I cant keep my mind off you
I dont know how i am feeling right now. Kind of depressed i think. I sat down with my mom and tried to figure out how the hell I'm going to pay for college. Hope, that covers tuition. I'm pretty set on living on campus, so i need to figure out how to pay for it. What it boils down to is about 7000 for this year. I'm going to apply for the stafford loan, which i know i will get, and that'll be 2000, either 2000 or 2500. So I just need to come up with 5000. Not as easy as it sounds. My parents arent helping me, I really dont know how i'm going to do this. So i've been trying to find scholarships. Not too succesful. I've found a couple. Its pretty stressful. I have no college fund, no money set aside, no anything.
Anyways. Megan left me a weird message. I called her twice and her house, but apparently she is way too busy to return my calls. Psh. I also saw Andrew and Ender when i was driving! I got excited and tired to get their attention. I dont get it, i always look around when I am at a light, why dont they. Jerks.
Finally, what i have been waiting for, my tax return, finally went through! Praise allah. I had 60 bucks in my account. I gave my dad what i owed him, and kept what was left. My paycheck was pointless. 96 bucks. Next week i'm only working 3 days, that check will be shitty. I wish everything was free. Having to worry about money sucks. People who have a lot of money, or whose parents pay for a lot of their stuff should be thankful. I guess my parents are teaching me to be responsible. It just kind of sucks, i hardly ever have money to spend, and if i do, its because i'm working non stop, therefore no fun in my life.
I think I am pretty good at masking my true feelings. Lately i've felt so depressed and alone. I think even more so when i'm with a bunch of people. I havent felt like going out, but force myself to because I know i'll regret it if i dont. It just amplifies the fact that I feel lonely. I go through this a lot though. Up and Down. By now, I should be used to it. I just kind of feel like I'm this really weird/insecure/awkward person that people dont understand. Maybe a lot of people feel this way. I dont fucking know, but I dont like it.
This was pretty boring.
Anyways. Megan left me a weird message. I called her twice and her house, but apparently she is way too busy to return my calls. Psh. I also saw Andrew and Ender when i was driving! I got excited and tired to get their attention. I dont get it, i always look around when I am at a light, why dont they. Jerks.
Finally, what i have been waiting for, my tax return, finally went through! Praise allah. I had 60 bucks in my account. I gave my dad what i owed him, and kept what was left. My paycheck was pointless. 96 bucks. Next week i'm only working 3 days, that check will be shitty. I wish everything was free. Having to worry about money sucks. People who have a lot of money, or whose parents pay for a lot of their stuff should be thankful. I guess my parents are teaching me to be responsible. It just kind of sucks, i hardly ever have money to spend, and if i do, its because i'm working non stop, therefore no fun in my life.
I think I am pretty good at masking my true feelings. Lately i've felt so depressed and alone. I think even more so when i'm with a bunch of people. I havent felt like going out, but force myself to because I know i'll regret it if i dont. It just amplifies the fact that I feel lonely. I go through this a lot though. Up and Down. By now, I should be used to it. I just kind of feel like I'm this really weird/insecure/awkward person that people dont understand. Maybe a lot of people feel this way. I dont fucking know, but I dont like it.
This was pretty boring.