State of the Kim Address
Hello, LJlanders. I miss the big big white update box and it's unlimited character limit sometimes. This is one of those times (or is it?).
Last time I checked in, I was buying a house and getting ready for the NaNo of my life. I failed big time at both of those things just FYI.
I signed the realtor's papers, went home, had a panic attack, called the realtor, and told her to tear up the papers. This is actually a good thing believe it or not. Not the panic attack, but not getting the house. Firstly because I couldn't get insurance on it because it needed all new wiring. Secondly because the asking price was too high once I looked into it. There's a thirdly, but I'm going chronologically here so bear with me.
Since I didn't get the house and didn't think I was going to any longer, I got a new furnace. It's a lovely furnace that cost more money than I had and it didn't work right the first month and a half I had it making my energy usage Skyrocket (it's capitalized not because it's a proper noun [it isn't], but because it past the space shuttle on its way up), but now that it's fixed it's working great and the usage is normal. This okay for now because I'm on budget and I have a few more months before I have to make up the difference.
I also got Morticia the day before Halloween. Morticia is my new 2007 PT Cruiser. She is ghostly white and has no cruise control nor trunk space, but she also is in perfect working order with new tires that have been quite nice on all the snow we've been having lately. I traded Lola in which really makes me sad even now three months later. She was a good car and I wanted to keep her for Mike, but since I'm going chronologically I'll tell you later why it's okay I didn't keep her for Mike.
I started NaNo with gusto then my "to" ran out of "gus" and I tanked. November was stress filled (which I'm going to let me finish, but December had the best stress in the world) and adding NaNo on top of the already dramatic drama-filled drama was too much. I did however make a valiant last minute push (chronicled on Twitter for those who tweet) and wrote 9,268 on November 29 and 14,980 on November 30, but I only got to 39,245. It was supposed to be a Young Adult, but to get that many words so quickly, I had to resort to porn and an in-depth analyzation of the lyrics of American Pie. I could have done it I think, but I just couldn't type fast enough. The fact that I can write over 24,000 words in 2 days proves I'm capable of 50,000 in less than 30, but it wasn't meant to be.
Why was November so bad and how did I have time to write nearly 15,000 words on Monday, November 30 when I should have been working? Well because I don't work on Mondays anymore. I still have a job, but everyone in the company has been reduced to 4 days a week as of Thanksgiving weekend. Happy Thanksgiving, live on $500 less a month. Thanks. See why it was a good thing I didn't get the house? I wouldn't have been able to make even the first mortgage payment. My mental illness has saved my bacon once again. Now if it could only fry it up in a pan and never ever let you forget you're a man. (Are you old enough to remember that commercial?)
December was December with not enough money and not enough time and not enough ideas for Christmas shopping. Mike and I got each other Season 2 of Bones because we're both awesome like that. He took his back and got me Season 3 and there was much rejoicing. I just have to say ZOMG Zack?!?!? Did not see that coming which is why Bones is Brilliant covered in Awesomesauce with a side of Hellyeah au gratin. I haven't seen much of anything after season 3 so don't spoil me (odd coming from me, isn't it?). I got Jake a pink Snuggie for getting me a Stepbrothers DVD last year (which I haven't seen nor have any desire to see). I was going to get him a drum set after Christmas, but other stuff (like car and student loan payments) keep pushing it off. Plus there's that whole don't have anyplace to put it thing. I also got him a bunch of music related paraphernalia and the first season of The Office which he's recently become addicted to. Jim bought Jake clothes and shoes for the first time ever in Jake's entire fourteen years of life and got Mike a second hand Acer laptop. Since I just bought Mike a fully loaded Dell desktop in March he really needed another computer. I got Mike all the accessories he needed to actually make use of the laptop and a computer game he's been wanting.
My Christmas bonus this year was a little underwhelming, but at least I got one. I used it for a Garmon GPS because I travel so much. Oh wait I never go anywhere besides home and Walmart. I got one because I love gadgets that talk to me. It's like having a friend to argue with about directions with me all the time. I got one for Mike too. Why?
Well because Jim got Mike a 2000 Ford Explorer and Mike inherited his father's sense of direction. Jim used to get lost walking from the bedroom to the bathroom and they were connected to each other. It's white, covered in rust, and was seized in a drug bust. Evidently the former owner was an illegal immigrant using it to ferry drugs from Mexico to Canada so mega high mileage. Still, I didn't have to pay for it and it's insured under Jim's policy. I am charged with keeping gas in it and having everything wrong with it fixed. I don't mind because it means I never have to go to the grocery store again. Woo!Hoo!
Before you all go praising Jim's sudden buy useful things for the kids mode, I'd like to remind you I'm updating chronologically even if I cannot consistently remember how to spell such a long word. He's decided that since he bought Jake a pair of shoes and Mike a computer and a truck, he's fulfilled his obligations as a parent. They transferred him at work and since he hates his new job he's not going to go anymore. He wants to go back to school. Paying to support children for ten years is long enough, right? What does he want to go back to school for? "Mmmeh, I don't know. Something. I just hate my job."
He hasn't quit yet, but I expect every payment I get to be the last just to keep from getting in trouble. With work and King Dickhead of Deadbeat I'm down over $1,000 a month. I'm trying to tough it out until work gets back to normal, but I may be looking for a second job soon. I'm not going to sweat it yet. God wouldn't have made mac and cheese so damn good if he didn't mean for us to live on it. Seriously though, we're fine for now. I had some money in an emergency savings account for the first time in my life. This is obviously what I get for planning ahead. Won't make that mistake again!
That brings us to now. I should be working on W2s, but I'm messing around with Zoo World on Facebook. Boredom drove me to do terribly terribly wrong wrong things there. Behold:
My blue ball(lantern)ed anaconda has genital warthogs. *snickers*
So yeah, the end of 2009 and the beginning of 2010 has really sucked anaconda lanterns, but I've decided to laugh about it instead of cry. It'll turn around.
I'm currently weighing my options and trying to convince myself that maybe my second job should be writing related - either freelance to blogs or magazines or finishing one of my WIPs. What's great about NaNo is that there's a deadline. You have X days to finish so no putting stuff off until you're in the mood.
I'm considering doing some revisions on my 2007 NaNo (now available for Kindle) and sending it to an actual publisher. I need someone to go through it for me, mark the typos, and point out where it's confusing or not developed enough. Free copy (PDF or paperback) to anyone willing to take up the task. I have another book half written that I sent a PDF to someone for just that kind of feedback, but she never got back to me. I'm afraid to ask because I think it's because she doesn't want to hurt my feelings. I need some brutal honesty otherwise I'll never move forward. I can't afford the thousands professionals demand so help a chick out?
Man that's one hefty bit of ramble. I didn't even talk about Big Fat Al and Zoe McBitchypaws. Have to save that for another day as the boss has just arrived.
*sings in Kermit voice* I'm going to come back here one day *cue banjo strumming*
Later :)
*Edit: had to make this friends only because I added a link to the whole book in a comment*
Last time I checked in, I was buying a house and getting ready for the NaNo of my life. I failed big time at both of those things just FYI.
I signed the realtor's papers, went home, had a panic attack, called the realtor, and told her to tear up the papers. This is actually a good thing believe it or not. Not the panic attack, but not getting the house. Firstly because I couldn't get insurance on it because it needed all new wiring. Secondly because the asking price was too high once I looked into it. There's a thirdly, but I'm going chronologically here so bear with me.
Since I didn't get the house and didn't think I was going to any longer, I got a new furnace. It's a lovely furnace that cost more money than I had and it didn't work right the first month and a half I had it making my energy usage Skyrocket (it's capitalized not because it's a proper noun [it isn't], but because it past the space shuttle on its way up), but now that it's fixed it's working great and the usage is normal. This okay for now because I'm on budget and I have a few more months before I have to make up the difference.
I also got Morticia the day before Halloween. Morticia is my new 2007 PT Cruiser. She is ghostly white and has no cruise control nor trunk space, but she also is in perfect working order with new tires that have been quite nice on all the snow we've been having lately. I traded Lola in which really makes me sad even now three months later. She was a good car and I wanted to keep her for Mike, but since I'm going chronologically I'll tell you later why it's okay I didn't keep her for Mike.
I started NaNo with gusto then my "to" ran out of "gus" and I tanked. November was stress filled (which I'm going to let me finish, but December had the best stress in the world) and adding NaNo on top of the already dramatic drama-filled drama was too much. I did however make a valiant last minute push (chronicled on Twitter for those who tweet) and wrote 9,268 on November 29 and 14,980 on November 30, but I only got to 39,245. It was supposed to be a Young Adult, but to get that many words so quickly, I had to resort to porn and an in-depth analyzation of the lyrics of American Pie. I could have done it I think, but I just couldn't type fast enough. The fact that I can write over 24,000 words in 2 days proves I'm capable of 50,000 in less than 30, but it wasn't meant to be.
Why was November so bad and how did I have time to write nearly 15,000 words on Monday, November 30 when I should have been working? Well because I don't work on Mondays anymore. I still have a job, but everyone in the company has been reduced to 4 days a week as of Thanksgiving weekend. Happy Thanksgiving, live on $500 less a month. Thanks. See why it was a good thing I didn't get the house? I wouldn't have been able to make even the first mortgage payment. My mental illness has saved my bacon once again. Now if it could only fry it up in a pan and never ever let you forget you're a man. (Are you old enough to remember that commercial?)
December was December with not enough money and not enough time and not enough ideas for Christmas shopping. Mike and I got each other Season 2 of Bones because we're both awesome like that. He took his back and got me Season 3 and there was much rejoicing. I just have to say ZOMG Zack?!?!? Did not see that coming which is why Bones is Brilliant covered in Awesomesauce with a side of Hellyeah au gratin. I haven't seen much of anything after season 3 so don't spoil me (odd coming from me, isn't it?). I got Jake a pink Snuggie for getting me a Stepbrothers DVD last year (which I haven't seen nor have any desire to see). I was going to get him a drum set after Christmas, but other stuff (like car and student loan payments) keep pushing it off. Plus there's that whole don't have anyplace to put it thing. I also got him a bunch of music related paraphernalia and the first season of The Office which he's recently become addicted to. Jim bought Jake clothes and shoes for the first time ever in Jake's entire fourteen years of life and got Mike a second hand Acer laptop. Since I just bought Mike a fully loaded Dell desktop in March he really needed another computer. I got Mike all the accessories he needed to actually make use of the laptop and a computer game he's been wanting.
My Christmas bonus this year was a little underwhelming, but at least I got one. I used it for a Garmon GPS because I travel so much. Oh wait I never go anywhere besides home and Walmart. I got one because I love gadgets that talk to me. It's like having a friend to argue with about directions with me all the time. I got one for Mike too. Why?
Well because Jim got Mike a 2000 Ford Explorer and Mike inherited his father's sense of direction. Jim used to get lost walking from the bedroom to the bathroom and they were connected to each other. It's white, covered in rust, and was seized in a drug bust. Evidently the former owner was an illegal immigrant using it to ferry drugs from Mexico to Canada so mega high mileage. Still, I didn't have to pay for it and it's insured under Jim's policy. I am charged with keeping gas in it and having everything wrong with it fixed. I don't mind because it means I never have to go to the grocery store again. Woo!Hoo!
Before you all go praising Jim's sudden buy useful things for the kids mode, I'd like to remind you I'm updating chronologically even if I cannot consistently remember how to spell such a long word. He's decided that since he bought Jake a pair of shoes and Mike a computer and a truck, he's fulfilled his obligations as a parent. They transferred him at work and since he hates his new job he's not going to go anymore. He wants to go back to school. Paying to support children for ten years is long enough, right? What does he want to go back to school for? "Mmmeh, I don't know. Something. I just hate my job."
He hasn't quit yet, but I expect every payment I get to be the last just to keep from getting in trouble. With work and King Dickhead of Deadbeat I'm down over $1,000 a month. I'm trying to tough it out until work gets back to normal, but I may be looking for a second job soon. I'm not going to sweat it yet. God wouldn't have made mac and cheese so damn good if he didn't mean for us to live on it. Seriously though, we're fine for now. I had some money in an emergency savings account for the first time in my life. This is obviously what I get for planning ahead. Won't make that mistake again!
That brings us to now. I should be working on W2s, but I'm messing around with Zoo World on Facebook. Boredom drove me to do terribly terribly wrong wrong things there. Behold:
My blue ball(lantern)ed anaconda has genital warthogs. *snickers*
So yeah, the end of 2009 and the beginning of 2010 has really sucked anaconda lanterns, but I've decided to laugh about it instead of cry. It'll turn around.
I'm currently weighing my options and trying to convince myself that maybe my second job should be writing related - either freelance to blogs or magazines or finishing one of my WIPs. What's great about NaNo is that there's a deadline. You have X days to finish so no putting stuff off until you're in the mood.
I'm considering doing some revisions on my 2007 NaNo (now available for Kindle) and sending it to an actual publisher. I need someone to go through it for me, mark the typos, and point out where it's confusing or not developed enough. Free copy (PDF or paperback) to anyone willing to take up the task. I have another book half written that I sent a PDF to someone for just that kind of feedback, but she never got back to me. I'm afraid to ask because I think it's because she doesn't want to hurt my feelings. I need some brutal honesty otherwise I'll never move forward. I can't afford the thousands professionals demand so help a chick out?
Man that's one hefty bit of ramble. I didn't even talk about Big Fat Al and Zoe McBitchypaws. Have to save that for another day as the boss has just arrived.
*sings in Kermit voice* I'm going to come back here one day *cue banjo strumming*
Later :)
*Edit: had to make this friends only because I added a link to the whole book in a comment*