I feel like I'm not nice
What the F. I dont like the Killers. New flash, they suck. I will stand by this statement too.
Kind of ready for school to start. As much as i hate first days, homework, awkward people and run-ins at school, i am ready not to see every single person who i went to high school with every day of my life.
I cant stop hating my own heart. I really like xiu xiu. I'm thinking a little too much.
It seems as of lately i'm some sort of really shitty person. i mean this is awesome. Especially for my self esteem. I mean thats cool. people have been getting mad at me left and right. Over stupid shit. yeah it passes in a day or two, but i fucking hate it. I guess at the rate i'm going my new years resolution will be to loose every single one of my friends. Fuck it, i dont really care. Friendships are too much work. I dont care. I want to find someone who wants to be friends but not. That way when everything goes sour, like it always does, no one will be hurt. I dont want to feel.
Lately i've been sort of down. So please excuse me being bitcher and meaner than normal. I cant handle being around people any more.
I really want to be honest with more people. Why do people hide who they really are? I dont know, but having heart-to-hearts with people feels nice. I want to be honest with people. It isnt like i go around telling lies or something, but i just dont expose who i really am. Sometimes i think the trouble is that i dont know who i really am. I dont really know how to figure this out either. Maybe its something that never really comes to you, something everyone always tells you that you are.
Anyway. I feel a little better. I know no one really read that, or probably wanted/cared to know what was going on in my head but at least it made me feel better. During the process of this entry i've made amens with a friend, opened up to someone, and felt physically ill. I dont know. I want things to improve. Fuck it i dont really know what i want. i want someone to tell me what i want.
Still sort of sick.
Bye.
Kind of ready for school to start. As much as i hate first days, homework, awkward people and run-ins at school, i am ready not to see every single person who i went to high school with every day of my life.
I cant stop hating my own heart. I really like xiu xiu. I'm thinking a little too much.
It seems as of lately i'm some sort of really shitty person. i mean this is awesome. Especially for my self esteem. I mean thats cool. people have been getting mad at me left and right. Over stupid shit. yeah it passes in a day or two, but i fucking hate it. I guess at the rate i'm going my new years resolution will be to loose every single one of my friends. Fuck it, i dont really care. Friendships are too much work. I dont care. I want to find someone who wants to be friends but not. That way when everything goes sour, like it always does, no one will be hurt. I dont want to feel.
Lately i've been sort of down. So please excuse me being bitcher and meaner than normal. I cant handle being around people any more.
I really want to be honest with more people. Why do people hide who they really are? I dont know, but having heart-to-hearts with people feels nice. I want to be honest with people. It isnt like i go around telling lies or something, but i just dont expose who i really am. Sometimes i think the trouble is that i dont know who i really am. I dont really know how to figure this out either. Maybe its something that never really comes to you, something everyone always tells you that you are.
Anyway. I feel a little better. I know no one really read that, or probably wanted/cared to know what was going on in my head but at least it made me feel better. During the process of this entry i've made amens with a friend, opened up to someone, and felt physically ill. I dont know. I want things to improve. Fuck it i dont really know what i want. i want someone to tell me what i want.
Still sort of sick.
Bye.