.
8.4 Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell by Susanna Clark
I think this book suffered from my listening to it versus reading it. It's basically about English magic in the age of Napoleon and why practical magic left England. ...or did it? Our mysterious Mr Norrell is a Yorkshire practical magician who moves from the countryside to assert his influence on London politics and government. Or something. It was hard to follow. Susanna Clark created an entire world for her characters, complete with books they reference and footnotes from the fake reference book inserted into the narrative. Yeah, you try to follow that when you're driving in traffic. I was all "huh?"
8.5 The World According to Garp by John Irving
I know, I know. This is everyone's favorite book. I so expected to love this book. John Irving is an amazing writer and A Prayer for Owen Meany is one of the best books I've ever read. I really don't know what to tell you... I just didn't like Garp and I didn't like his mother and I didn't like his wife and I didn't like his smug comments about his mother's writing/lifestyle and I didn't like their whole weird world. What mother and son go on senior trip together? To Vienna Austria? And both write? I hated the story-within-a-story about the circus people in Vienna and felt abnormally sorry for the bear. *shakes head* I waited for the Garp love to kick in but it never did. It was best to end it there. Oh Garp, it's not you, it's me (except it's you).