Spillin' out my heart...
Ok..so I don't think I've ever written a really long update since I got this journal..so here goes...
Caution: This is a very emo post from my heart. Don't hate.
I used to think when I was a little girl that I'd grow up and fall in love with some Prince Charming, who'd care for my every needs, whether it's that I was down about something, or that I stumped my toe. I used to think that I would be the heartbreaker, and no one would ever be able to break mine, it's like I thought I had this uncontrollable power over people, almost like shields, and no one would ever be able to get through them. Well, all that I used to dream is bullshit. That's not reality at all, and I've learned that as the years go by and I get older.
You think that when you finally meet someone who's so caring, so gracious, just..perfect for you, you're gonna live happily ever after, and anything that goes wrong in your life, you're gonna have that person to run to with open arms, knowing they'll make everything right again. It just doesn't work that way. It's like you give and give all that you have, and they take it from you, throw it on the ground, and shit all over it. I've had my heart broken...I can't even count how many times, but the key to the heartbreak is, you learn from it, and you grow from it.
I've moved on from previous heartbreaks, and moved on to possible options that could turn into a really great thing, but I'm so terrified that if I get my heart broken one more time, it'll turn black and fall to ashes. I don't want that to happen, I don't think I could deal with it, physically or mentally. I want to say I'm strong enough, but I know I'm not. I'm pulled between feelings right now, and my head is about to explode. I'm not sure what will happen in the future, all I know is whatever happens on my part, is because I went with the last bit of heart I had. I just don't want anything to fail again...
Caution: This is a very emo post from my heart. Don't hate.
I used to think when I was a little girl that I'd grow up and fall in love with some Prince Charming, who'd care for my every needs, whether it's that I was down about something, or that I stumped my toe. I used to think that I would be the heartbreaker, and no one would ever be able to break mine, it's like I thought I had this uncontrollable power over people, almost like shields, and no one would ever be able to get through them. Well, all that I used to dream is bullshit. That's not reality at all, and I've learned that as the years go by and I get older.
You think that when you finally meet someone who's so caring, so gracious, just..perfect for you, you're gonna live happily ever after, and anything that goes wrong in your life, you're gonna have that person to run to with open arms, knowing they'll make everything right again. It just doesn't work that way. It's like you give and give all that you have, and they take it from you, throw it on the ground, and shit all over it. I've had my heart broken...I can't even count how many times, but the key to the heartbreak is, you learn from it, and you grow from it.
I've moved on from previous heartbreaks, and moved on to possible options that could turn into a really great thing, but I'm so terrified that if I get my heart broken one more time, it'll turn black and fall to ashes. I don't want that to happen, I don't think I could deal with it, physically or mentally. I want to say I'm strong enough, but I know I'm not. I'm pulled between feelings right now, and my head is about to explode. I'm not sure what will happen in the future, all I know is whatever happens on my part, is because I went with the last bit of heart I had. I just don't want anything to fail again...